


Barbarians Never Miss

by Cheylouwho



Series: Thieves Work Alone [3]
Category: South Park
Genre: Fantasy AU, M/M, Multi, Raising the Dead, South Park: The Stick of Truth, angsty as hell, douchebag is a dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-08-08 21:26:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 62,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7774345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheylouwho/pseuds/Cheylouwho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The war that has divided Zaron is finally over. The kings are reunited; the humans and elves are free to travel as they please; and Douchebag, the catalyst for the disaster, is dead. After ten long years of being broken, the kingdom is not the only thing struggling to heal as a new threat looms overhead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Long ago, in a faraway place, there lay a kingdom by the name of Zaron. The land was ruled by two kings and their child successor, whom they both loved dearly. As they trained him to grow up just as wise and skilled as they, a tragedy took hold of them. A powerful ancient artifact, the Stick of Truth, was stolen by the young child from under the kings’ noses, dividing the land into three.

 Ten years later, an unlikely relationship formed between the child’s henchman and the king of a barbarian tribe. Together, they set off on a quest to find out the secrets of the Stick and reunite the kingdom once and for all. They gained and lost many friends along the way, but all was over when Douchebag, the one pulling the strings, was shot dead and the Stick returned to the rightful owners. The kings and their child were reunited, and all was said to be at peace.

The broken kingdom was finally able to heal…

 

* * *

 

 

The knife felt heavy in his hand as he hacked at the bark of an old tree. Little by little it wore away until a clear X could be seen in the pale wood. With a small grunt, he dropped the tool to the ground, backing away.

Step. Step. Step. Pause.

He stopped at a considerable distance, the little white marking in the tree still within his sight. Fingers grasped behind himself until they caught the wood of his bow, lifting it from his back, the other hand fumbling for the feathered end of an arrow.

He exhaled, positioning his weapon. It had felt like forever since he had attempted to shoot anything. His bow had been tucked away, sworn off, at least for a little while. It was only because he had been overusing it, he insisted to himself, but his shaking fingers reminded him otherwise as he pulled the drawstring back.

“It’s just a little target, that’s all, just a target…” he whispered to himself, steadying his aim. He could feel his fingers twitch as he relaxed, letting out another drawn out exhale.

Why was he so scared?

“Tweek.”

He jumped, quickly turning around, bow still loaded and drawn back, ready to fire at whomever-

“Oh.” He widened his eyes, quickly lowering the weapon. “C-Craig, I’m…”

The boy in front of him, Feldspar, looked alarmed, but softened his expression when he lowered his bow. “It’s just me,” he said quietly, trying not to startle him further. “What are…what are you doing out here?” A gloved hand ran through his thick, dark hair, attempting to appear casual.

“You should know, I bet you were watching me.” Tweek cracked a smile, giving him a little nudge. “You’re a shitty liar.”

“Come on, I know that!” Feldspar laughed, nudging back. Despite his giggles, his face quickly dropped back into something that the barbarian couldn’t quite read. “No, but really… what _are_ you doing?”

Tweek looked down towards his bow, still gripped tightly in his left hand. The arrow had dropped into the dirt by his feet. “Practicing.”

“Didn’t look like practicing to me. You didn’t shoot nothin’.” Feldspar moved a bit closer, a hand moving to rest on Tweek’s shoulder. “Hey,” he whispered. “You don’t get that scared look on your face when you’re shooting, not ever.”

He was finally able to understand as he looked at his face. He was worried.

“Pshhhh… It’s nothing. Barbarians don’t get scared, especially not the king.” He let the bow drop to the ground, arms reaching out and wrapping around Feldspar’s shoulders. His head rested against his chest, letting out another shaky breath, eyes closing.

The two stood in silence for a moment, nothing but the wind through the trees and the sounds of birds echoing through the woods.

“What…what happened to me? To us?” Tweek finally managed to say, opening his eyes and looking back at Feldspar.

The thief said nothing at first, hand cradling the other’s chin and giving him a brief kiss. “We saved Zaron, didn’t we?”

“We did.” He let another long pause pass them by. “I mean… things feel different now.”

“Good different or bad different?”

“Just…Different.”

“Hmm.”

Tweek slowly released his hold on Feldspar, taking a step backwards and picking up his bow. His fingers traced the deep carvings along the frame. “My mother taught me to shoot this bow. I killed the man who murdered her, I killed so many people, and I never thought twice. This is who I am; this is what barbarians do…” He trailed off, looking back up at the thief. “I don’t know who or what I am anymore. I’m a hero because I killed someone, is that…is that right?”

Feldspar just nodded.

“I killed Douchebag.”

He nodded again.

Tweek turned the other way, kicking at the dirt as he wandered back to his position in front of the tree. He pulled a new arrow from his quiver, setting himself up, letting out a deep breath. He stared down his homemade target. “Do you remember what he said? What he said to me?”

Feldspar was still in place, watching him from a slight distance in silence.

“He said…’You’re no better than me’…. For killing him.” Tweek furrowed his brow, letting the arrow fly. It struck hard into the center of his carving, deep into the wood. “The way… the way he looked at me when his hood fell… with all his faces…” He lowered the bow again, staring the mark, studying it.

“Do you regret it?”

Tweek’s focus broke, eyes darting to meet his boyfriend’s. “What?”

“Do you regret it?” Feldspar repeated, stepping closer.

He didn’t know how to answer. Instead he slung his bow onto his back, pulled his arrow from the tree, walking back to Feldspar and collapsing against him.

“It’s gonna take a long time to get over all this,” Feldspar sighed, letting his arms wrap around Tweek and rest on his back. “The kingdom is struggling to heal…and so are we.”

It had only been two weeks now since the event at the center of the divided kingdom. Feldspar and Tweek had decided to lay low for a while in the barbarian village while the kingdom continued to celebrate. They claimed it was because they didn’t want to be overwhelmed with their new hero status, but in reality, they just wanted some time alone.

Without another word, the two of them took hands and began to make their way back to camp. It was only a short walk until they reached the gathering of carts and people.

“It feels empty here,” Tweek whispered, looking around. Too many of his people had died when the Grand Wizard had raided the camp in search of the Stick.

Feldspar frowned, squeezing his hand tighter. He hated seeing his boyfriend so tense. Perhaps hanging around the camp right now was a bad idea. “Do you want to go somewhere else? I think we’ve been mourning here too long.”

Tweek gave a half shrug, looking the other direction. Despite disliking his wording, he didn’t object. “Like where?”

“We could go to the tavern and see Token. We haven’t, not since…” He trailed off, trying to avoid directly mentioning it. “…so. How about it?”

Tweek smiled, nodding. “Yeah…it would be good to pay him a visit.”

With a decision made, the two turned towards the west, again leaving the camp. It wasn’t too far to the nearby village where their friend, the cleric, owned the local tavern. Almost a month earlier, Feldspar had saved his life and secured his friendship before they had taken off on their journey. Feldspar’s eyes trailed up to the trees by habit, searching. Time with the elves had trained him to be on the lookout for an ambush, despite the kingdom’s newfound peace. Things still didn’t quite feel safe.

“What are you doing?”

“Hmm?” His gaze snapped back to the barbarian, looking startled.

“There’s nothing up there, you know. Hasn’t been for a while,” Tweek told him. “Not since we won, right?” Feldspar felt his hand squeezed again as he let out a little sigh.

“Yeah.” He let himself instead focus on the blond’s face, studying the intricate war paint. “We’re all good now. Douchebag is dead, the kings are united and happy, the kingdom is free… nothing to be afraid of. For _either_ of us.” With that, he kissed his cheek, and the two continued the long walk in silence.

Almost an hour later they arrived at the door to the tavern. Familiar memories flooded back to Tweek as he stared down the old building. A laugh escaped his lips as he remembered his drunken conversation with Feldspar that initiated their adventure in the first place.

“What’s so funny, your highness?” Feldspar gave a little nudge as he pulled open the door, gesturing for Tweek to enter.

“You dork,” he grumbled, trying to force a frown, but he couldn’t help but smile. His hands found their way to his hair, adjusting his crown, before walking in.

“Tweek! Feldspar!” A familiar voice called from somewhere near the bar. The tavern was bustling with life tonight, and right in the middle of it all was their friend.

“Hey, Token!” Feldspar took the lead, walking over to the bar and sitting at the empty stool. Tweek quietly sat beside him, looking around wearily. Despite his hero status, the barbarians still didn’t have a great reputation around the village.

“What are you two doing here?” Token asked, seeming surprised. “I thought you two were at the barbarian camp. Didn’t expect to see you so soon.” He offered then both mugs of some sort of alcohol, which Feldspar took graciously.

Tweek just snorted, giving the thief a little nudge, before taking his own. “Don’t give Craig any more,” he commented, taking a sip. “You know how he gets.”

“Couldn’t forget if I tried,” Token laughed, going back to his work. “No, really though, what brings you out here?”

“We missed your face,” Feldspar answered sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “Nah, in all seriousness, we needed to get out.” He dropped his voice to a loud whisper, not even trying to be quiet. “ _He_ was getting kinda antsy.”

“Was not.” Tweek scowled, setting his cup on the table and crossing his arms. “This was your suggestion.”

Feldspar shrugged it off, finishing his mug with one long gulp before slamming it back on the table.

“Careful there, sweetie, don’t drink that too fast, you won’t have enough to last you the night.” A cheery voice came from behind them, the owner swinging gracefully behind the bar beside Token. She kissed him briefly on the cheek before turning back to the two heroes, hands resting on her waist. “My goodness, it’s you!”

Token let out a laugh, sliding closer to her. “Hey, boys, meet my wife, Nichole.”

The woman, Nichole, held out a hand to each of them. “I’m so glad to finally meet you! You’ve done so much for our kingdom, I’m honored.”

“Eh, Token deserves as much credit as we do,” Feldspar laughed. “It’s great to meet you too.”

“I’m so glad the kings are united and happy again,” she continued, grabbing the empty cup off the counter and wiping it on her apron, “we’ve never seen the tavern so busy! There’s people from all over, traveling this way for that ceremony this week.”

“Ceremony?” Tweek had been sitting silently for a while, but the word had caught his attention. He slowly lowered his cup, interest peaked. “What ceremony?”

“You haven’t heard? News travels so quickly around the kingdom-”

“Well, when you’re a barbarian…hah…” Tweek let out a nervous laugh.

Nichole let out a nervous cough. “Ah…anyway… The kings are intending to hold a big ceremony as they begin to tear down the walls that divide Zaron. With the Grand Wizard, the High Elf, and the Dark Lord- er… does he have a new name now?”

“I have no idea,” Token said, shrugging.

“Well, the three of them are all united now, so there’s no reason to have separate factions. The elves from the south-west, the beasts and child army from the south-east and the humans from the north can all go wherever they please for the first time in ten whole years.”

“Won’t you two be going?” Token asked curiously. “I mean…me and Jimmy will be there. We all should, we’re kind of the reason why all this could happen.”

“I don’t think-“ Tweek started, but Feldspar immediately interrupted.

“Well, yeah, of course!” He looked back towards the barbarian king, giving a huge smile. “Come on, Tweek, this could be really good for us.”

“I don’t want-“

“Tweek, come on. You can’t hide in the barbarian village forever.” Feldspar stared him down, grabbing for his hands. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

He let out a sigh, eyes closing tightly. There really wasn’t a rational reason for him to be so nervous about all of this. Maybe he was right, he just needed to stop mourning and take a step in the right direction.

“Okay, okay. We’ll go.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Two weeks.

For two weeks now, he’d been dead.

She knew she wasn’t supposed to go into her uncle’s private spaces, but she couldn’t resist. She crept up the stairs of the west tower, making her way into the unoccupied spell room. The Grand Wizard had spent an awful lot of time brooding there during the war, but now that his son had returned, he was busy in the main ballroom of the castle with celebrations.

It was a perfect window of opportunity.

Her gloved hands ran along the railing of the stairwell, each step echoing in the tiny space. How on earth did he climb the never ending steps every day? It was almost too much for her to handle. She knew it would be worth it though if she was able to find what she was looking for.

After what felt like an eternity, she reached the top. Her hand rested against her chest as she panted heavily. It took her a moment to catch her breath, but with a quick brush of her skirt and an adjustment of her braids, she was back to business.

Quickly, she pulled open the heavy wooden door that lead into the spell room. There were no windows in sight, the dark room lit by only a few lanterns and the glow of magical objects strewn about its many shelves. Books and spellcasting objects were everywhere.

“Doesn’t look like he keeps this place very tidy,” she grumbled softly, gripping the fabric of her skirt and hiking it up as she stepped over what she assumed used to be a glass orb. It had shattered in the middle of the floor, and her uncle had neglected to clean it up. Her eyes wandered the shelves as she carefully stepped around the room, looking and looking…

She suddenly froze, eyes going wide. She dropped her skirt and hurried to the nearby shelf, reaching up and pulling a worn green book from under a set of vials. She flinched as they dropped to the floor, shattering. Oh well… there were already so many broken objects lying around, a few more wouldn’t seem suspicious.

With the book now in her possession, she immediately began riffling through the thick pages, coughing a little at the dust kicked up around her. Her frustration only became more apparent with each turned leaf- no, it wasn’t here! With an angry grunt, she tossed the book over her shoulder, reaching for the next one she could see with a green bind. She was sure it was green, it had to be green…

“Kenny? Kenny, where are you?”

She let out a squeak at the sound of her name being called from somewhere at the bottom of the tower. Shit, she’d have to climb the tower again later, she couldn’t have anyone becoming suspicious. She quickly placed the book exactly where she’d found it, brushing off her skirt again and ridding herself of any dust. Without another sound, she backtracked over the shattered glass and out the wooden door, hastily making the decent back to the main castle.

“Don’t worry, Douchebag,” she whispered to herself, looking over her shoulder as the spell room disappeared from sight, “I’m going to fix this.”

 

* * *

 

“I can’t believe you talked me into this,” Tweek sighed, going over the contents of his backpack for a third time.

“Come on, they’re expecting us to go,” Feldspar begged, coming up behind him. After spending some time at the tavern, they had walked back to the camp to prepare for the journey towards the castle. His arms wrapped around the Barbarian’s middle, head resting against his shoulder as he looked into his bag from behind him. “Can you just be done? I think we have everything.”

“Let me check, just one more time,” he insisted.

“You’re stalling.”

“Am not!” Okay, maybe a little. He was dreading the celebration, and he was dreading seeing the kings again… the last time he had really met with either of them, they had wanted his head. He assured himself that his worry was perfectly valid. “Besides,” he said, finally closing up the bag, “whatever happened to that whole ‘thieves like to be by themselves’ stuff?”

“I changed my mind.” Feldspar quickly kissed his cheek, letting go long enough to take his hand instead. “Now, come on, let’s get to bed so we can head out in the morning, yeah?”

Tweek sighed, leaving the bag on the table as the two made their way to bed. The village outside was quiet now- everyone else had gotten the same idea. “You’re right… it’s best we rest. It’s been a long day and tomorrow will be another.”

The two climbed under the covers, snuggling together in the dark of the tent.

“Night, Tweek.”

“Night, Craig.”

The sound of soft breathing and birds chirping in the woods slowly lulled them both to sleep. Ever since their journey had first begun, Feldspar had been riddled with strange visions. Voices speaking to him, telling him clues and other odd things…

He tossed and turned as he began to dream.

He was in a dark space, like many of them had started. Weightless, floating… alone.

“Hello?” he called, but nobody answered. Just like Douchebag’s missing presence, the voices were gone too. After all, it had been Douchebag speaking to him in his sleep.

Suddenly, he felt himself turning in his weightless state until he was sure he was upside down. A pounding sound surrounded him- It sounded almost like a drum. It was deafeningly loud, causing him to throw his hands over his ears in an attempt to block it out. He was not alone anymore. Someone else was there.

A force suddenly grabbed at his throat, causing him to choke. “STOP!” His arms flailed, trying to hit it, but he was failing horribly. It wasn’t something he could touch; there was nothing there for him to push away.

“I…Will…Be…Back…” he found himself saying, his own voice barely escaping his mouth with whatever was holding his throat. He didn’t say that, did he say that? Why did he say that? Why did he-

He awoke with a scream, hands grasping for anything, anything to pull him back into reality. What he found was his boyfriend’s arms, quickly wrapping around him.

“What happened this time?” the barbarian asked calmly, pulling him closer.

“Coming back,” Feldspar whispered, resting against him. “Douchebag is coming back…”

“No, he isn’t.” Tweek laid them both back down, trying to soothe him back to sleep. “You tell me yourself… he’s dead, isn’t he?”

“He’s dead, yeah…” Feldspar closed his eyes, still curled up in his arms. Tweek had to be right. It was just a dream... With the comfort of the barbarian, he slowly began to fall back into a dreamless sleep.

 

* * *

 

The sun creeping through the flaps of their tent woke them both in the morning. Today was the day they’d begin their travel to the castle. Feldspar had insisted they take one of the horses to get there faster; that way they’d spend a few days at the castle before the ceremony. Tweek had objected at first, but finally gave in at the compromise that they would head back home immediately after.

They gathered the bags they had packed earlier, triple checking that they had everything they needed before walking out into the camp. It was always busy in the mornings. All the warriors were moving about, preparing for time without their leader. A few of the children of the camp were playing by the carts, chasing each other around. Tweek couldn’t help but smile at them when they waved hello as they passed.

The two of them finally reached the corral where the horses were kept when the village was stationary. Tweek called for the fastest one and quickly loaded their things.

“Mornin’, Stripe,” Feldspar whispered, patting the horse on the bridge of its nose.

“Do you have to call every animal you meet ‘Stripe’?” Tweek asked, climbing onto the horse.

“Do you have to criticize my naming abilities?”

They both giggled as Tweek offered a hand to him, pulling him up onto the horse. “You ready?”

“I’m always ready.” Feldspar wrapped his arms around Tweek’s middle, situating himself behind him. “Let’s ride.”

With a quick yell and a pull on the reigns, the horse sped off into the woods, following the path to the castle. It felt nice to ride a horse without worrying about the threat of war or ambush. It felt like forever since the barbarian could just ride.

Feldspar felt his eyes wander back up to the trees by habit. Tweek had assured him that it was safe, but with his dream last night, he couldn’t help but be cautious. Douchebag had spoken to him twice from the treetops. If he was back, he’d… No. Feldspar dropped his head, pressing his cheek against Tweek’s back.

It was just a dream.

They continued on for most the day, stopping to rest and eat a few times until they finally could see the castle in the distance. “We made it,” Feldspar sighed, happy to finally arrive. The ride had been more stressful than he had anticipated.

The two rode their horse right up to the front gate, where a guard offered to put him away in the barns for them. Feldspar gave ‘Stripe’ another quick pat before they were escorted inside.

Tweek shuddered at the sight of the ballroom. The last time they had been here, he was about to be killed. Ah, what great memories.

“Tweek! Feldspar!” A familiar voice called out to them from the other end of the ballroom. The Elf King was approaching them, his long red robes dragging along the marble floor behind him. “We’re so glad you came, we haven’t had a chance to really congratulate our heroes yet.”

Tweek moved to bow to him, but before he could, he found the king bowing to _him_.

“I…your highness…”

“You deserve just as much respect, Barbarian.” The elf smiled warmly as he stood back up again, adjusting his crown in his mass of hair. “I apologize for trying to kill you before… No hard feelings?”

“None at all,” Tweek lied, forcing a smile. Feldspar giggled, causing him to let go of his hand and swat at him.

“Please, come this way, Eric and Clyde and Kenny would love to see you,” the king said, gesturing for them to follow. The two trailed behind him as they left the ballroom, walking up a flight of stairs and out to a balcony where two of the three were waiting.

“Welcome,” the wizard said, looking towards them as they entered. He was sitting in a chair, overlooking the setting sun. On the other side of him was Clyde, doing the same. However, as soon as the boy took notice, he jumped up from his seat and ran towards them, throwing his arms around Feldspar.

The thief jumped at the sudden contact, stumbling a little. “Woah, sir-“

“You don’t have to call me that, I’m not the Dark Lord anymore,” Clyde corrected, pulling back and beaming. “I’m just happy to see you again.”

Feldspar let himself smile, a small laugh escaping him as he looked at the other boy. “I’m happy too.”

“Oh- come on, come look,” Clyde insisted, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him closer to the edge of the balcony. “It’s it beautiful?”

Feldspar looked out, placing his free hand on the railing. From here, he could see the whole kingdom. Over the distant walls, he could make out the elven forest and the dark lord’s old castle. “It is,” he said softly, feeling Tweek come stand beside him.

“Where’s Kenny?” The High Elf finally asked, looking around. “I thought she was out here with you two?”

“I have no idea,” the wizard replied, shrugging. “She keeps disappearing off somewhere.”

The sound of heels running suddenly echoed behind them, a voice calling out. “Wait, sorry, I’m here!” The princess made her way out onto the balcony, seeming out of breath.

“Where were you at?” Clyde asked, letting go of Feldspar and turning around. “You look tired.”

“Ah…just playing in the gardens.” She gave a small smile, brushing one of her braids from her face. “I was running around, like when we were younger.”

Feldspar frowned. He remembered Kenny telling him something about the castle gardens before, but something about her seemed off.

“Oh.” The child king’s face suddenly lit up with a mischievous smile. “Hope you’re not too tired because- TAG!” He ran forward and tapped the princess on the shoulder, bolting back into the castle on his way to the gardens. Kenny ran off behind him, laughing.

The High Elf shook his head. “Just like when they were kids… They may be adults now, but they’re still young to me.”

“Everyone seems young to you, mister ‘I live forever’.” The Grand Wizard laughed, standing up from his chair. “We should probably take our guests to their room, it’s getting late. The others should be arriving soon and then in a few days it will be the ceremony…”

“Stop worrying,” the elf king sighed. “I’ve gotten it all taken care of.” He waved for Feldspar and Tweek to follow him again. The three made their way back into the castle and up another flight of stairs to a hallway of bedrooms.

“We’ve gotten this one prepared for the both of you.” He opened the door, giving another quick bow. “Come join us for dinner in an hour, alright?” With that, he left them alone.

“I don’t know why I was so worried,” Tweek sighed, stepping into the large bedroom. “This has been very pleasant so far.” He dumped their bags on the bed before walking to the large window opposite of the bed, staring out.

“Hmm.” Feldspar frowned. He felt like he was missing something. “The Princess? Just…running around the gardens? That doesn’t sound right…”

“Don’t you start worrying now,” Tweek sighed, turning around and walking back. He gave Feldspar a quick kiss, smiling. “Let’s just relax for a bit until dinner.”

Feldspar smiled back, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s just relax.”

He was going to keep an eye on Kenny.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Kenny quietly set the table, laying out each plate in a neat row. She’d rather have been exploring the spell room again, but her uncle had instructed her to help. Token and Jimmy had finally arrived, which meant dinner would be very soon, and the table had to be ready. How boring… at least she had Clyde to keep her company. Since Douchebag was gone, he was the only one she had left.

The child king was flopped over in one of the chairs, kicking his feet.

“Would you please help me?” the princess asked, slightly annoyed. She loved her cousin dearly, but his immaturity drove her mad. “You’re just as lazy as when we were kids.”

“How come you keep talking like that?” Clyde rolled his eyes, climbing out of the chair and grabbing some silverware. He began to lay them out in equally neat rows. “You act like our childhood was the best thing ever. We just messed around in the garden and played pranks on the kings…”

Kenny sighed. “It was fun though. Douchebag used to play too, remember?”

“Yeah, but he’s dead now.” Clyde finished setting out the silverware, stepping back. “If he hadn’t messed everything up, we wouldn’t have to be healing right now, you _know_ that, Ken.” He just didn’t understand why she missed him so much. With all the things he had done, everyone else seemed perfectly happy to be rid of him.

Kenny just hummed sadly, closing her eyes. “I know. Don’t you just wish you could go back to the way it was?”

“No.” Clyde frowned, his tone turning unnaturally hostile. “I don’t ever want to see him again. It’s bad enough that I saw what you did in the garden.”

Kenny froze, staring at him, eyes like daggers. “You keep your mouth shut, you little brat!”

“I’ll tell the kings!”

“You wouldn’t DARE!”

“Children, why on earth are you fighting?” The High Elf entered the dining hall, arms crossed. “I heard yelling.”

“Nothing, sir,” the princess replied, quietly going back to setting the table.

“Nothing, father.” Clyde slowly turned his gaze away from her, looking up at the elf. “Just playing.”

“Come on Clyde,” the king sighed, softening a little, “we have guests. Please act properly.”

“Sorry…I will.” 

Before another word could be said, the Grand Wizard had entered the hall with all four guests behind him. Clyde immediately perked up, forgetting all about the argument.

Everyone took their seats at the table as dinner began to be served, engaging in small talk. There was some discussion about the ceremony and tearing down the walls, but for the most part, it was fairly casual.

After a while, Feldspar turned to the princess, unable to help himself. “So... the garden, huh?” He couldn’t help the anxious feeling in his stomach as he spoke to her.

“Ah…yes.” She gave him a quick glance before turning her eyes back to her meal. “It’s rather beautiful. It’s a little courtyard near the west side of the castle.”

“You…go there often?”

“Mmm. It’s really relaxing. There are tons of white rose bushes- you know, my uncle loves roses. He planted them there himself.” She let out a giggle under her breath, smiling. “He can be an ass at times, but he has a soft side.”

Feldspar giggled with her, unable to help it. Her bubbly laugh was very contagious. “Don’t worry, I believe you. It sounds great.”

Before they knew it, everyone had finished their food and were ready to head back to their rooms. 

 “Hey, Feldspar.” Kenny quietly nudged him as everyone began to move about the table, cleaning up. “Would you like to come with me on a walk?”

“Hmm? Where?” The anxious feeling in the thief’s stomach began to build again.

“Oh…I thought you might like to see the garden.” Kenny gave a small smile, looking at the floor. “I mean… you asked about it earlier.”

“Oh, yeah.” Feldspar let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Alone? With her? His gut told him to refuse, but for some reason, he found himself agreeing. Before he knew it, Kenny had grabbed him by the arm, excusing them both. He couldn’t help but look behind himself to see Tweek’s puzzled expression. _I’ll be right back_ , he mouthed, and the barbarian nodded.

The princess led him along the corridor just outside the dining hall. It was quiet at this time of night- they appeared to be the only ones around. They moved along towards the west side of the castle until they reached a large double door with beautiful rosettes carved into the frame.

“Here we are,” she said, pushing it open with her free hand. As soon as she did, the two of them were greeted by the sight of hundreds of white roses blooming in the night air. A stone path covered the expansive garden, different types of flowers and trees growing between the rose bushes. In the center of it all was a huge fountain surrounded by little stone statues. At the farthest end was a huge stone tower, overlooking it all.

“Wow,” the thief breathed, looking around. It was even grander than she had described. “This is amazing…”

“I told you,” she said, leading him along the path towards the middle of the garden. The roses gave the area a sweet smell as they walked along. “It’s really calming to be out here.” She reached out to pluck a rose from one of the bushes, sniffing it before passing it to Feldspar. He hesitantly took it, looking it over for a moment before doing the same.

“What, you don’t trust me?” Kenny teased, giving him a little nudge with her shoulder. “It’s just a rose. Unless my uncle poisoned them or something…” She paused, laughing at the sudden look of shock on his face. “…which he _didn’t_ , you’re fine.”

Feldspar sighed, smiling again. “Sorry… I’m a little tense tonight. I’m just stressed out about everything that’s been happening.”

“That’s understandable. There’s a lot going on right now in Zaron.” Kenny led him closer to the fountain, walking around the perimeter of the stone statues. They were all depictions of the important people within the kingdom. The Grand Wizard and High Elf stood side by side, each holding their respective weapons. Clyde’s statue was covered in chains of roses in some sort of memorial- from when he was still the Dark Lord, Feldspar assumed. Beside him was Kenny, then a few of the kings’ closest friends and warriors and…

Feldspar stopped walking, staring at the final figure in their circle. The face was hidden by an oversized hood, concealing the identity. “…Douchebag.”

Kenny stared sadly at the statue, nodding. “Yeah…that’s him alright.”

Feldspar continued to stare at the statue for a moment more before turning away. He didn’t want to see him, not with the threat of his return still at the back of his mind. “Um… let’s just…keep walking.”

Kenny nodded again, moving along away from the statues and the fountain along a separate path. “If you don’t mind… I have one more thing to show you.”

Feldspar felt his breath catch again, thoughts racing. “A-and what’s that?”

The princess stopped walking at the end of the path, staring down. Slowly, Feldspar followed her gaze until he was looking at the rose bushes in front of them. There was a large space of dirt where someone had clearly pulled one out. In its place there was a large mound, a single rotting rose lying on top of it.

They stood in silence, knowing exactly what they were looking at.

“I put him here,” Kenny finally said, grabbing another rose from a nearby plant. She let go of Feldspar’s arm, stooping down and laying it on top of the old flower. “Nobody else was going to do it…I thought I’d give him a proper burial.”

The thief swallowed thickly, unable to say anything. Finally, he closed his eyes, twirling the rose the princess had given him between his fingers. He stooped down beside her, laying it beside the one she had placed.

“Thank you,” she whispered, the two of them meeting eyes.  

Feldspar slowly stood up, letting her take his arm again. “What was he like when you were children?” he asked, unable to help himself. “You mentioned it briefly before, when we were trying to bring everyone together…”

“Mmm.” She continued staring at the grave, thinking. “He was pretty normal. He was one of the king’s warriors who had taken a liking to me and my cousin. He’d always come play with us after training, and we’d all mess around. I grew attached to him… he was like an older brother to me.” She gravitated closer, resting against Feldspar’s side. “He seemed nice enough… then he started acting weird. He’d wear that cloak and hide his face, never taking it off for anyone. One day Clyde disappeared, and douchebag did too… The kings were arguing, and one of their best men was nowhere to be found to help calm the situation.”

“But…obviously, he came back,” Feldspar commented.

She nodded. “He did, but only to me. He took me aside and apologized for being missing all those years, promising to make everything right again…little did I know he would turn around and lie to me.” Kenny paused, eyes drifting away from his resting place. “Still, I can’t help but forgive him. I…I miss him.”

Feldspar remained silent, unsure what to say. The princess was clearly very attached to him, but he couldn’t sympathize with her wish of his return. He had done too much to ruin the kingdom; if he was back, it would be a disaster.

Kenny slowly began to lead them back away from the grave and towards the main path. “Don’t tell anyone that he’s here,” she said suddenly, wide eyes darting up to the thief. “Nobody can know.”

Feldspar felt a pang of guilt in his chest. He almost felt like he should tell _someone_ , but the look of sadness and loss in her eyes told him to abandon the thought. “Don’t worry, I promise. Thief’s word.”

“Thank you, Feldspar.” The princess led them up to the wooden door again, closing it behind them. “I appreciated talking with you.”

“Um… you too.”  Feldspar smiled as sincerely as he could. There was nothing to be afraid of; he knew where Douchebag was, and the princess had just been mourning over him. There was no reason to be so stressed. “You’ve really helped clear my mind.”

The princess led him to the end of the hall before letting go of his arm, turning the other way. “Goodnight then, Feldspar. Sleep well.”

“Where are you going?” he asked, looking at her curiously. “The main castle’s this way.”

“Ah… I just have some things to do.” Her eyes darted back towards the doors of the garden.

Feldspar nodded slowly. She wasn’t done mourning yet. “I…I see. Sorry. Goodnight, Princess.”

With that, the two parted ways.

 

* * *

 

“So…how did your little chat go?” Tweek was already relaxing on the bed, dressed in one of the extravagant night-robes the kings had provided. Feldspar had come back into the room looking a bit troubled.

“It was fine,” he said, grabbing his own robe and quickly dressing before sitting on the bed. “We just walked around the garden for a bit. It’s really pretty… lots of roses and statues and stuff.”

“Is… that all?” Tweek scooted closer, trying to make him feel comfortable. “Craig, you’re an awful liar. What happened?”

“I said it was nothing.” Feldspar lay down against the sheets, curling up against Tweek’s chest. “Can we just go to sleep?”

“Oh- um, yeah, of course.” Tweek wrapped his arms around him, holding him tightly. His behavior was suddenly concerning him. Feldspar had seemed so excited to come to the castle, but now he was anxious and withholding information. He had to have seen something… but that could wait until the morning. It was probably best to sleep it off. “Goodnight then.”

“Night.” Feldspar closed his eyes tightly, trying to relax. He finally fell into a fitful sleep, finding himself dreaming of the same dark room as the night before, floating in space.

As he floated, the same drums started to pound, making him aware of the other being’s presence. “I saw you today,” he whispered, looking around in the pitch black. “I saw you today. You’re gone, you’re dead, you aren’t coming back…” It was more to assure himself than to talk to the presence.

It was suddenly grabbing at his throat again, but this time, he felt himself slamming into something- a wall? A floor? He couldn’t tell. His own voice croaked out of his throat, speaking for the one grabbing him.

_“Not for long.”_

He awoke with a scream, scrambling backwards until he fell off the bed. His hands flew over his mouth, trying to silence himself and not wake Tweek, who was somehow still fast asleep. After a moment of heavy breathing, he removed it, looking around the unfamiliar room.

“Just…Just a dream,” he whispered, forcing himself to shakily stand up. He looked at the sleeping barbarian for a moment before shaking his head, turning the other way towards the door. Maybe he’d just take a little walk around the castle to clear his mind before going back to bed.

His long blue night-robes dragged behind him as bare feet walked along the polished castle floor. It was eerily quiet this time of night with the lights off and the empty halls. He made his way in a large circle towards the west garden again. Maybe he’d take the princess’ advice and walk there for a while- it was a rather calming area.

As he entered the hall leading to the door, a shadowed figure at the other end caused him to jump and dart back to safety. Someone else was awake, at this time of night? Heart pounding in his throat, he peered out into the hallway again, trying to focus on the shape. The unmistakable silhouette of the princess was exiting some sort of doorway just beyond the garden. Curiously, he watched her disappear down another hallway before stepping out from his hiding spot.

“What were you doing?” he found himself whispering under his breath, moving down the hall. Each step felt like an echoing stomp as he passed the garden and reach the strange door. He opened it quietly and peered inside to find some sort of staircase. Even while looking up, he couldn’t quite see the top. It must have been the tall tower he had seen while in the garden.

With a frustrated sigh, he backed up, eyes darting around. The princess was nowhere to be seen. He might as well finish his walk and get back to bed; he could find out where the stairs led in the morning. As he went back the way he came, he counted the doors in an attempt to calm himself to sleep.

Suddenly, a shrill, frightened scream made him jolt. It had come from somewhere behind him, but from who? A sudden wave of panic caused him to turn around, running full speed towards where it had come from. Were they okay? What had-

He was abruptly colliding headfirst into another figure, dizzily knocking himself back against the floor.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Hands were grabbing at his arms, helping him up. Feldspar quickly came back to his senses, looking up to find the Elf King staring right at him. “Are you okay?”

“S-sorry, was just going for a walk,” he mumbled, rubbing at his head. He suddenly remembered why he had been running in the first place. “Did you hear that scream?”

The king nodded, walking quickly down the hall. Feldspar hurried behind him, trying to match his long strides. “It’s Clyde again, probably a nightmare. I’m just going to check on him.”

“Nightmare?” Feldspar widened his eyes. That sounded a bit too familiar to brush off.

The elf nodded, reaching one of the doors to a bedroom. “He’s been getting them ever since Douchebag was killed. He’s been through a lot between the corruption and manipulation… I don’t blame him for being scared.” He opened the door, looking back at Feldspar. “If you’ll excuse me-“

“Wait,” Feldspar said suddenly, grabbing the king by the edge of his robe. He quickly let go, stepping back respectfully. “I mean, your highness… I passed by a room in the west of the castle with a staircase. Where does that go?”

The elf looked confused for a second. “It’s just the spell room. You don’t need to worry about it.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Feldspar gave a quick nod. “I’ll be getting back to bed now.” With that, he turned around to leave the king to tend to his son. As he made his way back to bed, he couldn’t help but think.

“…Spell room?”


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Feldspar blinked awake to find himself cocooned in soft sheets, lying close to his boyfriend. The sun was shining through the large window at the far end of the room, reminding him that he was in the castle rather than back at the barbarian camp. He sighed gently, brushing the hair from his face. He rubbed at his eyes and stared out the window for a moment before curling back into Tweek’s chest. Memories from the night before were slowly coming back to him, and he had a lot of questions.

It didn’t take long for the barbarian king to stir, hazel eyes lazily blinking open as little hands rubbed at smeared war paint.

“You really shouldn’t wear that to bed,” Feldspar whispered, smiling to him when their eyes met.

“Good morning to you, too,” Tweek laughed, kissing him on the nose before playfully pouting. “I didn’t hear you last night… did you sleep okay?”

“Mmm?” Feldspar blinked a few times, trying to remember. “I think…I think I had a dream…” He trailed off, unable to remember what happened. It probably wasn’t important. “I did get up in the middle of the night though... took a little walk through the castle to clear my head.”

“Oh?” Tweek looked curiously at him, shifting a little in the bed.

“Yeah.” Feldspar rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling. “I ran into the Elf King while he was on his way to comfort Clyde from his own nightmares.” He had asked him about that room…

“Did he say anything?”

“Well…before that, I saw something strange.” He rolled back over, thinking. “I saw Kenny coming out of a room down the hall from the gardens.” Feldspar stopped, suddenly feeling anxious. He had sworn not to tell anyone about the princess’ secret. “I mean… it wasn’t _that_ strange. Probably just another guest room… Never mind.” He let out another laugh, forcing a smile.

Tweek frowned, feeling hurt. He still wasn’t letting up about what happened in the gardens. “Um…okay.”

Feldspar slowly exhaled, sitting up. He’d have to figure this out on his own. If anyone knew, the two kings would freak out and the kingdom would be sent into yet another mass chaos. They didn’t need that, not with the ceremony being tomorrow. “I’m gonna go down to breakfast, are you coming?”

“Yeah, I’ll be down in a bit, why don’t you go ahead?” The barbarian slowly rolled out of the bed. “I just gotta touch up my paints.”

“Okay, _beauty queen_ , I’ll see you in a couple of hours then.” Feldspar quickly dressed himself, blowing a kiss before leaving the blond to his routine. He always was slow in the morning. It took him no time to get back down to the dining hall. Several breakfast items had already been set out for them to eat.

 Jimmy was already wide awake, sitting at the otherwise empty table with his lute in hand. “Morning, F-Feldspar.” He glanced up for a moment before going back to quietly plucking the strings.

“Do you go anywhere without that thing?”

“Nope.” The bard smiled, setting the instrument on the table. “It keeps me c-c-company.”

Feldspar sat himself at the other side of the table, lazily leaning back. He hadn’t really gotten a chance to talk to the elf alone yet, since dinner had been so quick the night before. He grabbed a roll from the table, quickly gulping it down. “How are things in the forest? I haven’t been back there since me and Tweek left towards this castle to get the Stick.”

“Mmmm… it’s been alright.” Jimmy pressed his two fingers to the bridge of his nose, seeming annoyed. “We’ve had a lot of h-humans passing through for the f-first time in y…years. It’s causing a bit of upset, I’m af-afraid. We’ve already got so many funerals going on from the b-battle.”

Feldspar frowned, looking the other way. He couldn’t help but feel guilty. The casualties from the elven faction could have been avoided if he had stayed away from the forest.

“Don’t be guilty,” Jimmy interjected, looking up. Feldspar shook his head, snapping to attention. He had forgotten the bard’s amazing perception. “It was necessary f-for all to fall into p-place.”

The thief’s gaze fell back on the lute, noticing a scrap of yellow tied around the arm of the instrument. He remembered the brilliant yellow dress his sweetheart, Leslie, had worn before she was shot down. “Did…”

Jimmy nodded. “She’s already buried.”

The tense silence lasted for only a moment more before Jimmy spoke again.  “Feldspar… is something t-troubling you?”

“What? No.” He forced yet another laugh, trying to clear his mind. Jimmy couldn’t know, he couldn’t possibly-

“I’m sensing s-something about the p-p-princess. Shame on you F-Feldspar, you’ve already got yourself a m-mighty fine lo…lover.”

“What?!” he squeaked, jumping. “Dude!” Where the hell was he getting that vibe from? That wasn’t the case at all.

“I’m only teasing,” the bard laughed, waving his hand. “I do s-sense something about her though.”

Feldspar shook his head while he flushed, embarrassed at his outburst. “We went for a walk last night in the gardens. Just been thinking about that.”

Jimmy pressed no further as the High Elf entered the dining hall, donning his familiar bright robes. “Good morning, gentlemen!” Clyde wasn’t far behind, hiding quietly behind him.

“Good morning,” they both replied, watching as he took his seat at the head of the table. His child sat beside him, still seeming oddly timid and reserved.

“So, Feldspar…” The king smiled to him, resting one arm against the table. “You asked about the spell room last night. How come?”

He felt himself freeze, trying to think of an explanation. “Oh, I was just curious. I saw it from the gardens last night when I was walking with Kenny and I wasn’t sure what it was.”

“Mmm, yes. I was so brief last night, I apologize.” His gaze turned to Clyde, who had grabbed onto the sleeve of his robe, still silent. “I was…a bit too busy to answer properly.”

“It’s okay,” Feldspar said, also staring at Clyde. It was so unlike him to be this quiet. Usually he would be talking nonstop, bouncing around about something. This was unnatural. “Is…he okay?”

Kyle bit his lip. “He’s just… having a rough morning.” He pat his son on the head, looking concerned. “I know he can be a bit childish, but he hasn’t been this clingy since he was a tiny little thing...”

Clyde only buried his face in his sleeve, hiding.

“Gooooood morning,” came another voice as the door to the dining area flew open. The Grand Wizard entered, looking groggy despite his obnoxious entrance. “Mornin’ Kyle, mornin’ Clyde…” he paused as he passed the two of them, meeting eyes with the elf. “What’s up with him?”

“Don’t be so insensitive, Eric,” Kyle hissed, instinctively putting his free arm around Clyde. “He was up all night.”

“Sorry, jeez…” The wizard rolled his eyes, heading towards the other end of the table and sitting in his chair. He began stuffing his face full of whatever he could reach on the table, much to the other king’s disgust.

“Anyway…” Kyle perked back up, trying to ignore him. “I was just about to say, perhaps we can show you around the spell room since you were asking.” His eyes darted to the other end of the table, suddenly becoming very stern. “You’ll do that, won’t you _, Eric_?”

“Me?!” The wizard scowled, placing his hands on the table. “Why do I have to?!”

“Our guests are going to be waiting around the castle for an entire day before the ceremony tomorrow. We need to be good hosts and entertain them. Isn’t that what you told me?”

“Yeah, but by entertain them, I thought you were gonna do it.” The king leaned back in his seat, kicking his feet onto the table.

The elf scowled, refusing to acknowledge his act of defiance. “Don’t argue in front of Clyde, and especially not our guests.”

“I ain’t arguin’.”

“Well then, that settles it!” The Elf King awkwardly clapped his hands together, his son still clinging to his robes. “Eric will give you all a tour this afternoon.”

Before the wizard could protest, another voice was coming from the doorway of the dining hall. “Sorry I’m late!” In came Kenny, breathing just as heavily as the night before when they met at the balcony. The only difference was-

“Kenny, are you…green?” Feldpar gawked at her, a baffled look on his face. He didn’t mean to stare, but he could swear she looked different than when he had last seen her.

“You’re right- are you feeling okay?” The Grand Wizard stood up from his seat, walking over to her and studying her face. “You do look kind of green.”

“Oh? I…” she seemed alarmed, but quickly began to appear woozy. “Oh yes, I’m… feeling a bit strange.”

“Are you ill, Kenny?” The High Elf frowned, looking her over.

Kenny looked to the elf before her eyes drifted to Clyde, who had peeked out a bit from his hiding spot. The child let out a frightened shriek, burying his face back in the king’s robes.

“Clyde, what the hell is with you this morning?” the Grand Wizard demanded, turning back to the table.

“Eric, I told you to be sensitive!” Kyle angrily stood up from the table, the boy quickly scrambling to get behind him. “Eugh, come along, Clyde…” The two of them left the dining hall in a hurry.

“YOU CAN’T BABY HIM FOREVER!” The Grand Wizard called out behind them, angrily stomping his foot. As soon as the door slammed shut, he sighed with defeat. “I’ll…go take Kenny to lie down. I guess I’ll see you all later for the tour I’ve been so _graciously_ appointed.” With that, he led the princess out of the room.

“Jimmy?” Feldspar slowly turned to the bard, a confused look on his face. “Can you make anything of this?”

“Unfortunately, not even I can f-figure out what’s g-going on.” He smiled, pushing his seat back and grabbing for his crutches. “Although… I get the feeling y-y-you know more than a…any of us.” With a light laugh, he exited the hall, leaving the thief to eat the rest of his breakfast in tormented silence.

 

* * *

 

A few hours later, the four heroes found themselves waiting by the door of the tall tower. The Grand Wizard still hadn’t arrived yet, which didn’t surprise him- he had made it perfectly clear he wasn’t in the mood.

“So what exactly is this again?” Token asked, leaning against the wall. “I heard it was something about magic… I’m actually kinda curious.”

“It’s the wizard’s spell room,” Feldspar corrected, staring at the door. His hand was intertwined with the barbarian’s as he stared curiously at the door into the tower. Finally, maybe he’d get an idea of what the princess had been up to. She seemed sick this morning… perhaps it had something to do with what was up there.

“Alright, I’m here,” called the wizard, finally showing up ten minutes late. “Don’t stare, I’m perfectly on time.”

“Sure,” Jimmy teased, causing the others to laugh.

“EY! Shut your mouth, elf.” The king rolled his eyes, frowning. “Just ‘cause you’re one of the heroes doesn’t mean you can talk shit about me.”

“Yes, your hi…highness. My apologies.” Jimmy didn’t look remorseful in the slightest.

With that quickly settled, the wizard opened the door, looking up into the tower. “Alright… be warned, this is a steep trek. You gonna be alright, elf?”

“I’m stronger than I l-look,” Jimmy corrected, pushing the king aside as he squeezed into the stairway. He immediately began to climb, making faster time than any of them could have.

“Hey, Jimmy, wait!” Token quickly began to climb after him, darting up the stairwell.

“Guess that leaves us,” Tweek sighed, beginning to lead the way. The Grand Wizard followed close behind as they all began to make the long ascent. With each agonizing step, Feldspar began to realize why the princess was always out of breath. Heading up and down the stairs for whatever she was up to must have been exhausting.

Finally, all of them reached the landing at the door to the room. Once everyone was gathered, the Grand Wizard began to speak, sounding incredibly winded.

“This is the room where I work on most of my magic. I keep all my spells and books here, out of reach.” He grabbed the handle of the door, swinging it open. “Hey- wait- Kenny? What are you doing up here?”

Everyone rushed to the door, looking inside to find a confused princess standing in the middle of the room. She let out a gasp, looking surprised. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Uncle Eric… I was just seeing if there was anything in here to help with my illness.”

The wizard shook his head, softening a little. “Sorry for scaring you… if you needed something, you should ask. It’s dangerous to be up here by yourself.” He walked over to her, taking her gently by one of her hands. The other seemed to be curled up tightly, as if she were holding something. “Why don’t you head downstairs, back to bed? I’ll bring you something later.”

“Yes, Uncle Eric. Sorry to disturb you.” She pulled her hand away, resting it on her forehead woozily. She began to leave the room, hand still balled up tightly and looking even greener than at breakfast.

Feldspar took note, staring at her the whole time as she began to descend. Something wasn’t right here…something wasn’t right at all.

The wizard reclaimed their attention with a cough. “Sorry about that…silly Kenny, always getting into things she shouldn’t. What a funny girl, she is.” He looked around the room, seeming troubled. “Hmm… it’s been forever since I was up here. It’s messier than I remembered.” A finger traced along a cauldron, looking rather dirty. “I’ll have to clean up after our little tour.”

He began to go over each of the magical items and books he possessed, explaining them each in painstaking detail. Token enthusiastically touched and held everything he could get his hands on, commenting how amazing they would be for his medicine and healing. Everyone else just groaned in boredom.

The tour slowly began to wind down as the wizard showed them the last of his items. Before they left, he grabbed a few herbs and threw them into one of the cauldrons, quickly fixing something up for Kenny (to Token’s extreme amusement). Finally, the party was escorted back down the stairs into the main hall of the castle.  The heroes thanked him for the tour and each went their separate ways, leaving Eric to his business.

As Tweek and Feldspar walked back down the hall, they passed the garden’s large, double doors.

“You sure you don’t want to tell me?” the barbarian asked, looked at his boyfriend.

“Nothing happened.” Feldspar just turned his gaze the other way.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the day had passed peacefully. Another large dinner was held in the dining hall. Kenny was still resting in her room, haven been given the Grand Wizard’s medicines. Clyde had also been sent to bed by Kyle, who insisted he was falling ill as well due his strange behavior.

Back in their room, Feldspar paced the floor, looking troubled. Tweek sat quietly on the bed, trying not to look too worried.

“I don’t understand what’s wrong, Craig,” he said softly, trying to coax him to come lie down. “Why don’t you just talk to me?”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I’m just…” He quickly thought of a lie. “I’m worried about the ceremony tomorrow.”

Tweek grimaced. “Don’t remind me of that.”

“Sorry.” With a sigh, Feldspar walked back to the bed, collapsing on top and crawling closer to the barbarian. “I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you…I know you’re struggling right now too.”

Tweek brought him into a tight embrace, huddling under the sheets. “I promise, it’s okay. I think…I think I’m starting to come to terms with it, you know?” Tweek brushed the dark hair from the thief’s forehead, kissing it softly. “Being here in the castle has started to help me move on. You were right… Douchebag is gone, and there’s nothing to be afraid of. Tomorrow is the ceremony, and although I really don’t want to go, we’ll get it over with and then we’re done, right? All of this will officially be behind us. We can move on from this chapter in our lives and just…” he trailed off, hazel eyes meeting blue. “It’ll just be us, okay? No more hero business.”

“No more hero business,” he echoed, although something in his gut warned him that it was far from over.

“Good. Now, let’s get some sleep.”

Feldspar whispered his goodnights before curling closer, taking slow, calming breaths. There was absolutely nothing to worry about, nothing at all…

Darkness surrounded him as he drifted, the sight making his heart pound. Here he went again- what would the strange presence say today?

But as he waited in the familiar darkness, nothing happened. Nobody grabbed him, nobody forced him to speak. It was just…silence.

His feet met a solid surface as he stopped floating. Finally, in this strange dream, he could perhaps walk around and escape the blackness. Determined, he began to move, unsure of where he was headed. Far in the distance there finally came a light, prompting him to begin to run. Finally, finally maybe there was escape…

The light got closer and closer until it enveloped him, forcing him to close his eyes in the sudden brightness. When he opened them, he found himself in a familiar garden, surrounded by roses.

“…why?” he asked himself, looking up to the sky. It was still pitch black like the familiar dream world, the void still threatening to envelop him once more. As he stepped along the hard stones of the pathway, he found himself venturing closer and closer to that secret spot the princess had shown him the previous night.

A sound suddenly startled him, causing the thief to dart behind a set of bushes, finding a hiding spot as a shadow loomed closer. He peered out to the path again to see the princess, still looking horribly green, far past the excuse of illness. She had covered herself in a thick cloak, holding tightly to a glass vile full of something equally sickening in color.

He curiously watched her walk along the path, stopping just before the mound of dirt. The flowers they had laid on the grave were still there, petals fluttering in the soft wind. She uncapped the strange container, kissed the glass, and turned it upside down, watching the mixture hit the soft dirt and absorb into the soil.

The ground began to shake as Feldspar reached to grab for anything to hold onto, unable to take his eyes away from the sight before him. The dirt began to part as a hand burst through, clawing its way out from the earth that imprisoned it. Little by little, the figure emerged, the familiar blue hood still pulled tightly around its head.

“Douchebag,” the princess said softly, voice cracking as though she were going to cry. The figure outstretched its arms, taking her into them.

“You’re looking rather sickly,” the hooded figure uttered, his ominous voice filling the entire garden.

“You know why,” she hissed, stepping back. “Everyone’s worried that something’s wrong. I told you, trying to hide this hasn’t been easy.”

“Then why did you tell that disgusting thief where you put me?” Douchebag snarled, clearly angry. “If you wanted to keep me a secret, you shouldn’t have told him.”

“I’m…I’m sorry.”

“At least you got this part of the job done correctly.” He pushed her aside, stretching his arms. “It feels so good to be back… a little empty, but back.”

“So…if you’re back, then can you tell me what your plan is now?” The princess looked at him pleadingly, almost upset. “You promised, Douchebag, you promised-“

“Patience, I’m getting there.” He silenced her with a wave of his hand. The princess fell silent, but looked hurt. The hooded figure stared into the garden as Feldspar tried not to make any noise, feeling faint. No, no, no…this couldn’t be real, this couldn’t be real! “Do you at least have the rest of the goods?”

“Y-yes, I do,” Kenny said softly, reaching into the cloak, pulling out a worn green book. “I stole the recipe from my uncle, and I have a supply I already brewed hiding in the forest outpost where we used to plan.”

“Good.” Douchebag took a deep breath, suddenly pausing. “Wait.”

Feldspar held his breath, heart pounding even faster.

“Someone is here.” Douchebag moved forward, tone almost… excited. “Someone’s peeping in on our little conversation, isn’t he?”

_Please, please, please…_

“I may have to give him another WARNING.” He stopped before a bush across from Feldspar, suddenly reaching out and grabbing something. The shrill, childish screams Feldspar had heard the night before could only belong to one person.

“You little _brat_.” Douchebag pulled Clyde into the open, holding him tightly by the throat. “You couldn’t just stay dead like you were _supposed to_ , could you?”

The boy screamed and squirmed, trying to get away.

“Now you dare come to me in your stupid dreams again, you dare spy on me!?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he sobbed, starting to tire and lose steam. “Please, please-“

“Don’t you utter a _word_ about this, understand?! If you even breathe a syllable about me, I will not hesitate to come back and _murder_ you _again_.”

With that, he threw Clyde aside, grabbing at his hood. He slowly lowered it, revealing his hundreds of flickering faces. They slowly turned until those terrifying, flashing eyes met Feldspar’s.

“That means you too, thief.”

Feldspar awoke with a terrified scream, panicking and flailing about.

“Holy fuck, what the hell!?” the barbarian gasped, suddenly awake. “Craig, Craig, stop!”

“He’s back! He’s back!” he cried, shoving Tweek away. Somewhere at the other end of the castle, he could make out someone else’s screams. Without another word, heart pounding, the thief jumped from the bed. He threw open the door to the bedroom and ran down the hall, confused voices calling out behind him. He had to get to Clyde, he had to get to him. Clyde had seen too, they had both seen…it had to be real. He had to check.

Faster than he had ever ran before, Feldspar reached the child king’s bedroom, throwing open the door to find Kyle and Eric already there.

“What the hell happened?!” the High Elf cried, eyes wide. Clyde was curled up in the corner of the room, hands holding tight to his throat as he screamed out again and again and again.

Feldspar was hardly able to breathe as he met his eyes, panicked. “Douchebag…Douchebag is back.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Feldspar…there had better be a good explanation for all of this.” The High Elf hadn’t moved from where he was standing, staring at the doorway where the thief had entered. His voice, though appearing calm, was shaky, sharp green eyes pulled impossibly wide.

Feldspar’s eyes darted to the floor, the sight of his former ruler curled up in fear sending him into near shock. The child king wasn’t moving besides his violent trembling, having gone from screams to quieter whimpers. His eyes were squeezed shut as he lay in a defensive position. It was clear that this was not the first time Douchebag had threatened him.

“Well?” The Grand Wizard wasted no time, voice still obnoxious and demanding despite his distressed undertone. “What the fuck happened?”

Feldspar swallowed his fear, taking a deep breath. “I saw…I saw him.” His eyes wandered back to Clyde. “He saw him.”

Kyle had moved from the center of the room over to where Clyde was curled up, attempting to comfort him. He had awkwardly pulled him into his lap, letting the boy hide in his robes like he had in the morning. “Clyde has nightmares all the time though, I don’t understand.”

“This time it was different. It wasn’t just a dream, it was real!” His voice unintentionally rose. “We were in the garden, the garden here at the castle. We saw Princess Kenny go into the roses, put something on Douchebag’s grave-“

“Douchebag’s grave? We didn’t bury Douchebag here,” Kyle interrupted, even more alarmed than before. His voice wavered again as he pulled his child closer, as if protecting him. “He’s not here!”

Clyde was suddenly shaking his head, still refusing to speak.

“Kenny showed me yesterday while we were in the garden. She buried Douchebag there so she could mourn over him.”

“You son of a bitch, you knew about this and you didn’t tell anyone?!” The wizard began to yell, voice echoing in the bedroom.

“Eric, stop,” Kyle warned, clearly distressed. “This isn’t the time for that!”

“He knew!”

 I didn’t… I didn’t think anything could happen!” Feldspar began to panic, eyes darting between the three of them. Suddenly another hand was on his shoulder, causing him to jump. Tweek had finally caught up to him after he had run from the bedroom. Following close behind were Jimmy and Token, calling out equally confused questions.

“Everyone calm down,” The High Elf demanded, the room falling into silence. “First things first, we need to check the fucking garden.”

“Can’t you just use your vision?” the wizard complained.

“I’m not in the best state right now, if you can’t tell,” he growled, glaring up at him. “I don’t trust my visions at the moment.”

“We’ll go,” Tweek offered sweetly, flashing his best smile. With that, he practically dragged Feldspar out of the room and into the hall. As soon as they were far enough away from the bedroom he spoke again, his tone threateningly low. “Craig, you have ten seconds to explain what the _fuck_ is going on here before I make good on my barbarian ways and _KILL YOU_.”

“Jesus, hold on,” he squeaked, “what’s your problem?”

“Oh I dunno, no reason other than _you’ve been keeping things from me_ and now suddenly Douchebag is back? That’s pretty damn suspicious!” Tweek rolled his eyes, tone incredibly sarcastic. “Start talking.”

He took a deep breath, and then let it all out. “Kenny showed me Douchebag’s grave in the garden where she buried him. I saw her leaving the spell room that very night. When I was sleeping, I went in this weird dream where I saw her in the garden with some sort of glass bottle, and when she poured it on his grave, he came back to life!”

Tweek didn’t say anything for a moment, an agitated expression on his face as they continued to hurry down the hallways towards the west end of the castle. “…and you really expect me to believe that load of shit.”

“Nonononononono, I swear! It’s true!” Feldspar attempted to explain himself. “She’s been doing something in the spell room over the last few days while we’ve been here. Everyone’s been too distracted with the guests and the ceremony to notice. She had some weird infatuation with him, she wanted him back, and now he’s here!”

There was no time for further questions as they arrived at the large double doors of the rose garden. They were already left open, fluttering back and forth in the wind of the courtyard.

“Well… _someone’s_ been here,” Tweek whispered, staring at it for a second, suddenly becoming anxious. He felt unprepared without his bow on hand.

“Come on, I’ll prove it.” Now it was Feldspar’s turn to lead, pulling the barbarian into the garden. As soon as they entered, it was clear something was wrong. Rose bushes were charred and wilted, many having been uprooted and strewn about the garden. All the statues around the fountain had been smashed into little pieces. In the middle of the mess lay a mound of disrupted dirt, the soil still fizzling with something green.

“Oh my god,” Tweek breathed, looking around. “What the hell happened?”

“By the looks of it, Douchebag was here.” Feldspar stopped before the mound, stooping down beside it to get a better look. “What exactly _is_ this stuff?”

“I’m no good with magic…” His eyes were still focused on the shattered statues. “We need to ask the wizard. If it’s from his spell room, he’ll probably be able to identify it.” He began to wander closer, examining the broken stone. Similar to the rose bushes, they were charred and shattered, as if someone had blasted them with something. Whatever it was, it sure didn’t smell pleasant.

“I guess.” The thief stood up, taking one last look around the garden. He couldn’t believe that just yesterday it had been a thing of beauty. Now, it was nothing but a graveyard of mass destruction.  “We’d better get back then. There’s nothing else to really look at, they aren’t here anymore.”

The two took hands and left, hurrying back to the bedroom where everyone else was waiting for their report. Token and Jimmy had moved to sit on the bed, the High Elf still holding Clyde on the floor. Everyone turned to look at them as they entered.

“Well?” Kyle looked up, a hopeful gleam in his eyes. Maybe, just maybe, this was just another nightmare.

Feldspar just shook his head. “The courtyard is completely destroyed. There’s still some remnants of whatever spell they cast on his grave but… there’s no doubt about it. Kenny and Douchebag are gone.”

His expression fell immediately, eyes dropping to the floor. “What are we going to do?” he asked softly, fingers brushing along his son’s hair. He had managed to fall back asleep, sobs faded to little hiccups. “The ceremony is tomorrow… Douchebag is out there somewhere, Clyde’s not fit to be seen by anyone right now, Kenny is missing…”

“Kyle,” the Grand Wizard sighed, his voice unusually forgiving.

“I can’t do this again, Eric. I can’t do another ten years of this.”

“We aren’t.” The wizard stooped beside him, a hand resting against his shoulder in comfort. “We’ll just…we’ll do the ceremony as planned, minus Kenny and Clyde. If we cancel it, people are going to get suspicious.”

“People are going to be suspicious if the children aren’t there,” Kyle corrected. “They’re going to know something is wrong. You always have Kenny with you during big events, and it would be weird for Clyde not to be there after we’ve finally reunited.”

“We’ll say that Kenny is back with my brother, and that Clyde is ill. You’re just overthinking it.”

Kyle took a deep breath, looking down at their child once more. “Okay… okay.” He looked up to the others, seeming more relaxed. “Everyone get back to bed. Tomorrow, we’ll have the ceremony as planned. Then, once it’s out of the way, we’ll resume the search and get _him_ taken care of before any more problems arise.”

“Yes, your highness,” chimed each of the four heroes, quickly nodding before heading back to their rooms.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Kyle whispered, now alone in the room with the wizard. He slowly stood up, carrying their child back to bed.

“It’s the best we can do.” Eric offered his best smile, helping pull the sheets aside so he could lay him down. “Besides… when have I ever been wrong?”

 

* * *

 

The next morning everyone awoke bright and early. Breakfast was held in the dining hall, which felt significantly emptier without the children and Kyle’s presence. He had refused to leave Clyde’s side all morning, the ex-Dark Lord still refusing to speak. Eric continued to insist that everything would be fine, but his usual confident demeanor was crumbling. His worry was incredibly clear.

After a tense breakfast, everyone returned to their rooms to dress and prepare themselves. Formal robes had been laid out on the beds, specially made for the event.

“I never liked these silly things,” Tweek teased, holding his up as he tried to lighten the mood. “I can’t show off my great muscles with a shirt on, right Craig?”

Feldspar didn’t say anything, hunched over on the bed.

“Craig?” He slowly lowered the robe, putting it back on the bed. “Hey… you haven’t spoken all morning.” The barbarian slowly climbed onto the bed, moving until his arms could be wrapped around his boyfriend. “I’m sorry I got upset last night, you know how I can get when I’m frustrated.”

“It’s not that,” he whispered, leaning so his head could rest against the barbarian’s pale frame, “I…I could have prevented all of this.”

“Well, you’re not wrong,” Tweek muttered, suddenly stopping himself. “I mean…Hey, it doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done. We just need to put on our best smiles and assure the kingdom that everything is okay right now. The last thing we need is a mass panic.”

Feldspar nodded, tilting his chin so he could kiss the barbarian’s cheek. “Okay,” he said softly, letting out a sigh. “Okay.”

The two exchanged a quick kiss before getting back to dressing. Their robes were just as elaborate as the ones given for their celebration back at the elven kingdom; soft, rich fabric in green and blue (respectively) was trimmed in gold and lace. Tweek decorated his skin in more intricate warpaint and pulled back his hair, even managing to brush Feldspar’s wild mop after a little coaxing. Finally, they were ready to head out.

“Oh, before we go…” Tweek walked back to their bags, pulling out his bow and setting it on his back.

“Why?”

“I…Just to be safe, you know?” Tweek gave a weak smile, seeming to tremble. “If anything happens, I want to be able to protect us.”

Feldspar nodded, moving closer. He quietly pointed to his boot where he had tucked his knife, the same fear sitting at the back of his mind. “Don’t worry… nothing will happen.”

Hands clasped tightly together, they exited the room to be greeted by a few familiar faces. The kings’ best men, Stan, Chris, and Butters, had gathered in the hallway. All three were dressed up in formal attire as well, Zaron’s crest worn proudly on the front of their tunics.

“Ah, Feldspar, Tweek, good to see you,” Chris said as he bowed, formal as always. “My Lord has already briefed us on what has happened with…him.” It was as if nobody wanted to actually say the name of their problem.

Stan quickly interjected. “He’s sent us to escort the four of you to the horses and then to the ceremony. You can be assured that you will be safe from harm.”

“Yeah, fellas, it’ll be great!” The third warrior, the paladin, broke the serious tone with his playful voice. “As soon as the others are ready, we’ll be headin’ out.”

Almost instantly, the two nearby doors opened, the equally decorated Token and Jimmy joining the group.

“Good morning,” Token said, nodding to each of the warriors. “It’s been a while since we’ve seen you.”

“We’ve been busy,” Stan admitted, shaking his head. “Funerals and burials left and right for the fallen troops during the wall battle… gathering the Dark Lord’s child army and returning them safely home… It’s not an easy job.”

“But we manage!” Butters added, smiling wide. “It’s an honor to finally get to meet these two. Working by their side sure is amazin’.”

Chris laughed, patting him on the head. “It amazes me how enthusiastic these newbies are. I’ve been by the High Elf’s side for nearly 500 years…it’s all old news to me now.”

“And I’ve been there for 700.” Stan shot him a look, frowning.

Jimmy just laughed. “Oh stop it; you’re making me feel y-y-young. Let’s just get going, shall w…we?”

Chris nodded, taking the lead. All seven of them made their way down the stairs and to the front gate of the castle where the horses had been prepared. The two kings were already on theirs, Kyle having begrudgingly left Clyde.

“I told you,” the wizard could be heard saying as they approached, “Scott is guarding the castle. Nothing bad is going to happen to him.”

“I know, I’m just paranoid. We’ve lost him once; I don’t want to lose him again, Eric.” His attention suddenly snapped to the approaching party, forcing himself to smile. “Ah, there you all are. We were waiting for you.”

Everyone quickly climbed onto their respective horses, the warriors taking the perimeter of their group as a form of protection.

“Hi, Stripe,” Feldspar giggled, patting their horse on the head. Tweek just rolled his eyes.

“Ready? Let’s go!” Chris called out, taking position at the front of the group. Feldspar couldn’t help but snort when he saw Stan roll his eyes. With that, they began to ride towards the center of the castle.

It didn’t take very long for them to arrive. The stage had already been set up for them, elven musicians filling time with their beautiful instruments. People were dancing all around, thousands of the kingdom’s villagers having shown up for the ceremony. Elves and humans were together in celebration for the first time in years.

“Everything is ready, my lords,” Stan said, gesturing to the festivities. “You can give your speeches up on the stage and then remove the first brick from the remaining walls. After that, we have a team to begin dismantling them for good.”

Despite the threat looming overhead, everything seemed to be going very well. The entire party felt a little more relaxed at the sight of such a happy crowd. The horses stopped just before the stage, letting their owners climb down and fix themselves up.

“Alright, let’s get this over with,” Kyle sighed, fixing his crown. “We just need to say the speech and- Tweek?”

“Yes?” Tweek followed his gaze until he realized the king was staring at his bow. “Oh, sorry, I… I was nervous…”

“It’s okay just…quickly, put that somewhere else, we can’t have people seeing you with that,” he said hurriedly, waving his hands. “They’ll be suspicious!” Tweek pulled the bow off his back, setting it by the horses.

“Calm _down_ , Kyle,” the Grand Wizard sighed, patting him on the shoulder. “Just get up there and do your speechy stuff. Get all prophecy-like and make it seem really good and then we’re done here, okay?”

The High Elf rolled his eyes, but quickly got back into character. With a deep breath he made his way onto the stage, thunderous applause echoing throughout the clearing. Everyone else followed behind, gathering around him on the stage as the villagers fell silent.

“Good morning, people of Zaron, elves and humans alike… I welcome you all to the ceremony.” Kyle smiled as another wave of thunderous applause shook the stage. “Today, we celebrate reunion; the reunion of our factions, the reunion of our families, the reunion of our kingdom. It has not been an easy ten years, but as of today, we will be broken no longer. We do not need to worry about the threats of war or power. For the first time in many years, we are safe; for the first time in many years, we are whole.”

His voice was calm and confident, despite his worried expression.

“Sadly, today, a few members of our court cannot be present.” His voice wavered slightly as confused faces looked up at him from the crowd. “Our…our son, Clyde h-has…has fallen ill.”

The Grand Wizard quickly interrupted, stepping forward. “Rest assured, he will be alright! There’s no need to worry. Now, uh, on to the ceremony!”

There was more applause, Kyle’s speech cut short. “I had more, you know,” his hissed.

“I just saved your ass, let’s get this over with,” the wizard replied, clenching his teeth into a wide smile.

Suddenly, a strange, out of place grumble began to come from somewhere beneath them. The applause stopped, confusion coming back to the faces of the crowd.

“What the hell?” Token asked, suddenly pointing to somewhere in the distance. “Hey, look!”

Just beyond the crowd of people floated a figure, its arms outstretched. Everyone watched in stunned silence as the arms rose, the grumbling only becoming louder.

“Eric, what the fuck is that?” the High Elf gasped, eyes darting to the other king.

“No fucking way!”

“What?!”

The crowd began to scream and run the other direction, fleeing to safety as the figure grew closer and closer. The dirt below them began to shift and move until the sight of grotesque, green hands shot up into the sunlight.

“Holy fuck!” Tweek screamed, darting off the stage to the safety of his bow. “Everyone get out of here!”

“No, wait, we’re s’posed to protect you, sir!” Butters shouted, running after him.

The figures continued to rise from the ground, becoming clearer and clearer. They were bodies, sickeningly green, forcing their way back into the world they once came from.

“Fight them off,” Stan shouted as he locked eyes with Chris, leaping down from the stage, swords out. They were gone from sight in an instant, swallowed up by a mass of green.

“Kyle,” came the wizard’s voice, shaking, “I know what she did.”

“You know what who did?”

“Kenny used a revival potion and now Douchebag has his hands on it!”

The army of undead seemed to be assembling, a familiarly dressed figure standing at the front. The Princess herself was leading the army, looking just as green and sickly as the ones coming from the ground. Somewhere in the crowd, Stan and Chris called out, retreating to somewhere behind the stage.

Tweek reached the ground, grabbing for his weapon. He felt just as clumsy as he was as a child, messily loading it as he stared into the crowd of faces. As he raised his bow to attack, he suddenly froze, eyes wide in shock.

Feldspar, having taken notice, let out a scream. “TWEEK, SHOOT! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!”

The Grand Wizard turned his attention back to the figure in the sky, a strange aura starting to surround it. His eyes widened, grabbing at his counterpart’s arm. “Kyle… Kyle, we need to take cover NOW!”

“TWEEK!” Feldspar screamed again, eyes darting back and forth between his partner and the kings.

“What is that?” Kyle asked, stepping back.

Tweek let out a choked sound as he stared at the undead’s face, arrow aimed straight between its eyes. He had to let go, he had to let go.  Everything was going to be over at this exact moment unless he let go.

A scream drew him back to reality as a hammer smashed into the face of the approaching creature, someone grabbing his arm and dragging him back behind the stage.

 _“This is your warning, Zaron,”_ a booming voice cried from somewhere above them. _“If you do not bring me the Stick in one weeks’ time, I will not hesitate to use my army to destroy you all. My hold on your precious son grows stronger by the day. If you do not do as I wish, he will be the first to join my…little army.”_

“Eric, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!” Kyle demanded again, the remaining people on the stage scrambling down to get behind it. The aura grew larger and larger, brighter and brighter.

 “Nagasaki,” the wizard breathed, staring up at the figure. He quickly grabbed Kyle by the arm, pulling him with him as he leapt to shelter with the others. Not a second later, a huge eruption rocked the area, causing everything to go black.

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Feldspar slowly opened his eyes, head aching. The remnants of a strange, ominous fog drifted around the area. It was dead silent other than the quiet breathing of the others around him, some awake, some still knocked out. How long was he unconscious? What happened? Where-

Tweek.

He suddenly awoke from his dazed state, heart pounding in his throat. His eyes darted to either side of himself until he spotted the barbarian. The paladin was on top of him as if he had pushed him down just before the attack.  Feldspar gasped, crawling over.

Butters sat up, breathing heavily. Woozily, he saluted Feldspar before collapsing back onto the ground, exhausted. “I did my job,” he wheezed, staring up to the grey sky.

The thief nodded before turning his attention back to his boyfriend. “Tweek,” he whispered, gathering the barbarian into his arms, “what the fuck happened?” Feldspar pulled him close to his chest, nearly in tears. “You scared the shit outta me, you could have died!”

“I’m sorry,” the blond whispered weakly, curling up into a little ball. His face was incredibly pale, body trembling. “I don’t know…”

“My Lord!” Stan was suddenly gasping, having now woken up. He quickly crawled over to his king, helping him sit up. One at a time, the rest began to rise, winded and aching. They sat quietly for a few minutes as they adjusted, afraid to speak.

Finally, the High Elf’s voice broke the silence.

“What…What happened?”

The Grand Wizard slowly shook his head, all eyes turning to him. “I never thought he would learn something that powerful, let alone use it.”

“Eric, what did he do?” The elf pressed again, sounding distressed.

“There once were people far to the south of our kingdom who have mastered a special kind of magic, one so powerful it could destroy entire villages in one strike.” He slowly looked up to the sky, watching the remaining magic dissipate. “One of the strongest moves was called the Nagasaki, almost too dangerous to be taught. The only ones who knew it were the monks, who would pass it down to their successors. It was rumored that their kind had died out hundreds of years ago, taking the knowledge of the Nagasaki with them… but it would appear we were wrong.”

“You mean…Douchebag found survivors and learned the skill?” Token asked, eyes wide.

“There’s no other explanation. I knew there were some small villages still out there, but to think one of them may still possess a surviving monk... it’s nearly impossible.” He paused, seeming to think. “With magic like that and an entire undead army at his bidding, there is no way we could possibly win.”

“So what are we going to do?” Kyle had found the fire in his voice again, speaking up. “He said we have seven days to give him the Stick, and we are _NOT_ doing that. We have to fight him somehow! Your niece, our son, our entire _kingdom_ is at stake!”

“There is only one way for us to fight back,” the wizard said, holding up a hand to silence him. “It looks like our heroes may have to embark on another journey.”

Feldspar felt his breath catch, eyes widening in alarm. “No! Nononononono. No. We aren’t doing this again.” He pulled the barbarian closer to his chest as if to protect him. “I promised Tweek that after the ceremony, we would go straight home to the barbarian village!”

“If you don’t go on this journey, Feldspar, there won’t be a village to return to,” the wizard hissed, angered. “The entire fate of this kingdom relies on you- all of you- to go south and seek out the surviving monk. You will learn the Nagasaki and return in time to destroy Douchebag once and for all.”

“But it’s nearly impossible!“ Feldspar shook his head. “Seven days to journey into an unknown kingdom, find someone we don’t even know is still alive, learn some magical skill and make it back in time to kill douchebag?”

“It’s our only shot!”

“Craig,” the barbarian suddenly whispered, still looking quite pale, “we have to… If we want any future together, we have to…” He let out a choked sound, eyes squeezing shut. “You promised me everything was going to be okay, we have to make everything okay…”

The thief closed his eyes, lowering his head until their foreheads touched. “Okay, okay,” he whispered, taking a deep breath. “Okay. We’ll do it.”

“We need to head back to the castle for supplies and planning immediately,” the high elf said, brushing off his robe as he stood. “There is no time to waste, we only have seven days.”

“Where the hell did the horses go anyway?” Chris grumbled, standing up and gravitating towards his king. Stan shot him a glance as the rest also stood, Feldspar still holding the shaken barbarian. Luckily they hadn’t wandered far, having taken shelter behind some buildings. They seemed well enough to ride.

All nine quickly mounted their respective horse, assuming the same positions as the trip to the ceremony. In no time at all they were on the ride again, rushing back to the main castle to discuss a plan. The pressure was on- every second that ticked by felt like a step closer to death.

 

* * *

 

The dining hall table felt unusually full as everyone gathered around it. All four heroes, the two kings, Stan, Chris, Butters and Scott were all sitting quietly, awaiting the plan. A crudely drawn map was laid out in the center of the table, marking some general areas.

“We don’t know much about the south,” Eric admitted, hands folded against the table. “There’s a large body of water just outside of the boundaries of Zaron that Kyle’s brother, the pirate king, keeps watch at. You’ll have to meet up with him to ensure safe crossing.”

“Even then, past those waters is mostly wild land. Nobody is sure who or what is lurking out there,” continued the elf. “You’ll need to make safe, quick travel through it until you reach what’s left of the villages. From there, it’s a matter of seeking the monk and learning what it takes to perform the Nagasaki.”

“I understand,” the barbarian said. He had managed to finally calm himself, looking a bit more confident. Despite this, there was still a hint of anxiety in his eyes.

“Tweek, Feldspar, Jimmy and Token will set out on the quest together, as they had before. Stan and Chris will accompany them to ensure their safety. We have very little time with much to lose; we can’t risk anyone getting hurt.” Kyle looked to each one in turn as he spoke.

“But, your highness,” Stan interjected, raising one of his hands, “shouldn’t we be here at the castle, protecting you?”

“There are more important things than I right now,” the king said calmly. “You will guard these travelers with your life, as you do mine. Besides, Scott and Butters will be here at the castle, so we will be safe.”

Stan lowered his hand and his head, eyes closed. “Yes, my lord. As you wish.” He sounded disappointed.

“We have servants packing the horses as we speak,” The Grand Wizard said. “You’ll head out immediately towards the water. The sooner you get there, the sooner you can cross…and the sooner you can get home.”

Everyone nodded, watching as Kyle pulled out a piece of paper from his robe. “Here, take this. It’s a letter to my brother. Find him at the bay and give it to him. He should let you aboard his ship and take you to the other side.”

Jimmy grabbed the paper, looking it over. “S-sounds good.”

“Jimmy, you’ll use your perception to help guide your group to finding the monk. It is very important you track him down quickly.”

“Yes, my lord.”

“Alright…everyone take the next ten minutes to prepare themselves and we’ll meet downstairs in the ballroom.”

Little by little, the dining hall emptied.

“Tweek, hey,” Feldspar said quickly, jogging until they were side by side, “do you wanna talk about what happened back at the ceremony? You haven’t spoken a word about it since we got back.” His voice was full of concern.

“I’m fine, was just a little issue.” The barbarian continued walking, unconcerned. “I just hesitated.”

“You never hesitate when you’ve got your bow. It’s not a little issue when you could have died.”

“Craig, I suggest you drop it,” he hissed, becoming annoyed.

“This isn’t about Douchebag again, is it? Are you still hung up about what he said?”

“I _said_ , drop it!” The barbarian stopped walking, turning on his heels to face the thief. “It is FINE. We are going on this damn trip, we are learning that damn spell, and we are coming back victorious! If we die, we’ll never get to-“

“Get to what?” Feldspar interrupted, looking confused.

“Nothing.” The barbarian’s face flushed, eyes squeezing shut. “Come on, let’s just get upstairs and change out of these ceremony robes.” His expression softened as he grabbed for Feldspar’s hand, sighing. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. There’s a lot going on right now, you’re frustrated. I’m frustrated.” Feldspar let out a sigh of his own. “I’m scared.”

The barbarian swallowed his pride, meeting his eyes. “Me too.”

 

* * *

 

Ten minutes later, the entire party met back downstairs in the ballroom. Everyone had changed out of their formal attire into their more practical outfits. The horses were packed with supplies, waiting outside in the stables.

“Where’s the High Elf?” Stan asked, noticing that he was the only one missing.

“He’s upstairs with Clyde again. He’s afraid Douchebag will make good on his word to hurt him.” The Grand Wizard would have usually continued to poke fun at him for this, but he sounded too concerned. “Who knows what he’s doing now.”

“He’s probably off plotting something with the princess,” Chris grumbled. “They’ve got a whole army to attack the kingdom with- are you sure you’ll be alright without us?”

“I’ll do some more research on the spell he used… unfortunately, someone stole the book the potion came from, so I’m going to have to do this blind,” Eric sighed. “We’ll be fine, though, don’t worry. Your concern is finding that monk so we can protect Zaron.”

“You have our word, my lord.” Chris bowed, and then turned to the others. “Come on, we don’t have any time to waste. It’s already the middle of the afternoon.” With that, he led the way out the doors and into the bright sunlight.

“How come he gets to lead the way?” Stan whined, arms crossed. “I could do a perfectly good job.” The four heroes couldn’t help but laugh. Horses were mounted with the two warriors positioned at the front, and they were off towards the south end of the kingdom.

“We’ll be passing through the elven territory to get to the bay,” Chris called, horses moving swiftly away from the castle. “The Grand Wizard has already sent a carrier raven to them, letting them know what has happened. They’ll have the gate out of Zaron open for us.”

“Then we j-j-just need to get to the bay and give the l-letter to the king’s b…brother,” Jimmy said. He was holding onto it, the paper safely stored with his lute.

“I didn’t even know the king had a brother,” Token said, confused. “I mean, I kinda knew about the Grand Wizard having a half-brother because of Kenny, but who exactly is this pirate anyway?”

“He’s not related by blood,” Stan explained. “He’s his adoptive brother. He came from south where the monks lived, but after a terrible disaster that wiped most of them out, many of the surviving children were sent to Zaron in order to protect them.”

“Didn’t he say that was hundreds of years ago though?”

“The High Elf, keep in mind, is nearly a thousand years old. Elves live very, very long lives. The people of the south have a lifespan about the same as a human, so his brother should be long gone. However…” Stan trailed off, voice dropping a little lower. With the speed they were moving at on the horses, he was nearly inaudible. “…It’s rumored that the pirate king discovered the fountain of youth during one of his many voyages across the sea. He and his crew never grow any older. They’re all still a bunch of children.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” the cleric said, not seeming too convinced.

“You’ll be seeing it soon enough,” Chris interrupted, looking ahead. They were already nearing the divide into the elven faction.

Feldspar’s eyes wandered up to the canopy as they hit the dense trees. He could just make out the shape of elven warriors peering down at them from above. “You’re still keeping watch up there?”

“Of course,” Chris said, noticing where he was looking. “We can never be too safe.”

Everyone fell back into silence as they rode a while longer, the forest of trees feeling never-ending. The familiar sight of the tree castle was soon just in the distance. They were nearing the edge of the forest, and in turn, Zaron.

“Halt,” Chris called out, everyone slowing their horses. “Let’s take a quick break, let the horses rest. Eat and drink, all of you. Keep your strength up. We’ll be on the move in ten minutes.” Stan shot him a glance, seeming annoyed by his commands. Everyone climbed off their horses and grabbed for their supplies, doing as they were told.

“You ready to talk yet?” Feldspar asked, standing beside the barbarian.

“Talk about what? I thought we were done with this.” Tweek shoved a handful of nuts into his mouth before gulping down some water. “I don’t have anything to talk about.”

“Maybe if you didn’t bottle everything up all the time, you’d be feeling a little less pissy.” He gave him a little poke, a sympathetic smile on his face.

“That’s enough.” Tweek put away the supplies, climbing back onto the horse. “Let’s go, we need to get traveling again. We need to reach the bay by nightfall.”

Feldspar frowned, but climbed on with him anyway. With Chris at the front of the group, they set off again towards the large tree and the boarder. He couldn’t help but wonder what had Tweek so upset.

The sun was low in the sky by the time they reached the gate. It was already open, allowing them to ride right through it. Feldspar turned back to look as they traveled farther and farther away from the kingdom. This was it- they were in the southern territory now.

“It won’t be much longer until we reach the bay,” Chris said, looking to the sky. “It’s a good thing, too. The sun is setting.”

“With any l-luck, the pirate king will sail through the ni…night,” Jimmy commented. “Otherwise we’ll be wasting t-time.”

“Look!” Token said suddenly, pointing ahead. “I can see it!”

The bay was finally just within sight, a large wooden ship anchored just at the edge.

“Holy shit, is that it? The boat is huge!” Feldspar couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “That will get us across the water in no time!”

“We just need to convince him to let us on the boat,” Chris said. “Jimmy, do you have the letter?”

“Right here,” he said, holding it up.

“Good. He doesn’t take too kindly to strangers, so have that ready. He won’t believe us without it.”

The six rode up to the bay, stopping the horses just at the edge of the water. The ship was even bigger up close. With a deep breath, Chris called out. “HEY!”

“WHO’S THERE?” a voice called back. It was high pitched and childish, but had the confidence of a grown man. A little head was suddenly peeking over the edge of the boat, staring down at them.

Feldspar gasped, staring right back up at him. He had never seen someone with such strange features before. The boy’s mouth was long and thin, eyes seeming much too small in proportion to the rest of his face. He was indeed very young, just as Stan had said.

“Well I’ll be darned,” Token whispered, eyes wide.

“Your brother has sent us to you,” Chris informed him. “We have brought you his word so that you will let us aboard.” To prove it, he motioned to Jimmy, who held up the piece of paper.

“Lemme see that,” the pirate answered, little face disappearing from the ship. It took no time at all for a board to be lowered so he could climb down to the horses. His body matched the youngness of his face, just barely three feet tall. “Gimmie the letter,” he demanded, stopping just before the horses. Jimmy carefully bent down, placing it in his small hands.

The boy cleared his throat and began to read it out loud. “Dear Ike, I hope you and your crew are doing well. Zaron is in deep trouble, threatened by a powerful being that will surely destroy us unless we destroy him first. My six best heroes need safe travel to the other side of the water, so they can continue to journey south to your homeland. There, they hope to find one of the last surviving monks and learn the Nagasaki. I depend on you to help us- we only have seven days until we will be attacked.” The boy paused, reading the next part silently to himself. He began to laugh, reading it for the rest of them to hear. “Also, you should come visit the castle sometime, before I come out to the water and drag your ass here myself. Your brother, Kyle, The High Elf.”

“So…” Chris said slowly, looking at the child, “will you help us cross?”

“That’s my brother’s letter, that’s for sure.” The little pirate king looked like he was thinking. “Southern territory is dangerous. Nobody has really traveled there in a long time.”

“We know.”

His eyes drifted to the sky, which was starting to darken. “Looks like you’re at the end of day one.” With a sigh, he waved his hand. “You can put the horses in the space under the boat, we have lots of room there for them to rest. Come on, hurry up, if you want to get there by morning we need to sail out now.”

“Thank you,” Chris breathed, seeming relieved. Everyone quickly dismounted their horses, bringing them up the plank and onto the boat. Ike led the way to another hatch, taking them down the underside of the ship. There were tons of boxes of food and jewels, and plenty of space for the horses as promised. Several equally small children were all over the deck and the storage, going about their work.

“My crew may seem small, but if you dare get into a fight with us, we can easily slit your throat,” Ike commented, loving the look of horror on his guest’s faces. “Hah, don’t worry though. My brother sent ya, so there won’t be any of that today.” Once the horses were situated, he brought them all back up to the top deck.

“There’s a room next to the captain’s quarters that will be yours for the night. It’s a bit small for all of you to fit, but it’ll have to make do.” The pirate led them to it, opening the door. It would be a bit cramped, but better than nothing. “You all should rest. It’s getting dark and you need your strength for tomorrow.”

“Thank you for your kindness,” Chris said calmly, entering the room. It was completely empty save for a few blankets on the floor. “This will do perfectly.”

The pirate left them to their business as all the heroes laid down on the floor, getting themselves situated. The boat began to rock as it was prepared to set sail.

Feldspar and Tweek took the far corner of the room, curling close together. As they had on the first night they’d spent together, the thief wrapped his cloak around the two of them to keep warm.

“One day down,” he breathed, kissing the barbarian’s cheek, starting to fall asleep, “six more to go.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

The hideout wasn’t far from the castle; it was just a tree fort they had built years ago after Douchebag’s original return. For a while it had been his home in hiding, but now it would be a place for them both to share.

The princess sat on the bed, gloveless hands folded neatly in her lap. She couldn’t help but stare at them and marvel at how rapidly she had changed. Her skin was growing sicklier by the day, the green color looking more and more like the skin of the bodies they had pulled from the ground. She imagined Douchebag would look the same if she could see his face.

The hooded man stood across the room from her, still not saying a word. He had been quiet since the warning, seeming content while lost in his own thoughts.

“He lit three candles,” Douchebag suddenly said, breaking the silence. His voice was hardly a whisper, but it managed to echo through the entire room.

The princess looked up, confused.

Douchebag smiled from somewhere within the darkness of his oversized cloak, a low laugh coming from his rotting lips. “Golden candle holders…I would expect no less from the king.”

“What are you doing?” she asked softly, but she already knew. He was having visions, looking at what the others were doing.

“He’s just sitting there now, by the bed. Poor, worried elf… he’s too old to be stressing this much about his kingdom. He’s too old to be stressing about his… _little son_.” He laughed again, a gloved, open hand sliding out from under his cape. He slowly closed it into a fist, enjoying the feeling of crushing the boy’s throat, of hearing him choke in pain, of hearing the king cry out in worry. The Grand Wizard had joined them now, throwing open the door, seeming equally alarmed.

“They’re refusing to give me the Stick. They think they can fight back…it’s rather amusing.” He let his hand fall open again, watching as the child threw his arms around the High Elf. They held tightly to each other, the king whispering softly to him as the boy cried. The wizard sat down beside them, the three soothing each other in near silence. “For people so concerned about the fate of their kingdom and their family…they seem complacent to leave the fight to such ordinary people.”

“What are they planning?” Kenny asked, tilting her head. “You already told them what would happen if they didn’t give it to us- I mean, you.” She bit her lip, looking down.

“The barbarian and the thief have left on another quest.” Douchebag lowered his head, seeming to think. “The damn bard has hidden the group again from my sight, but I sense they are somewhere south of the kingdom. They’re trying to find the monks. How pathetic. People like them could never learn the magic I possess.”

His attention turned back to the kings, the sight of them so distraught amusing him. The elf was kissing the boy’s forehead, whispering softly in his ear that everything would be okay, that there was nothing to be afraid of.

Douchebag’s hand twitched, resisting crushing Clyde’s throat right then and there to prove them wrong. “I could kill the boy,” he said calmly, as if it was no big deal.

“Douchebag?” Kenny sounded frightened. “Please… Don’t hurt Clyde, none of this is his fault-“

“Be quiet,” he hissed, his voice full of venom.

Kenny fell silent.

“I won’t hurt him unless they don’t give me what I want. Besides…” He let out another laugh, eyes widening. “Killing him now would ruin the fun.”

 

* * *

 

The boat jostled as it hit land, waking Feldspar from his oddly dreamless sleep. He took a moment to adjust, remembering where he was. The sight of the little room on the boat and the barbarian sleeping soundly in his arms helped bring him back to reality- he was here on another quest, soon to head out again.

“Tweek?” he whispered, nudging the blond. “Hey, wake up…”

Hazel eyes slowly blinked open, a tiny smile appearing on his face. “Morning…”

“Hey, you wanna come sit on the deck with me for a while? We still have a bit until we head out.” He kissed his nose, hoping to spend a little quality time before the possible end of the world.

“Mmm… that sounds nice.” The barbarian rolled over, climbing out of Feldspar’s cape and offering him a hand. They carefully tiptoed around the other sleeping men, making their way to the door and out onto the deck. All the pirate children were preparing their horses, feeding them and brushing them off.

They found a nice spot to sit near the far end of the boat, overlooking the water. The sun was just starting to raise, a soft ocean breeze tickling their cold noses.

“Day two,” Feldspar whispered, wrapping them up in his cape again, “day two.”

“What a beautiful way to start the day,” Tweek whispered back, cuddling close. “Remember how we’d watch the sunrise back at the barbarian village?”

Feldspar nodded, sighing contently. “I’d watch it every day with you if I could, forever and ever.”

“Someday… we will. I promise.” Tweek smiled, eyes seeming almost misty as he stared at the soft colors in the sky. Their fingers entangled together, hands gripped tight, enjoying the moment of peace; they knew it wouldn’t last forever.

Soon enough, the rest of their quest-mates were beginning to wake up, joining them on the deck. If there hadn’t been such pressure to get moving, Feldspar would have liked to sit and watch the sky for a while longer.  Food and changes of clothes were grabbed from the supply bags, leading to a quick breakfast and clean up. When everyone was ready, the crew brought the horses down the ramp to the land, gathering to say goodbye.

“We thank you very much for your hospitality,” Chris said to Ike, offering his hand. “We will put good word in to the king for your help.”

“It’s the least I can do for my brother,” the pirate laughed, taking the hand and shaking it. “Good luck on your journey. You sure are brave heading out there; I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

With that, the group climbed onto their horses, riding off into the unknown southern wilderness. The children waved to them until they were out of sight of the ship.

The sense of danger didn’t set in until they were alone.

“These w-woods are strange,” Jimmy said suddenly, eyes trailing up to the canopy. “I’ve never s-s-seen trees like these b-before.”

“It’s different, that’s for sure… what about possible dangers? See anything?” Token asked.

“Nothing yet,” the bard admitted. “Nobody is n…nearby.” He stopped looking in the trees, focusing back on the path before them. “No sign of the v-villages either.”

“Damn,” Stan sighed. “This is gonna take a while, isn’t it?”

“Relax,” Chris scolded him, “don’t be so impatient when our lives and our kingdom are on the line. We’ll travel through the day and hopefully reach somewhere by nightfall.”

Stan fell silent, seeming annoyed by Chris taking the lead again.

“Come on, cheer up, this will all be over soon,” Feldspar offered, trying to lighten the mood. “We’ll be back home and safe before we know it.”

“Oh, you naïve little child,” Chris laughed, “I wish I could be as innocent and wishful as you are.”

A few hours passed full of some small talk and joking, the canopy of trees never seeming to alter. It went on forever with no sight of any life.

“Halt,” Chris called, stopping the horses again. “Come on, break time.”

“The king said we need to move quickly through here,” Feldspar said quickly, a bit alarmed. “We can’t stop now, what if we get attacked?”

“I’m sensing it’s all clear. We won’t stop long, the horses just need to rest a bit.”

“But-“

“Tired horses mean a smaller chance of escape during an actual problem. I’ll give you all ten minutes.” Chris dropped it there, getting off his horse and grabbing for the supply bag for a snack.

“Eugh,” the thief grumbled, climbing down from his ‘Stripe’. Tweek followed after, patting him on the arm.

“Come on now, Craig…He’s right. We need to be smart about this. Just drink some water and relax, we’ve been riding for a while. We need a break too.”

He finally gave in, moving around for his own supply bag and grabbing a flask of water. He took a few sips, deep breaths forcing him to calm his anxieties. He couldn’t help but feel like he was being watched from somewhere in those thick trees.

“Jimmy,” he said suddenly, “are you sure you don’t sense anyone? Nobody at all?”

The bard looked over, closing his eyes. “I…I don’t t-think so. Come on, don’t be so p…paranoid.”

The thief looked back up to the treetops, squinting. Somewhere up there, something shifted.

“Run,” he whispered, hand resting against his horse.

“What?”

“RUN!”

As soon as he had spoken, voices began to yell, bodies flinging themselves down from the branches. They moved far too quickly to identify, moving in quick circles around the group to confuse them. Feldspar reached for his horse, but he was too slow. The attackers outnumbered the group and were already upon them, weapons drawn.

“Fight back!” Chris was shouting, but someone was already jumping him, pinning him to the ground. His sword went flying from his hand, sliding across the dirt.

It wasn’t long until Feldspar met the same fate, an attacker tackling him down. The blunt end of a sword hit him hard at the back of the head, and he was out like a light.

 

* * *

 

Feldspar’s eyes fluttered open, the bright sunlight causing his head to ache. What happened? Where was he? His wrists were trapped with rope behind his back, ankles being restrained in a similar fashion.

“Fuck,” he muttered, looking to either side of himself. It appeared the whole group had met a similar fate as they were tied up, semi-unconscious, in a little group. The woods looked the same as ever, making it hard to tell if they had been moved.

“Craig, are you awake?”

He turned to find Tweek across from him, managing to sit up a bit. “Yeah, I’m fine…where are we?”

“I don’t know,” the barbarian whispered, looking around. “I just hope we aren’t too far off the path.”

“Come here, I’ll get your ropes. Let’s get out of here,” Feldspar told him, shifting the best he could. The barbarian scooted closer until they were back to back, fingers able to reach their binds. Feldspar fiddled with them for a moment, trying to figure out the knot.

“Any luck?”

“I can’t get it out,” he grunted, “who the fuck ties something this complicated?”

“Someone who doesn’t want their captives to escape.”

Feldspar jumped at the new voice, eyes darting up to see who it had come from. Before him stood a tall woman, her dark hair fluttering in the light breeze. She had beautiful, handcrafted armor covering her body, sword in hand, a helmet held tightly under her other arm.

“Holy shit,” he muttered, instantly curling in defense. “I’m s-sorry, we were just-“

“Silence,” she said, a few other women coming over and standing beside her. The one to the left had long, curly blonde hair, while the one on the right had red.

“What are we gonna do about them?” the redhead asked. She sported a similar armor, although not quite as fancy as the one Feldspar assumed was the leader.

The others around him were slowly waking up, looking just as frightened and confused.

“Please, miss,” Chris offered, trying not to sound scared, “we mean you no harm, we were just passing through.”

“You? Harm me?” She burst out laughing, shaking her head at him. “You think you’re threatening?”

“I’ll have you know,” the warrior continued calmly, seeming a bit offended, “our group is comprised of the High Elf of Zaron’s two best warriors and a barbarian.”

She scoffed. “All I see are two weaklings and a scrawny blond in shoddy warpaint.”

Tweek growled at the comment, eyes flashing dangerously. “And who the fuck are you, then?” he hissed.

She smiled, seeming amused. “I am Wendy, leader of the sparkleclan.”

Tweek snorted, unable to help his laughter. “Oh yeah, sparkleclan…real threatening.”

Wendy leaned closer with her sword extended, eyes meeting his as she spoke in a chilling whisper. “I _am_ your worst nightmare, do you understand? Your death will be very painful if you insult me again.”

With that, the barbarian shut his mouth, intimidated.

“That goes for all of you,” she continued, standing up and looking at each of them in turn, “I would suggest taking me and my girls seriously. We are the strongest in the south, stronger than all of you combined-”

“Enough of your bragging,” Feldspar interrupted despite her threats, “what do you intend to do with us?”

She laughed again, turning to the blonde woman. “You hear that, Bebe? He wants to know about our plans!”

The two girls laughed along with her, leaving the group’s imaginations to run wild.

“Well, we were just going to kill you for trespassing, but you’re just _so_ entertaining…” She paused, thinking. “You think you’re so tough? Fine then, how about a little wager. One of you can go against me in a duel. If you win, I’ll let you all go free and grant you safe passage through my woods. If you lose…” she drew her finger across her throat, teeth bared. “Got it?”

They all nodded quickly, understanding she was serious. With that, she and the other two girls walked away, giving them time to prepare.

“Jeez, who’s gonna do it?” Token whispered. “Not me, I couldn’t ever beat her!”

“Not me e-e-either,” Jimmy agreed, “my lute can only do so much.”

“I’ll do it,” Tweek offered, but his voice wavered.

“No, you won’t, you couldn’t even shoot a zombie,” Feldspar said, clearly against the idea. “You’ll get us all killed for sure.”

“That leaves the warriors then,” Tweek sighed, looking at Stan and Chris. “Which one of you fuckers are gonna do your job?”

Chris had dropped his confident façade, slowly turning to Stan. “I mean…you’re the one who…um…”

“Fine,” Stan sighed, looking determined, “I’ll do it, you coward. Besides, I always did love a lady who could kick my ass.”

A few minutes later, Wendy returned. She commanded the warrior be untied and his sword returned, looking amused. As soon as he was situated, the two stood face to face in the middle of the clearing, ready to begin. The heroes looked on in worry as the girls gathered around, excited.

“Come on Stan, let’s hope 700 years of training did you some good,” Chris whispered, scooting closer so he could see better. “We’re counting on you, asshole.”

“Are you ready?” Wendy called, loud enough for all to hear. The girls erupted into cheers as she raised her own sword, grinning.

Stan gripped his in both hands, standing a considerable distance away. He held it up to the sky, mimicking her. “For Zaron!”

With that, the two ran at each other, swords clashing immediately. Wendy let out a shout with each strike, skillfully moving around him in attempt to find an opening. To his luck, Stan was managing to keep up the offensive, trying figure out her weak spot.

“You think you’re pretty cute, don’t you?” Wendy grunted, twisting and trying to hit one of his legs only to be blocked. “You’re just drawing out the time you have left.”

“You can kill me any day, baby,” the elf muttered, attempting to get a strike in only to be blocked.

“Then lay down your weapon,” she laughed, going for his head before he ducked.

“Unfortunately, I have a duty to my king.” He swung around again, barely missing her, starting to figure out her patterns. “How about we both put our weapons down and call it good?”

“I’d never back down from a fight,” she said, swinging again. He was able to block her fairly quickly this time, much to her surprise. “I’ll admit you’re good...what a shame I have to kill you.”

They both took a step back, walking in slow circles. The tension was high, all the onlookers stuck in a state of stunned silence.

Out of nowhere, Wendy cartwheeled, raising her sword. Before she could strike him in the back, the elf twisted, dropping to his knee. His other leg extended, kicking her shin, knocking her back onto the ground. Her reaction time was quick though as she rolled out of the way of his sword, grabbing one of his arms and flipping him hard into the dirt.

“FUCK, STAN, YOU GODDAMN WIMP,” Chris screamed from the sidelines, “THE KING WOULD BE SO EMBARASSED!”

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH, I’M TRYING MY BEST!” he shouted back, scrambling to his feet. He leapt at Wendy again, tackling her to the ground. They rolled, each trying to get the upper hand. Stan managed to get on top, raising his sword high above his head, ready for a final blow when the girl slid away, the sword just barely marking her helmet.

“Last chance,” she grunted, both of them back to swinging their swords. “I don’t give up! I’d die before I lost to you!”

Stan distracted her with a quick swing before using his free hand to grab her arm, throwing them both to the ground again. He had her pinned, nowhere to escape. “Looks like you’re going to die, then.”

She closed her eyes, accepting her defeat. “Aye…it looks like I’ve failed.”

Stan froze, staring down at her. He had raised his sword, but he just couldn’t bring it down on her. “We… we don’t have to do this.”

Her eyes opened again, shocked. “You…you aren’t going to kill me?”

“I can’t.” He threw his weapon aside, looking down at her with his arm outstretched in truce.

With a shout she grabbed the outstretched arm, flipping him off of her so she was on top, sword poised to kill. She glared down at his terrified face, breathing heavily. The warrior closed his eyes and turned his head, prepared to die.

The clatter of a sword caused them to fly back open, looking up at the woman he had bet his life against. She had dropped her weapon, refusing to make eye contact. “Untie them,” she said loudly, her voice completely monotone. “Let them free.” Without another word she climbed off the warrior, walking away.

Stan slowly sat up, watching her go. In no time the others were released from their ropes, joining him by his side.

“Jeez, Stan, you almost died,” Chris scolded, seeming upset. “But…I guess you did save us…” The smallest smile appeared on his face as he patted the other warrior on the shoulder. “Good job.”

Stan smiled back, eyes drifting to where the Wendy had left.

“Stan?”

“I…I gotta go talk to her,” he said, gravitating away from the group. Despite their puzzled expressions, they let him go.

 Stan wandered into the crowd of girls and out of the clearing, looking around until he found her sitting at the base of a tree. She was curled up, head in her arms.

“Hey,” he said softly, sitting beside her, “you okay?”

She lifted her head, glaring at him again. “Here to gloat?”

“No, not at all.” He shifted closer, hesitantly resting a hand on her shoulder.

“Why didn’t you kill me? To anyone else, my head would be a mighty fine prize. You could bring it back to wherever you came from and prove yourself, you know.”

“I…I respect you,” he said slowly, trying to offer some comfort. “Your life is worth more to me than my honor.”

“You shouldn’t have been so kind. I’d rather have just died with what little dignity I had left,” she scoffed, gently punching him in the shoulder. Despite her harsh words, the smile had returned to her face. “Listen…I’m sorry for kidnapping you and your group. I’ll help you get to the nearest village in return for sparing my life.”

“I’d appreciate that,” he laughed, giving a little punch back. “We’d probably better get moving then…we only have 5 more days come nightfall.”

She nodded, eyes drifting to the sky. “I’d suggest you rest here for the night. It’s dangerous to go any further at this time of day. I promise I will get you safely there tomorrow.”

The two stood, wandering back to the clearing to inform the clan and the heroes of their truce. As the sky darkened above them, a grand fire was built in the center where songs and food were exchanged.

As the second day came to a close the two victors, enemies turned friends, fell asleep with their hands clasped together.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey yall sorry for the long wait im a piece of shit,,,,  
> anyway please enjoy hopefully i'll start rolling out chapters sooner again <3 thanks for reading!!!

One candle was left standing, the other two long out of wax to burn. A soft voice echoed through the halls of the castle for all to hear, but it was made for only one set of ears. The young king lay in his bed, still silent, still in pain.

He was slowly dying, and the High Elf knew that no amount of song could save him.

His enchanting voice cracked slightly when he felt his only child reach for his hand, grasping it tightly as if he were begging for help. The boy had tasted death once before, and Kyle knew deep down that if Douchebag got what he wanted, there would be no magical Stick to bring him back this time.

“Kyle,” called another voice from the doorway of the bedroom, causing him to pause in his song. The Grand Wizard stood there, door slightly agape, just his face peering inside.

“Eric,” he whispered back, shaking his head, “I told you, I’m-“

“Please, give it a rest. You can’t stay cooped up in here forever. We only have five days until our time is up- we need to be preparing for when the heroes return.”

“If they don’t return, our child is...he’s…” The High Elf trailed off, trying to keep his emotions at bay. Deep inside, a hateful fire was burning for the man who threatened his family and his kingdom. “I can’t leave him, I have to try to keep him alive.”

“Your songs aren’t going to prevent anything, and you know that. Douchebag is much stronger than both of us combined.” The Wizard kept his voice soft and calm, which partially alarmed his counterpart. It was rare that he was able to control his temper and need of vengeance.

“But if something were to happen, I want to be right here.” He nodded, a firm, determined expression on his face. “Douchebag can try all he wants, but he won’t take Clyde again if I have any say in it.”

Right on cue, as if he were listening, Clyde let out a sharp cry, hands going to his throat.

“DAMN YOU!” the king screamed, muttering elvish curses under his breath as he moved to comfort his child. “Damn you…”

He swore he could hear the sound of a familiar laugh in the air.

 

* * *

 

 

Feldspar awoke to the familiar sight of his lover curled tightly in his arms, his cape wrapped warmly around them. Tweek was bundled tightly, his unruly blond hair the only thing the thief could see. It took a moment for him to recognize they were still in the warrior’s camp.

“Day three,” came a whisper from the bundle of fluff as it rolled over, revealing the familiar war-painted face.

“We don’t have much time,” Feldspar whispered back, pressing a quick kiss to his boyfriend’s nose. He rubbed at his eyes lazily, still exhausted. He had barely slept that night. “The sun is already rising and we still haven’t found a single village.”

Tweek nodded, rubbing at his eyes. “Go wake the others then. The sooner we get going, the better.” He untangled himself from the thief’s limbs and cape, rolling into the dirt of the campsite and carefully wobbling onto his feet. He took a deep breath, stretched his arms, and went on his way.

“You’re gonna leave it all to me, huh?” Feldspar said softly, shaking his head as Tweek went the entirely wrong direction of the camp. “Selfish.” He chuckled to himself before unwrapping himself from the makeshift blanket, stretching and following suit.

He wandered over to their discarded bags, grabbing an empty canteen and the dagger from his boot. Much to the annoyance of everyone that was still asleep, he began to parade around the clearing, banging them together and making as much noise as possible.

“Feldspar, can you be any more obnoxious?” Token grumbled, clearly in a bad mood.

“Hey, you should be lucky it’s just me,” the thief shouted over his banging, “You don’t wanna witness a barbarian wake up call.”

Token shrugged in surrender, carefully climbing out of his own blankets. In no time at all, the rest of the camp was wide awake and preparing for departure.

The questers gathered by their horses with Wendy, ready to discuss the plans. She began to draw lines in the dirt with her sword, plotting their course.

“There’s a decent path up this direction towards the closest village. It’s one of the few left after the disaster- I bet you if your monk is anywhere, he’s there.” She pointed to a spot she had drawn. “It’s not too far from here, maybe half a day’s ride if we make good time.”

Chris nodded, holding out his hand to her, clearly trying to hide displeasure. “Our fate is in your hands. Thank you for leading us and allowing us safe passage.”

Wendy took it, smiling. “It’s the least I can do. Besides, I’m kinda curious to see a living monk myself…if you don’t mind, I’d like to go into the village with you.”

“Of course!” Stan offered quickly, preventing anyone else from contributing an opinion. “Absolutely. Come with us to the village and maybe the monk will have something for you, too.”

She grinned even wider, shaking Chris’ hand one last time before turning to head the front of the group.

“You goddamn asshole,” Chris grumbled as soon as she was out of earshot, shoving Stan as hard as he could. “Now we got a seventh member in tow. You better hope she doesn’t slow us down.”

“She won’t,” he hissed back, heading to his horse. “Just because you’re afraid to take the back seat in a mission for once doesn’t mean she can’t do a good job leading us.”

Chris just gawked at him before biting his lip.

Stan couldn’t help but giggle.

Two minutes later, the horses were loaded and everyone was ready to ride. Feldspar clung tightly to Tweek, anxious to get moving. If it was day three, there were only four days left to find the village, learn the Nagasaki and get back home… he couldn’t help but feel like they were going to run out of time.

They began to move quickly through the forest once more, Wendy leading them through her territory and out towards the village.

“Hey, Craig… these trees are nice,” Tweek whispered in an attempt to soothe him, sensing his boyfriend’s discomfort. Maybe a distracting conversation could help. “They’re a lot taller and thicker than the ones back by the barbarian village, huh?”

“Yeah,” the thief whispered back, pressing his cheek against the other’s back. “…are you missing home?”

Tweek was quiet for a moment, seeming to think. “Are you?”

“That didn’t answer my question.”

“You know the answer.”

Feldspar forced a small laugh. Tweek could be so blunt sometimes. “I know you wanted to go back the moment the ceremony was over… these things never seem to work out in our favor, do they?”

“There’s a lot of things that didn’t work out in our favor.”

It was hard to tell what the barbarian was thinking when Feldspar couldn’t see his face. “Well, once we get back, it’s gonna be okay. Everything will be back to normal. We can go back to the village and be alone together, right?”

“That’s if we don’t die,” Tweek said bitterly, looking down. After everything that had happened, it was hard to stay positive. Douchebag was a strong threat, and there was no guarantee their quest would succeed. “We got lucky the first time we killed him. There’s only a slim chance we’ll win again.”

Feldspar widened his eyes when he heard him begin to sniffle. “Oh, Tweek…” His arms moved tighter around his waist.

Tweek wiped at his eyes, trying not to cry. “I don’t know if I can do this, Craig… I put my title and my people to shame. I’m a king who can’t even shoot his bow, let alone save the entire kingdom.”

“You can, and you will,” the thief assured him, trying to give him a little confidence. “You are the strongest, bravest, smartest person I have ever met. Zaron is proud to have you as their hero. The kings trust you. _I_ trust you.”

The barbarian scoffed, unable to help smiling. “I love you, you dumb thief.”

“I love you too.”

They fell back into silence, bodies pressed close together as their horse continued to gallop behind the others.  The group rode through most of the morning, stopping for short breaks here and there but trying to keep a fast pace. Each and every second they wasted was precious- there was no more time for messing around. The tension in the air was thick.

Safely secure against his boyfriend’s back, Feldspar began to drift, lost in thought. He rested his cheek against the other’s back, eyes closing. His dreams were still empty from the presence that usually plagued him. Somehow, the lack of Douchebag made them feel that much more haunting. He was busy elsewhere, planning something…

“Craig, wake up!”

He suddenly jolted upright, nearly falling off the horse as he scrambled to grab onto Tweek’s cloak. “What? Who? What?” He rubbed at his eyes, still blurry.

“Craig, would you fucking _look where I’m pointing_?” he sighed in exasperation. The thief slowly lifted his head and peered towards where he was gesturing.

“Holy shit!”

Far into the horizon, red and gold and purple painted a soft sunset over the rolling hills. The trees parted almost magically into a large clearing, revealing a small village nestled between the earth. Feldspar could barely breathe as he stared at it in awe. This is what they had been looking for this whole time. This is what they set out for.

“Is that the right one?” he asked in a hushed whisper, arms wrapping around the barbarian king’s middle.

“Sure looks like it,” he replied, grinning. “We’re so close, Craig, can’t you feel it?” Tweek shut his eyes, taking a deep breath. “Look, just… close your eyes again.”

Feldspar shook his head in bewilderment, a smirk on his face, but shut them anyway. He slowly took a similar breath.

“Don’t you just feel this place brimming with magic?” Tweek asked, seeming excited. “I just know that monk is here. There’s no other reason to be feeling such a strong pull in my gut.”

Feldspar took another breath, starting to notice it too. “You’re right, woah…” There was something unusual stirring in his stomach. He had felt it only a few times before when he’d held the Stick or the amulet… this was serious business. It had never been this strong before.

Their horses had slowed to a trot as they moved down the hill towards what they guessed was a makeshift gate. A bunch of scrap metal and wood had been crudely lined up, thick wire wrapped around them to keep outsiders away.

“It looks better than I expected,” Wendy commented, squinting her eyes. “It looks like they’ve managed to start rebuilding. From what I understand, the disaster left these villages completely in shambles. Hundreds of people died during the attacks, and many of those where were left couldn’t make it without supplies.”

“Wait, attack?” Feldspar asked, raising an eyebrow. “I’d never heard that part of the story.”

“Mmm…” She paused, seeming a little uncomfortable. “That’s just what I’ve heard, anyway. Rumors fly around this forest faster than the birds. It was maybe three-hundred years ago, if I had to guess. The legends have been passed down through sparkleclan for generations… my ancestors once saw it in all its glory. The south was a thriving kingdom. The villages were a popular place for trade, bustling with life. People would travel from all over to see their unique goods and visit their temples.”

“That’s where the monks are, right?” the thief interrupted.

“Yes,” she continued. They had stopped in front of the gates now, looking down towards the village just beyond it. “The monks were well known for their special kind of magic. It took years and years of careful training to perfect it, and everyone wanted to be blessed by their powers. Some asked for love, others wealth, some power. They were always able to grant it, if you were lucky enough to see them. They’re very…secluded people.”

With that, she jumped from her horse, stepping forward to get a better look at the gate. She began to shove at the pieces, trying to create an opening to pass through. “The monks spent a lot of time alone, perfecting their magic. When a follower proved himself particularly dedicated, they would bring him in and train him. Their spells were passed down from generation to generation, from leader to follower.” With a grunt and a hard push, she had knocked a few scraps down.

“Lemme help,” Feldspar said quickly, climbing down to help her. He mostly just wanted to hear the rest of the story. “So if they were so powerful, why didn’t they stop this ‘disaster’ thing?”

“Ah…that’s the funny part.” She laughed, ruining her serious tone. “It was a follower that ruined everything. An apprentice to this very village took the powers he had been given…and destroyed them all.”

There was silence as they finished pushing down the fence, making space for their horses to push through.

“…but why?” Feldspar finally asked, unable to understand. “Why would they do that?”

“Nobody knows,” Wendy sighed, moving back towards her horse. “Maybe if we’re lucky, we’ll find out what really happened here.”

With the newly-broken opening, the group began to ride into the village territory and further down the hill. It was starting to get darker now, but dim lights could be seen in the windows of houses and along the pathways. People were slowly opening their doors, peering into the distance towards their horses.

“Everyone slow down,” Chris commanded, holding out his arm. The group stopped in their tracks, watching as the locals began to approach them. They looked identical to the High Elf’s brother, with small eyes and wide smiles. To their surprise, they looked more bewildered than angry at their trespassing.

Tweek slid down from his horse, heart pounding in his chest as he walked forward to meet them. “Come on,” he commanded, gesturing for the others to follow. “We’ll make a better impression on foot.”

They reluctantly followed, taking their horses by the reins and leading them forward until they were at the entrance to their destination.

A young man stepped forward from the group of villagers, arms outstretched in welcome. “Travelers… we haven’t had travelers in years.”

Tweek felt his anxieties relax as he held his arms out in a similar manner, trying to mimic their welcome. They both moved forward until they were face to face.

“Tell me, stranger,” the man asked in a thick accent, studying the barbarian’s face in the dim light of the sunset, “where do you fair from?”

“We come from the northern kingdom of Zaron. We’ve traveled three days and nights to reach your village in hopes of completing a dire quest… we didn’t even know if your people were still alive.” Tweek slowly lowered his arms, looking around. There seemed to be a fairly big crowd gathering around them.

“We’re one of the last remaining villages… there are few of us in number, but we promise we can still provide you with a warm welcome.” All of the rest of the villagers raised their arms in a similar way to how the man hand, beginning to chatter in excitement.

“And to whom do we owe such hospitality?” Tweek asked, a genuine smile creeping onto his face.

“Welcome to Canada.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates in one week? what sort of miracle--

The seven travelers left their horses in the care of some of the villagers as the man began to further welcome them to his home. The sun had fully set now, letting them explore by only moonlight and the lanterns hung around their humble village. As expected, it was shoddily built with whatever resources the people seemed to have on hand.

“We’re a tight knit community,” he explained as he led them further down the path. “There’s maybe a hundred of us here- we’ve actually grown a lot over the years, you know! Back when the disaster first happened, there were hardly any people at all. It’s a miracle we managed to get by.” He paused, turning to face them. “Now, what exactly brings you here?”

All eyes fell on Feldspar and Tweek.

“Erm…” Tweek finally spoke, giving Feldspar a glance, “we’re hoping to…find a monk here.”

The man’s expression changed as he hummed with curiosity. “Well, you’d be in luck then. There are _two_.”

“Two!?” everyone gasped at once, completely shocked. They had been barely expecting to find one, let alone two.

“Perfect, we need to meet them right away!” Feldspar urged. “Where can we find them?”

The man shook his head, frowning. “I don’t think it would be wise to visit them right now. It’s late, and they hate being seen at these hours… it would be unlikely for them to fulfil your wishes.”

The party’s faces fell. It was already the third day in their travels, and there was no time to waste.

“Ah, don’t look so sad!” the man said quickly, noticing the shift in mood. “You’ll still be safe here in the village in the meantime. If you’d like, you can come stay in my home for the night and go visit the temple in the morning.”

“W-we appreciate the ho…hospitality,” Jimmy answered, stepping forward. “We would l-love to stay with you.” Everyone else nodded in agreement. A proper roof over their heads would be much appreciated after sleeping in the clearing the night before. Satisfied with their answer, the man began to lead them down another path towards his home.

“Seven visitors are a lot more than we’ve ever had, so I apologize if it’s a tight squeeze.” The approached a wooden shack, lovingly decorated with flowers along the base to form a garden. A warm glow shone through the windows, the curtains pulled open. The smell of something sweet grew stronger the closer they came.

“Mmm,” Tweek hummed, catching whiff of it.

“Ah, Elise is probably making dinner,” the man laughed. “I hope she made enough.” With that, he opened the door and allowed the travelers to enter.

“Harry, who’s this?” a woman’s voice asked, turning to greet them. Towards the back of their home were a large table and a kitchen that she had been working at. A small child sat on the floor, banging a pot and spoon together.

The man stepped in and kissed his wife quickly, gesturing to the group. “We have visitors from far away; they’re on a quest to meet the monks.”

“A quest!” Elise gasped excitedly, her worried expression disappearing. “How wonderful, do come in! Take your shoes off, put down your weapons, I’ll get you some food!” She hurried back to the kitchen and began to put something together, much to the infant’s delight. He continued to bang on the pot. “I made extra soup to save for later, but I’m sure there’s enough here for everyone to eat tonight.”

“We’re thankful you’re willing to take us in, despite how little you have to share,” Chris noted, surprised by how kind they were. Everyone else followed suit, quickly expressing a ‘thank you’ as they set down their things as instructed.

Harry only laughed in reply, shaking his head. “It’s our pleasure. We haven’t had visitors in such a long time, and certainly no northerners at that!” He gestured for them to sit at the table.

“Ah, ah…that’s not true,” Elise corrected, beginning to set some bowls out on the table. “There was that fellow with a hood, remember? We couldn’t tell where he was from.”

Tweek felt his blood run cold at the mention of who he could only assume was Douchebag. He froze, unable to move, unable to breathe. He had been here too.

“You alright, dear?” Elise asked, setting a bowl in front of him. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”

“Nnnh… Nothing,” he said quickly, shaking his head and catching Feldspar’s eyes. It appeared that he was thinking the same thing.

 _I think I know something about that,_ he mouthed to the barbarian, giving him a strange look. Tweek nodded. They would talk later.

“What’d he look like?” Stan asked quietly, seeming to have also caught on.

“Now that was a strange fellow,” Harry continued, scooping up the baby and setting him on his lap as he took a seat at the table. “He had this long blue hood he never took off. Kind of a funny voice too. We all offered him a place to stay, and he declined. He headed straight up to the temple, and we never saw him again after that.”

“I recon he’s still there,” Elise concluded. “Maybe he became a follower.”

“They don’t allow followers anymore, though.”

“How long ago was this?” Stan continued to press, looking more concerned.

“Mmm. Maybe fifteen years ago or so?” Elise said, thinking. “Harry and I were pretty young at the time.”

Stan nodded, and everyone fell into silence as they began to eat. The warm soup was delicious and satisfying after their long day of traveling, but it was hard to enjoy even the simplest of things when it had been confirmed this this was where Douchebag had once traveled. Nowhere was truly safe from his threat.

Soon enough everyone had their fill and dishes were tidied. Chris, Stan and Wendy offered to help Elise tidy up, Jimmy and Token began to sort through their remaining supplies, and Tweek took the opportunity to take Feldspar aside.

“What was that at dinner?” he asked quickly, taking him by the arm and pulling him towards a worn down couch on the other side of the home to sit down at. “You said you knew something about Douchebag?”

Feldspar nodded, dropping his voice. “Kenny told me something back in the garden.”

“You mean that visit you still haven’t fully filled me in on?”

“Give me a break, will ya?” he gasped in frustration, rolling his eyes. “Just let me finish, okay?”

Tweek gave him a smirk, raising an eyebrow in the silence to urge him to continue.

“She said Douchebag was pretty normal in their childhood, that he was just a regular knight for the kings. He all the sudden started wearing the blue cape and acting all secretly just a few years before Clyde ran off and the war broke out. Apparently, he vanished at the same time. He wasn’t always so powerful and…well… a douchebag.”

Tweek was still quiet, fingers playing with the threads of the upholstery.

“What are you thinking about?” Feldspar pressed, noticing the curious look in his eyes.

“It doesn’t make any sense,” he mumbled, pressing his hand to his mouth and biting at one of his fingers, still deep in thought.

“What doesn’t?”

“Douchebag. I mean, the order of events.”

Feldspar blinked slowly, completely lost. “I don’t follow.”

“No, no, listen,” Tweek said a little louder, looking up and meeting Feldspar’s gaze. He began to list things off on his fingers. “Perfectly normal young man working in the castle as a knight. Suddenly starts wearing a hood to conceal himself. Clyde disappears and he does too.” He paused, giving his boyfriend a strange look. “But if he was just a normal person until a bit before the war started, how the hell did he cause Clyde’s host village to burn down and fall apart some _twenty-odd years_ _ago_?”

Feldspar’s expression changed to a mix of fear and bewilderment. “What the fuck?” he muttered, staring blankly at the barbarian king. “What…”

“I know, right?” Tweek narrowed his eyes, staring at the floor. “Douchebag is a sick person. He thought it would be fun to toy with everyone like pawns to play out his ‘little game’. But if he didn’t appear corrupted until maybe eleven, twelve years ago, his story of setting it all up years before doesn’t make any sense at all.”

“It sounds like it would fit for him to have traveled here during the time he began to act strangely,” Feldspar continued, equally puzzled. “It’s not like we have anyone with us who can really clear that up until we meet with the monks tomorrow.”

“I guess,” Tweek sighed, closing his eyes and rubbing at his temples with his fingers. They slowly crept up to pull at his hair.

“Hey, hey,” Feldspar suddenly whispered, taking on a more tender tone. He reached out and took his lover by the chin, tilting his face so they could meet eyes again. “Don’t stress yourself out over this, okay? You’re fidgeting again.”

Tweek slowly untangled his fingers from his hair, body relaxing. “S-sorry… I’m just worried. There’s a lot on my mind, and now this is just one more thing we need to solve.”

“We don’t need to worry about anything until the morning, okay?” he assured him, the same gentle touch moving to fix his crown back to its proper position in his mass of hair. “Let’s just relax and enjoy our time here.”

“It’s a nice village, I guess,” the barbarian sighed, letting a small smile creep onto his face.

“I couldn’t care less where we were as long as I get to be with you.”

Tweek let out a snort, playfully shoving the thief. “Shut uppppppp, holy _shit_ , you’re such a dork!” The two laughed, scooting closer together in a tight embrace.

“I missed this,” Tweek sighed, pressing his cheek into the other’s chest.

“Missed what?”

“Just…us. It feels like we’ve only really been able to spend time together briefly the last few days.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Feldspar moved to wrap his arms around him, hoping to offer some comfort. “It’ll be better when we get back home, right? After all this, we can settle down in the barbarian camp like you wanted.”

Tweek buried his face further into the thief’s shirt, sighing again. It was everything he had ever wanted. “I love you a lot, you dumb thief.”

 “I love you too,” he laughed, kissing the top of his head.

They sat quietly together for a little while, watching the others around the house. Some of their party mates were talking to Elise and Harry, while Jimmy was strumming his lute, entertaining the small toddler in Token’s lap.

“Look at them,” Tweek commented, watching them play with the baby. Token was bouncing him to the rhythm of Jimmy’s song, both of them singing together. “They’re naturals.”

Feldspar giggled, but couldn’t help but agree. “They’d make good parents, wouldn’t they? I mean, if we ever get a break from all this questing and they were able to actually settle down with their families…”

There was a pause before Tweek suddenly spoke. “If we settled down, would we have a family?”

Feldspar’s eyes went wide as he quickly looked down at the barbarian resting against his chest. “Woah, woah, hold on there mister ‘we’re gonna die and everything is going to hell’, are you asking for _children_?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted, shrugging his shoulders. “It was just a thought and all. I mean, my mother adopted me, the kings adopted Clyde… maybe we can do the same someday.” He couldn’t help but laugh at the look of confusion and surprise still all over his boyfriend’s face. “I know, I know, we’re still too young for that anyway…but if we _wanted to and we could_ … would you?” He looked up at his boyfriend with an innocent look in his eyes.

“ _Maybe_ , but that’s too far in the future. Let’s get past this whole journey first, okay?  Then we’ll think about it if we ever get married.”

Tweek let out a nervous laugh, biting his lip. Maybe tonight wasn’t the night then.

“Something wrong?” Feldspar asked, noticing the look on his face.

“Ah, nothing, was just thinking about Douchebag again. You’re right, we should just relax.” Feldspar seemed to buy it, and Tweek let go of the breath he’d been holding.

“That’s right,” the thief replied, kissing his head again. His gaze slowly moved towards the open window and the moonlight pouring through. “It’s getting late though… maybe all of us should rest. We have a big day tomorrow with the monks, right?”

“Right.” Tweek let out a small sigh, slowly uncurling from his boyfriend and sliding off the couch. It seemed like everyone else had the same idea. Harry had picked up the baby and taken him up the stairs to the family’s bedroom, while Elise spread out spare blankets onto the floor.

“I hope you don’t mind these,” she said, “we don’t have any spare beds.”

“This will do just fine,” Chris assured her. “You’ve done more than enough for us.”

A few goodnights were exchanged and the candles were blown out, leaving the questers with nothing but the moonlight as they prepared for sleep. Tweek lay close to his boyfriend, watching the pale light come through the window and illuminate his sleeping lover. He looked calm tonight… no nightmares would plague him.

“At least that’s one good thing about Douchebag being alive,” he sighed to himself, kissing Feldspar’s cheek before laying himself back down. With a small laugh, he curled back against his chest, sleepily closing his eyes. “…although this whole quest has really put a damper on my proposal plans.”

 

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the great reviews and kudos!!!!!!! yall inspired me to work on the next chapter <3 enjoy!

“How much longer are we going to have to wait?”

Douchebag slowly lifted his head from his work, body appearing tense. “Be quiet,” he hissed, voice barely a whisper but filling the entire room.

Kenny sat just behind him, hands anxiously folded in her lap. “It’s been four days, we have a decent sized army…why don’t we just attack? I just want this to be done already, okay? Let’s just get the Stick and put everything back to normal. I kinda miss my uncle and my cousin and-“

“Kenny, I said _shut up,”_ Douchebag warned again, sharply turning away from the pot of boiling green liquid. She couldn’t see his face, but she knew he was angry. “We promised 7 days, they get 7 days.”

“Since when have you ever followed the rules?” she grumbled back, crossing her arms. She turned herself away from him, equally annoyed with his behavior. “You always cheated when we were little.”

“I’ve matured,” he replied, turning back to the pot. One gloved hand dipped into the mixture, pulling up a long, slimy string of goo. He seemed satisfied with it and quickly extinguished the flame below it. “The game is more fun when you take your time. They expect me to break the rules… I like keeping them in suspense. I like finding the loopholes.”

“You’ve gone positively mad!” she exclaimed, shaking her head at him and standing up. “You’re crazy! You’re… you’re…”

“I’m _what?”_ he dared, turning around again. His hands twitched from within his oversized cloak, almost daring her to speak. “What do you think of me, hmm? Are you regretting your decision?”

“No…” She slowly sat back down, ashamed, trembling. Despite her resumed silence, she was clearly afraid.

“Good,” he said. “As soon as this batch is cooled, we’ll expand our army and prepare a surprise visit to the castle, just to tease them.” Before Kenny could interject, he continued. “I’m still following the rules. I’m not attacking them, just stirring the pot. Your stupid uncle and cousin will be safe…for now.” He laughed lightly to himself, relishing in Kenny’s uncomfortable expression.

“I hate you,” she whispered.

“You should.” He began to turn back around when something made him freeze. An ominous silence swept the room.

Kenny looked around, eyes wide. “What?”

Douchebag quickly picked up the wooden spoon laid near the cooling pot of potion, still silent. He listened for a moment before throwing the spoon towards the far wall, knocking down a stand of armor and causing a loud clatter. “I TOLD YOU TO STOP SPYING, YOU STUPID THIEF!”

 

* * *

 

Tweek woke early the next morning, the warm streams of sunlight illuminating the smeared paint on his face. As he began to come around, it wasn’t how short his sleep had felt that alarmed him; it was the absence of his boyfriend in his arms. By habit he began to panic, sitting up and shuffling the blankets.

“Relax, he just w-w-went for a walk.”

Tweek jumped at the sudden voice, turning around. Jimmy sat quietly in his own nest of blankets, calm and collected as always.

“You scared me,” the barbarian scoffed, rubbing at his sleep-deprived eyes before folding his arms across his chest. “What do you mean he went for a walk?”

“I mean what I s-said. He went out this morning to c-clear his mind before we meet the mo…monks today.” Jimmy sarcastically mimicked his pose, crossing his arms and making a pouty face. “What’s wrong, worried a-about him?”

“Is there ever a moment I’m not?” he replied, shaking his head in bewilderment.

“Before you a-ask, yes, he’s fine.” Before Tweek could ask how he knew, the bard tapped his temple with his finger. Oh yeah. Elven perception. “He’s just a-around the corner, trying to calm down. He w-woke up in an aw…awful fright, he was glad he didn’t w-wake you.”

“Wake me?!” Tweek leapt from his blankets, scrambling for his boots. “Why didn’t you say he was freaking out, dumbass?”

“We’re all a little hi-high strung this morning, I didn’t think it mattered,” Jimmy said nonchalantly as Tweek flew out the door. The barbarian stumbled down the dirt path, eyes and ears alert until he spotted the thief wandering in circles across from the cottage.

“Jeez, I’m sorry, I…” Tweek ran to him, arms outstretched. “I didn’t hear you wake up, I was out cold.” Feldspar said nothing, just letting himself collapse into the barbarian’s arms. Tweek immediately sensed something was wrong with how tense he felt. “H-hey, what’s wrong?”

“I saw him again,” Feldspar whispered, voice hardly audible, “in my dream… but I don’t think I was supposed to.” His legs seemed to be shaking as Tweek struggled to hold him upright.

“What? What does that mean?” Tweek shifted to look at his face, tilting his chin to get a better look at him. “Craig, Craig…what did you see?” His eyes were small and wide, face pale. He’d never seen him this bad before.

“He… he was standing i-in this room… I’d been there before back when K-Kenny rescued me back in the woods.” Feldspar shook his head, fingers weakly clinging to the barbarian’s arms. “He was there with her and this big…big cauldron of stuff…” He trailed off, biting his lip, trying to calm his breathing.

“Here, here, just… just sit down, okay?” Tweek felt his own panic rising in his chest as he lowered both of them to the ground, settling in the dirt with his boyfriend’s head against his shoulder. “What were they doing?”

“He’s preparing to attack the castle soon… Tweek, Tweek our time is running out!” he suddenly cried, throwing his face against the other’s chest and beginning to sob. “We are going to _die_ , we’re all going to _die_ -“

“No,” Tweek said firmly despite his shaking voice, “no, we’re going to be juuuust fine.” He gently pet at his hair, unsure how else to soothe him. Usually if he woke from a nightmare it didn’t take much to get him to sleep again. This was a whole new ballpark. He must have seen something terrible for him to be so scared. “We’re gonna be okay, remember? We’re going to see the monks today. It’s day four, it’s only day four…”

They sat quietly as he slowed his crying, rocking gently side to side in the dirt path until he was calm enough to stand.  To Tweek, it felt like forever. It was _day four_. They had hardly any time to waste, and the last thing he wanted was Feldspar to have a mental breakdown after coming so far.

“See, you’re gonna be fine, okay?” Tweek smiled gently to him, wiping a few stray tears with his thumb. “We kicked his ass to the grave once, we’ll do it again. Come on, jackass, where’s my big, tough thief?” It elicited a small laugh from his lover, which was satisfying enough as they took hands. “Let’s head back to the house and bitch at Jimmy for leaving you alone.”

The two did as Tweek said, heading back to the cottage they had be lucky enough to stay at the night before. Everyone else was wide awake now, eating breakfast and preparing for the massive task ahead. As soon as Tweek pushed open the door, Chris was heading over to them.

“Oh jeez, what now,” the barbarian sighed, rolling his eyes. He’d already had enough this morning. The last he needed was Chris and his attitude.

“Uh, I have a question,” the warrior stated as he approached them. He didn’t seem hostile or uptight at all this morning. If anything, he looked a little worried.

“What?”

“According to this Harry fellow, the monks hate being disturbed and rarely open their doors nowadays. How do you expect us to talk to them if they don’t want to be disturbed?”

Tweek rolled his eyes. “We’ll make them talk to us, okay?” There was no time for Chris to be proper about this.

“If they won’t open the door, that’s impossible.”

“Then we do it my way.”

“And what’s your way?” Chris crossed his arms, an almost amused expression on his face.

“Stan grabs your legs, I grab your torso and we use you like a battering ram,” Tweek teased, laughing to himself at how uncomfortably Chris was sputtering in attempt to come up with a retort. “I’m kidding, dude, we’ll figure this out. But I _will_ break down the door if I have to.”

Chris fell silent, nodding as he walked away.

“A battering ram, jeez, that’s harsh,” Feldspar laughed, shaking his head. A bit of color had returned to his face now- he was clearly feeling less shaken.

“He’s a dick, he deserved it,” Tweek replied. He really had no other answer.

 The two sat down at the table with Token and Jimmy, eating a few bits of fruit and bread that had been laid out for them. It was an unusually quiet meal, but everyone subconsciously knew why. Today was the moment of truth in their journey. There wasn’t much time now for joking around.

Once the table had been cleared and everyone felt prepared, the warriors and Wendy gathered their weapons to escort the heroes up the hill to where the monk’s temple was located. Harry and Elise were thanked for their hospitality and away they went along the dirt path, curious villagers peeking through their windows to watch them go.

“I hope they’ll let us in,” Token said nervously, looking upward as they climbed. They could just barely see the temple now over the hill. It was run down, but not as shabby as the rest of the town. “I mean…we need answers, we need magic. We can’t afford for them not to.”

“I’ll convince them,” Tweek growled for what felt like the millionth time that day. Nerves and stress were coming out as aggression this morning. “I’ll punch ‘em if I gotta.”

“Tweek, relax,” Feldspar chided, a gloved hand running across his boyfriend’s cheek. “Calm the fuck down. You know what happens when you get angry, remember?”

Tweek took a deep breath, pressing into the touch. “Yeah…sorry.”

“He has every reason to be nervous, though,” Wendy added. They were getting close now. “I think we all are. This is a once in a lifetime experience, guys. Look at the temple, look at this village! We’re so close!”

“Nobody asked you,” Chris grumbled. “You aren’t even part of this plan. You aren’t getting anything out of this.”

Wendy shrugged her shoulders, hand on the handle of her sword like a warning as she shot him a glance. “I didn’t kill you. I think you owe me a journey to meet the monks, hmm?”

Chris was quiet, much to everyone else’s amusement.

Their upward trek ended as they approached the door of the temple. It was majestic despite its current, run down state. At each corner of the building stood tall, red towers, the roof shimmering in the morning sunlight. The rest was almost dome shaped, standing much taller than any other building in the village below. The double doors were slightly agape, almost invitingly so.

“Looks like Chris doesn’t have to break down the door,” Tweek laughed as he grabbed one of the handles. He yanked the door wider with a soft creak.

“There’s no turning back now,” Stan whispered under his breath, slowly removing the helmet from his head. “This is the moment of truth. This decides everything. This-“

“Quit monologing and get your ass inside,” Wendy said, giving him a shove.

“Right, right.” Stan blushed, scampering inside with the rest of the group.

As they stepped inside, they were immediately greeted with a long hallway, illuminated by dull candlelight. The inside was painted a similar red to the towers outside, a long carpet beckoning them inside. The further they traveled, the more they felt a chill within their bodies.

“I don’t like this, man, you sure we can’t turn back?” Token whispered, rubbing at his arms.

“You just said we can’t afford not to talk to the monks,” Chris said.

“Yeah, but I’m _scared as all hell._ ”

“Again, rightfully so,” Wendy whispered, her usual confident voice shaking.

All at once, the candles in the hallway went out, leaving them in pitch darkness. There was the slam of the doors behind them, and then silence.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” someone whispered, but nobody could figure out whom. Tweek and Feldspar clung to each other, listening, hearts pounding.

“The door wasn’t open for you to waltz right in, buddy. It was just a little stuffy in here. Don’t you have any sense of respect? Now the candles have blown out because you left it too wide.”

Everyone jumped at the sound of the new voice. There was the sound of footsteps, then the creak of a door opening, and finally the flood of sunlight from outside. They squinted in the new light until their eyes fell on a pair of figures, dressed in red garb. Their eyes were small and mouths long, just like the villagers and the High Elf’s brother before that.

“Well don’t just stare, friend, who the fuck are you?” then blond one spoke.

Everyone was silent, staring at each other, unsure who should speak. Finally Token reached out an arm to shove Tweek forward, much to his surprise and displeasure.

“Well?” the other monk asked, seeming impatient.

“I…I…” Tweek took a shaking breath, clenching his fists. He had to do this, this was their only hope. “M-my name is Tweek, king of the barbarians, hero of Zaron, sent to you by the kings for-“

“BOOOOOOOOOOORING,” the blond exclaimed. “That’s too long, isn’t it Terrence? How about we just call you… ‘get the hell out of my temple we’re retired’!” Both monks broke out into high-pitched, earsplitting laughter.

“W-wait, please, you don’t understand,” Tweek begged, desperate.

“Phillip and I have seen nothing but bad things come from unwanted visitors,” Terrance replied loudly, attempting to silence him.

“Stop, wait, _please,_ ” Tweek continued. “We need to learn the Nagasaki before our entire kingdom is killed!”

A rumble began to shake the ground, similar to when Douchebag attacked them on day one. “Now we’re _extra_ retired,” Phillip said, starting to raise his arms. Terrence did the same. “We’ll never teach the Nagasaki, not ever again! You have until my magic charges to get out of here before I blast you!”

Everyone began to panic, shouting out anything and everything in attempt to persuade them. Tweek grabbed at his hair, eyes wild with fear. What could he do? What could he-

Douchebag.

“DOUCHEBAG!” he shouted, running forward and waving his hands. “Douchebag! Douchebag is attacking us! You know who Douchebag is!”

The rumbling suddenly stopped as the monks dropped their arms, eyes wide.

“What did he say?” asked Terrence.

“You know Douchebag, buddy?” asked Philip.

“Yes, _yes,_ unfortunately we do,” Tweek answered, breathing a sigh of relief. “He’s declared war on our kingdom in hopes of gaining the Stick of Truth.”

It was dead silent for a moment as the monks exchanged glances.

Feldspar finally piped up, unable to take it any longer. “Please, we have so many questions, we need…we need your answers.”

“Follow us.” The monks bowed their heads, speaking in unison. With that, they turned swiftly and continued down the hallway, the group trailing quickly behind them. A wave of relief seemed to have washed over them. They reached the end of the hallway where Phillip opened another large set of double doors.

Walking into the room, they were met with sunlight shining through several large stained glass windows, all in a row. The entire room was empty other than a circular rug on the floor and a few shelves of books.

“Good thing we have this convenient prophecy mural,” Terrance said, gesturing upward.

Tweek stared up at it, marveling at the detail. The first circular window depicted two children running in a rose garden, a man dressed in armor chasing them. His eyes slowly drifted to the next one where a familiar blue-caped figure lay on the ground, arrow through his chest, Stick of Truth lying beside him. Tweek knew exactly what that meant. Then came another picture of the garden, a hand reaching up through the soil. Next, the caped figure had his arms outstretched, performing magic. At his feet were several sickly green people, holding spears and other weapons. Tweek finally allowed himself to look at the last image. The caped figure lay on the ground, someone standing over him holding a bow and arrow. There was a cloud of magic around the two of them, as if someone had just cast a spell.

“What…what does this mean?” he finally managed to ask.

“We sure as hell don’t know,” Terrence replied, laughing. Phillip joined in. “This thing just sort of appeared one day. We just think it’s pretty.”

“Are you fucking _bonkers?_ ” Tweek exclaimed, baffled.

“We’re _kidding,_ ” Phillip teased, shaking his head. “We know all about your destiny, barbarian. We may be old and retired, but that doesn’t mean we’re dumb.”

“Maybe a little dumb,” Terrence corrected him.

“Maybe a little,” the other echoed.

“W-we don’t mean to rush you,” Token asked, “but we don’t have much time. Do you think you’ll be able to teach us the Nagasaki or not?”

Terrence just laughed, almost amused. “Don’t worry, we’ve been saving the remainder of our magic for something special like this. We only have enough energy to teach _two_ of you, though. We want you to bring Douchebag down, friend. We’re willing to make an exception to our retirement.”

Everyone glanced between themselves.

“We just so h-h-happen to have two he…heroes of Zaron,” Jimmy said calmly, gesturing to Tweek and Feldspar. “Allow them to learn it.”

Everyone else silently agreed.

“Well, then it’s settled,” Terrence said. “We’ll teach the barbarian and the thief the Nagasaki.”

“Wait,” Tweek said suddenly, eyes darting back to the stained glass. “I…I have some questions about Douchebag first. I have to know before…before we get caught up with training or whatever.”

“Is that so, buddy?” Phillip asked.

Everyone nodded.

Tweek took it as an invitation to continue, clearing his throat. “Douchebag came through here some fifteen years ago, correct? He also ransacked the kings’ son’s village long _before_ that. I… I don’t understand how everything lines up. What do you know of him, how did he come to be like this?”

The monks continued their silent gaze, almost thoughtfully.

“Douchebag is… a longtime acquaintance of ours,” Terrence admitted. “The first…well, the _real_ first time he came here was sixteen years ago. The children of castle were very young at the time, buddy, and Douchebag was a teenager himself. He was the kings’ best knight- a loyal, honest, true man. He was shaping up to be a fantastic person.”

“Now, one day he decided to travel to this town,” Phillip continued. “We don’t know what motivated him so suddenly, but he wanted something here. He entered wearing a long blue hood, but he was not a changed man yet, oh no. He was magicless at the time.”

The two continued switching back and forth, moving to Terrence again. “Douchebag snuck into our temple and found this room. He found our books. He scoured through them until he found exactly what he needed. Had we got there in time he would have never touched them.”

“What did he find?” Tweek asked, unable to help himself.

“The spell for _time travel._ ” The room went quiet as soon as Phillip whispered it. “He stole the spell and took himself back in time, back to a time were we wouldn’t know who he was, a time before the accident that caused us to retire in the first place.”

“The village,” Feldspar breathed. “He… did he attack those villages? Did he attack the northern villages?”

“Indeed he did, guy,” Terrence said. “First, he came to us. We were younger and our past selves, so we had no idea of what he would become. It was when we still had followers, you see, when we let people into the temple. We took a strange liking to him and began to train him. We taught him nearly everything we knew, including… including the Nagasaki. In no time at all, he was a master, well on his way to becoming our successor.”

“But he betrayed you,” Stan concluded quietly.

“He did,” Phillip agreed. His head lowered in sadness. “Before we knew it, he completely destroyed the village with his newfound power. He then began to jump around in time, ransacking the rest of the north and whatever else he wanted. We were devastated. We swore he would never get his hands on anything else… but time travel is a tricky thing. It creates paradoxes, it creates alternate realities. It’s something we never taught him initially because of the danger. It’s something we’ll never teach again.”

The room was quiet again as they took in all of the information. “What about the prophecy then?” Tweek asked finally. “I mean… can’t there just be some other ‘chosen one’ for once?”

“You and Feldspar have been on your way to destroy Douchebag from the start,” Terrence said. “Fate is an interesting thing; it puts us on the road towards success. Defeating Douchebag the first time was only halfway through your journey. What you need to do now is fight back in your biggest, most dangerous battle yet.”

“But we win, right?” Feldspar asked. He pointed to the glass windows. “It says we win, right?”

“We know that if you fight, Zaron has a chance…but it is _you_ that will be the deciding factor in how this story will end. There is no guarantee of survival. There is no guarantee of winning. We can only give you the tools and hope for the best that you are able to fulfil your potential, friend.”

Feldspar frowned, looking devastated. His eyes fell downcast to the floor.

“So…so I guess it’s up to us,” Tweek concluded. His voice wavered slightly, but he was full of newfound determination.

“Indeed Terrence raised an eyebrow, hands clasped tightly together in front of him. “The question is… do you take the path fate has laid for you, or do you turn your back?”

The barbarian’s eyes darted back up to the mural on the wall. The last image, their potential victory, filtered colorful light against his pale, painted face. Maybe he could get over his fears. Maybe he could be the man he was before their journey began. Maybe he could be the one to fire that arrow and rid the world of Douchebag for real this time. He slowly looked back towards the monks, his answer decided.

“I know we can win this. I’ll be the one to land the final blow. I’ll kill him.” He laughed to himself. “Besides… barbarian’s never miss.”

 

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its a miracle,,, another upload wowie

**_Zaron, 18 Years Ago_ **

“Catch me! CATCH ME!”

A shrill, childish voice echoed through the gardens as the princess went darting between the rose bushes. Her long hair flowed behind her as she sprinted, nearly tripping over her dress as she navigated the mazes of overgrown foliage.

“Catch _me_ first! Catch me instead!” an even younger voice called from the opposite direction. Out from another bunch of rose bushes popped a tiny face, wide grin displaying baby teeth and sweet little dimples. The four year old boy let out a happy giggle as he darted back behind them, running along the pathway in an attempt to stay hidden. His eyes were stuck behind him, looking, looking-

“Gotcha!” An older boy dressed in light armor and a long blue cape stood before him, arms outstretched and knees crouched to his level. The little boy let out a happy screech as his captor lifted him off the ground, ticking his sides.

“Ya got me, Douchebag,” he teased, tiny hands reaching out and squishing the knight’s cheeks.

“I told you to stop calling me that,” he sighed, rolling his eyes. He cradled the boy in his arms, pouting his lips in response to his squeezing. “Did Kenny teach you that, Clyde?”

“Mmmmm…yeah,” the toddler replied, thoughtfully tilting his head. “She said it first.”

“Little brat,” the knight laughed, quickly depositing the boy onto the ground again. “Come on, let’s go chase her. Think we can catch her?” He quickly took his hand, leading him back into the center of the garden.

“Where she go?” Clyde asked softly, looking side to side.

“She’s being sneaky,” he replied, laughing a little. “I’m sure she’s somewhere… here, Clyde, I have an idea.” He bent down low until the little boy could see his face, looking into his eyes. “Climb onto my shoulders and I’ll lift you wayyyy up high above the bushes. Then I bet you could see, what do you think?”

Clyde nodded quickly, clapping his hands and wiggling back and forth with excitement. With a little help he managed to climb up onto the knight’s shoulders. “Lift me,” he commanded, pointing a finger towards the sky. With another giggle, the knight took hold of his legs and hoisted him up. As soon as he was high enough, the tiny boy began to search, hands over his eyes like binoculars.

“See her?”

Clyde hesitated, frowning. “Hmmm…ahhh…Oh! Oh! KENNY! I SEE YOU!” he shouted, pointing towards her hiding spot near the edge of the garden.

“NO FAIR!” she screamed back. “YOU CHEATED!”

“Did not!” the knight shouted back, setting Clyde to the ground again. “You better run before I catch you and EAT you!”

“Douchebag! Douchebag!” the girl chanted, almost mockingly. The knight took off running down the garden path towards where Clyde had spotted her, the toddler struggling to keep up.

“I’m gonna put a silencing spell on you if you call me that _one more time,_ ” he threatened playfully. There she stood, right where Clyde said. As soon as she saw him she screamed, a huge grin on her face as she took off in the other direction.

“CAN’T CATCH ME!”

“We’ll see about that!” He took off running after her, but she was just too quick. She stumbled a bit as she twisted and turned through the bushes, trying to confuse him.

“Hey, wait, Kenny, slow down, you’re gonna trip!”

“Am not!” she yelled back. “You’re just saying that so I’ll—AAH!” Before she could finish her sentence, her feet became tangled in her dress and she went tumbling to the ground.

“Shit—Kenny, hey, are you okay?” The knight quickly stopped running, staring at the child who now sat sniffling on the garden pathway. Slowly she lifted her dress to show a pair of skinned knees and scraped shins.

“Aw, Ken, you felled,” Clyde commented, moving closer. “She’s got hurt now.”

“Here, let me see,” he said quickly, moving closer and kneeling beside her. He inspected the tiny wounds, shaking his head and tutting his tongue with mock concern. “Hmm… well, I guess I could fix it.”

Kenny’s eyes lit up. “Ooh! Do the magic! Do the magic!” she begged, looking a little less teary.

“Yeah, do it!” Clyde echoed, clapping his hands.

“Alright… watch this.” The knight closed his eyes, slowly lifting his hands. A gentle yellow glow began to form in his palms as the children watched in amazement. He carefully pressed his hands to each of her knees, exhaling. As soon as the light faded, the wounds were no more.

“Woooooow!” Kenny shouted, rubbing at them. “It’s like it wasn’t even there!”

“I’ve been practicing,” he admitted, rubbing at his shoulder. “Been training hard for the kings… you never know when it’ll come in handy. They said I’ve been making fantastic progress.”

“Soon I’m gonna learn too,” Clyde piped up, raising one hand into the air. “Mr. Wizard Eric said when I’m…uh… this many.”

“That’s five, Clyde, that’s five,” the knight laughed, scooping up the boy again. “And when you do, I bet you’ll be the best magician the world’s ever seen.”

 

* * *

 

**_Present Day_ **

The monks had given Tweek and Feldspar a few minutes to prepare themselves before the urgent training began.

“You’re oddly… confident,” Feldspar noted, taking a seat on the floor beside his boyfriend. Indeed, Tweek was acting more fearless than usual. “I haven’t seen you like this since you first pointed an arrow to my head and threatened to kill me.”

Tweek laughed softly, shaking his head as he closed his eyes. “I remember that,” he said, recalling memories. “You had the dumbest look on your face; I just couldn’t shoot something that helpless.”

“Very funny,” Feldspar grumbled, but he couldn’t help but grin.

“No, no, I’m…I’m kidding. I didn’t realize it at the time, but… maybe I thought that dumb look was pretty cute.” Tweek blushed a little, tilting his head so it could rest on Feldspar’s shoulder. “I’m glad I didn’t shoot.”

“I’m glad you didn’t either,” he replied bluntly, kissing the top of his head.

“I…I don’t think I could have made it through any of this alone.” Tweek’s hand slowly snuck out from his cape, tangling fingers with the thief. “I’m not as strong as I like to pretend. Without you, I’d still be convinced I needed to prove something. You’re always there, you know? The moment I decided I wouldn’t kill you, you kept coming back to me, telling me I was worth it, telling me that I’d already done enough. I’m…you’re…uh…”

“Hey, it’s fine.” Feldspar grinned, using his free hand to tilt Tweek’s chin to face him. Their eyes met before he kissed him gently, pulling away with an even bigger smile. “I understand… I love you too.”

Tweek only smiled back, eyes drifting closed in comfort.

“Come on, lovebirds, hurry up. It’s time to get started!”

The shrill voice of Phillip jerked them back into reality. Hands still intertwined, they stood up, stepping forward towards the circular rug. The room had been cleared except for the two of them and the monks, the others waiting patiently outside. Terrence and Philip insisted that they needed to be completely free of distraction to effectively train.

Terrence gently placed a candle onto the center of the floor, right in the middle of the rug. It was glowing redder than either of them had ever seen a candle glow.

“What’s that for?” Feldspar asked, curiosity getting the best of him.

“It’s for _minding your own business,_ buddy,” Phillip stated, giving him a look. Terrence had already begun to circle the room, blowing out all of the other candles. “In all honesty, it’s just to set the mood. We need complete tranquility in this room before we can pass down the ancient wisdom. Also we like the color red, if you couldn’t tell by our temple.”

“Figures,” the thief muttered, rolling his eyes. He watched as Terrence blew out the last candle, and then pulled a dark curtain over the glass windows on the wall. The room was pitch black except for the single glowing candle illuminating their faces.

“Thief… barbarian… are you ready to embark on a journey into your _soul?_ ” Terrence asked dramatically, waving his hand over the top of the candle. “This will take all the strength in your mortal body, all of your mind power. You must connect with yourself inside and out, friend.”

Tweek took a shaking breath, starting to become nervous. It was only when Feldspar squeezed his hand that he managed to relax, eyes closing again. There was nothing to be afraid of, he knew that. As long as he could keep his masked anxieties where they belonged, everything would be okay. Feldspar told him he was strong. Feldspar said he was brave. He could do this. “I’m ready.”

Feldspar echoed his reply, both of them stepping closer to the candle in a wide stance, hands clasped tightly.

“The first thing we need to do,” instructed Phillip, “is enter the mindscape. This is the prime ground for learning powerful magic, but it can only be accessed with a tranquil mind. This may seem difficult, but I assure you buddy; it is the easiest part of this training process.”

Tweek shuddered at the thought, but was quickly soothed again by Feldspar’s whispers. “It’s fine, just relax. I told you, you’ve got this… you’ve got me.”

“We’ll get through this together.”

“That’s right.”

Tweek took another slow breath, eyes closing. “How do we access the mindscape?”

“Keep your head low and your eyes shut. Regulate your breathing to the slowest it can go,” Phillip said. Both monks stepped forward, extending their arms. A hand rested on each of the heroes’ shoulders. “Imagine an empty void, nothing but pure white. We’ll get you the rest of the way.”

In no time their breathing began to slow, almost as if they were asleep. With the dead silence of the room and the dancing light of the candle, they couldn’t help but slip into a dream-like trance. _“This is it,”_ Tweek thought, starting to feel something stirring in his chest. Tt was as if he was traveling through a tunnel at a very fast speed, the wind whipping all around him. The light from beyond their closed eyes faded into complete darkness until they were suddenly confronted with pure white.

Tweek swore he had never opened his eyes, but here he was, surely looking around in a sort of new world. “Woah,” he breathed, almost afraid to move. He had no shadow below him, no ground; just a white void.

“Welcome to the mindscape,” Philip said calmly. The barbarian looked up, eyes wide with alarm. There the monks were, standing just in front of him. To his left he found Feldspar, looking equally confused and dazed. He quickly squeezed the hand he was holding, just to be sure he was really there. Feldspar squeezed back. Everything was still okay.

“It’ll take a moment to adjust,” Terrence said, equally as calm. The monks stood side by side, arms folded in front of them. Their red robes had turned black, contrasting with their empty background. “Sometimes even the most prepared followers become disoriented here. Take your time, move around a bit. You’ll need your entire consciousness to continue.”

Tweek nodded, small at first but then larger. He needed to move around, that’s what they said… he let go of Feldspar’s hand, gently shaking out his limbs and stretching.

“You good?” Feldspar asked softly, copying him.

“Yeah… this is just really weird,” Tweek whispered back, afraid to raise his voice any higher. “I feel here _and_ not here all at the same time.”

“It’s kinda…kinda floaty,” Feldspar said thoughtfully, trying to describe the feeling.

“Floaty, yeah,” Tweek agreed. He stopped moving for a moment, that strange tunnel feeling coming back to him. He suddenly felt hyper aware of his breathing, of the coolness on his skin, the ground beneath his feet. “I think… I think I’m all here, like he said. The consciousness thing.”

“Me too,” Feldspar said, sounding surprised. “It’s like all the rest of me suddenly caught up. I’m all here now.”

“Good, good,” Terrence said, nodding his head as the two looked back over to him. “You’ve fully entered the mindscape. Training here is the safest, as you cannot bring any harm to yourselves or us. All you’re really doing is training your brain without the unnecessary fatigue and side-effects. It also offers complete and total isolation, so you can focus. The Nagasaki takes a _great_ amount of focus.”

“Like we said, we’re ready to take on that challenge,” Tweek replied, but deep down, he wasn’t sure. He could fake his confidence to the moon and back, but he could never truly get rid of the shaky little boy he started from.

“Good, then let us begin. The Nagasaki requires absolute precision; observe.” Phillip extended both arms out at the same time, slowly raising them towards the sky. A strange rumble began to emit from him as he lowered his body to a kneeling position on the ground. One hand touched the bottom of the void as his head lowered. All at once his head tilted slightly to the left, a sudden burst of green smoke exploding from his body. It filled the entire area so thick nobody could see anything for a few moments. Then, as if it had never happened, it faded away, leaving just a trace of green and a horrid scent.

“Holy fuck,” Tweek whispered. Memories of the ruined garden and the attack at the ceremony flooded back to him. This was it; this was what they were looking for.

“Holy fuck is right,” Terrence said, still in the exact same position as before Phillip had performed his magic. “If you had been in your mortal body, you would have absolutely been killed at such close range. This is why the Nagasaki is the _only_ way to weaken Douchebag. It’s one of the most powerful spells in the entire world.”

Feldspar reached for Tweek’s hand again, grasping it tightly. He didn’t want to know what would have happened if Butters hadn’t pulled Tweek to cover a mere 4 days ago. He almost didn’t realize how badly he was trembling at the thought.

“Easy, thief, you’ll break your connection to the mindscape if you become unfocused,” Terrence warned. “Let’s try this nice and slow. It will take some time, but if you focus on your breathing, it’ll start to guide you. There is magic in all of us, friend, it just takes skill to harness it.”

Feldspar nodded, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. He steadied himself before opening them again. “Okay, I’m ready. Tweek?”

“Yeah,” the barbarian said softly, eyes trained on the ground. “Let’s do this.”

The two monks stepped closer. “We’ll repeat the Nagasaki slowly- copy our movements as exactly as you can,” Terrence said. In unison, the four men began to raise their arms and kneel to the ground.

“Hold it here,” Phillip told them suddenly, making Tweek jump with surprise. “What you’ve just done is gathered your energy. Do you feel it inside of you?”

Tweek closed his eyes, trying to focus on his body. Yes, there was something in his stomach that wasn’t there before. It was as if it was pulling from his fingertips and toes towards the center of his body. “Yes, yes,” he said, not daring to move and disturb it. “I…I feel it.”

“Me too,” Feldspar chimed.

“Good, good. All you need to do is release that energy with a certain level of control. The energy release will set off a reaction strong enough to destroy anything in your path. Are you ready to try?”

Tweek kept his eyes closed, taking a deep breath. Breathe, he had said. Breathe, and let the magic guide you. “Ready.”

“On the count of three, tilt your head and push everything out,” Phillip instructed. “One… two…three!”

All at once, Tweek tensed his body, tilting his head just a bit to the left. With every ounce of his being he shoved that feeling in his stomach away from him, out of his body, through his head and fingers and toes. What happened next rocked his entire core- his body weakened as the explosion poofed around him, magic filling the air. In a few moments time, it had cleared away.

“Well?” Terrence said, standing back up. “How did it feel? Were you successful?”

Feldspar had collapsed on the ground, breathing hard. “You weren’t wrong when you said it took a lot of strength,” he muttered, “but I did it.”

“Me too,” Tweek said, equally winded. He stood, one hand on his knee and the other against his chest. His breathing was labored, but a sense of pride swelled inside of him. He’d done it. He’d done the Nagasaki.

“Take a moment and catch your breath,” Phillip said, completely unfazed by the four-way blast. “The mindscape will heal you much faster than your body would in the mortal world. This is the crucial part- only set off a Nagasaki when you are absolutely sure you are ready. If you miss or fail, you will be too weak to save yourself.”

Tweek shuddered at the thought, but he stayed quiet as he tried to heal himself. With a bit of silence and deep breathing, his body felt like before they had begun. “Okay… can I try again?”

“Of course,” Terrence laughed, seeming amused. “Is that not why we’re here? It _does_ take time and practice after all.”

Tweek groaned in response.

With a wave of his hand, Terrence had summoned a sort of foggy figure in a cloak. When Tweek looked up, he nearly fell over.

“Douchebag?! Are you trying to give me a HEART ATTACK?!” he shouted, absolutely baffled.

“I figured you should practice on a target, and since Douchebag is your target, _blast him._ ” Terrence stepped back, allowing plenty of space. “Barbarian, you go first.”

“M-me?” Tweek asked, legs starting to tremble. He was unable to help himself as words began to fill his head.

“Tweek?” Feldspar asked, becoming concerned.

_You’re no better than me. You’re no better than me. You’re no better than me._

The words played on repeat in his head as he stared at the figure. Everything was shutting down around him, the white void becoming distorted as he panicked. His chest felt tight, eyes wide. No, not here, not now, he couldn’t freeze up!

_Coward, coward, you weak fucking coward!_

Unable to stop himself, Tweek let out a high pitched wail, stumbling backwards, hands flying into his hair. He began to twitch wildly, pulling at it. “STOP STOP STOP STOP,” he screamed, the tunneling feeling surrounding him.

“Stop, you idiot, you’re disrupting your-”

Before Terrence could say another word, Tweek fell backwards onto his ass, eyes flying open. He gasped for air as he landed on his back, staring into the pitch black of the training room. He…he…

“I failed,” he whimpered, hands pressing over his eyes as the tears began to flow. His chest ached as he sobbed, twitching and shaking on the hard floor.

“Tweek, what happened?” Feldspar’s voice suddenly gasped. There was the sound of footsteps, then strong arms wrapping around him. “Tweek, hey, hey, it’s okay, I got you…”

“No, no it’s –ngh—not,” he sobbed, moving so that he could wrap his arms around Feldspar. “C-Craig, I ruined everything, I’m never g-gonna be able to do this…”

“Yes you _can_ ,” Feldspar begged him, a gentle hand running up and down his back. “You just did it back in the mindscape, who says you can’t do it now?”

Tweek just shook his head, unable to respond. As soon as he confronted Douchebag he just _knew_ he was going to freeze like that again. “I’m gonna doom us all… y-you’d be better off if you just did the Nagasaki alone.”

“Tweek,” Feldspar cooed, holding him close. “You know that’s not true. I’d never do it alone. I need you… and you need me.” He pulled back just enough so he could look at Tweek’s face, staring into his teary, hazel eyes. “Together, remember? We promised. Together.”

Tweek took a shaking breath, their eyes locked. “T-together,” he said softly, nodding a little.

“There we go,” Feldspar said again, copying his breath. “Just breathe, let’s calm down. As soon as you’re ready, we’ll head back into the mindscape and finish this.”

“There’s no time for that,” Terrence interrupted, coming closer with an alarmed look on his face. “You need to get going, and fast.”

“What do you mean?” Feldspar asked, looking up, boyfriend protectively in his arms.

“We didn’t realize how much time had passed. Getting back into the mindscape would take too long, let alone more practice. You at least know the basic movement. I have faith in you two- I can sense that you’re especially in tune with the magic within you. If you want to save your kingdom, you’re going to need to head home. _Now._ ”

Tweek looked up with wide, pleading eyes. “T-time as in…how long?”

“The day is nearly at its end,” Phillip said somberly, looking towards the door. “The sun is starting to set.”

It was at that moment that Tweek noticed the two monks were…different. They moved slower, almost agonizingly.

“Are you alright?”

“Don’t worry about us,” Terrence said, a soft smile on his face. “I told you, buddy, we’re a little past our prime. Just a bit spent is all. Now hurry!”

With a reluctant sigh, Tweek stood himself up, trying to find his center. He was a bit unsteady, but fine enough. He just needed to make it back to the horses and away they’d go.

“You good?” Feldspar asked, still holding onto him to provide balance.

“Yeah, let’s just go.” Tweek began to move towards the door. “We have no time to waste. We need to gather up the others and just… pray for a miracle.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im feelin really inspired lately damn
> 
> heres another chapter <3333 love yall

Feldspar hurried behind Tweek as they exited the temple. The sky was already darkening, an entire day wasted on a half-successful training. There were only three days left until Douchebag’s strike, and there was no time to waste. The rest of their party sat just outside the doors, attempting to entertain themselves as they waited. The moment the two emerged, questions began to fly.

“There you guys are!” Token exclaimed, leaping up. “It’s been hours, we were getting worried! How did everything go?”

“We miscalculated how much time we had,” Tweek whispered coldly, still upset with himself for nearly jeopardizing their mission. “We better get moving before it’s too late… that’s even if we have a chance to start with.”

“Tweek, what the f-f-fuck,” Jimmy muttered as everyone stood up, equally confused. “What happened in there?”

“We only completed partial training,” Feldspar tried to explain. Tweek was rushing down the hill towards their horses and supplies now, and they had no choice but to follow after him. “Tweek had a minor incident-”

“I FUCKED UP!” Tweek shouted back, clearly trying to hide tears as he rushed further down the hill, creating distance.

“…either way, we both know the Nagasaki, we just didn’t have as much practice time as planned.” Feldspar hoped the explanation would suffice; he didn’t want to embarrass Tweek any further. “It’s going to be fine; he just got a little panicked. There’s a lot of stress.”

“I don’t understand why he’s in such a huff about it,” Wendy sighed, watching the barbarian descend. “It was just a little error; it’s not the end of the world.”

“You don’t know Tweek then,” Feldspar said softly. “He tends to beat himself up when things don’t go as planned. He’s too hard on himself, but I guess I understand why. I’d just let him be for a while, okay? Try not to talk about it unless you want an arrow in your face while you sleep.” Everyone grimaced at the imagery, but agreed to try and stay away from it.

Once down the hill, they headed back to Harry and Elise’s house to gather their supplies. It was a bit of a rushed stop, everyone feeling the pressure as the sun set before their eyes. With another thank you, a borrowed carrier raven and a promise to come and visit, the questers waved goodbye and moved towards the entrance of the village where their horses had been camped.

“Ahhh, Stripe, I’ve never been happier to see you,” Feldspar whispered to their horse, petting the bridge of her nose. “You ready to go home, girl?”

Tweek swung a bag of supplies onto the horse, unable to help cracking a smile. “I think we’re _all_ ready to go home.” There was an unusual nervousness in his voice that Feldspar couldn’t help but pick up on.

“ _Tweeeeeeek_ ,” he sing-songed, giving him a look.

“ _Craaaaaaaaig_ ,” the barbarian echoed back.

“Come here, you asshole,” Feldspar laughed, holding out his arms. “One last kiss before we hit the road?” He had a feeling Tweek really needed some affection right now with how short they were cut off at the temple.

“Fine,” Tweek grumbled, rolling his eyes. “I swear, you’re so needy.” He trudged forward and kissed him before he more-or-less collapsed into Feldspar’s arms, forehead buried in his chest. “Hug me before I punch you.”

“That’s an interesting way of asking for affection. First you kiss me, then you call me needy, then you insult me!” Feldspar chuckled, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. The barbarian sure had some odd ways of saying ‘I love you’. He squeezed him tightly, kissing the top of his head. “You alright? You don’t seem like yourself. You’re being…uh… aggressive. More than usual, I mean.” He didn’t want to mention how shaky he seemed, knowing Tweek would subconsciously take that as an insult to weakness.

“Just… frustrated, I guess,” Tweek muttered, face still smushed into Feldspar. “I really, _really_ –ngh-- fucked up back there.”

“Nah, you did fine. I think your Nagasaki was stronger than mine, I could feel it. You’ve got it down,” Feldspar said in his most soothing voice. “We’ve got nothing to worry about.” He didn’t really know about that, but he wasn’t about to let his boyfriend down.

“You don’t have to lie to me.”

“I’m being completely serious, asshole,” Feldspar teased, ruffling his hair before pulling away. “Look at me. Is this the face of a liar?”

“No,” Tweek sighed, admitting defeat. “Its fine, I promise. Once we get on the road I’ll just pout for a while and get it out of my system. I’m sure after we make camp I’ll be out like a light, and tomorrow morning we can get a fresh start.”

“Do you think we’ll make it home by tomorrow night?” Feldspar asked, letting go of him and beginning to mount their horse.

“With any luck, nothing will hold us up. We’ve had a lot of unconventional delays the last few nights, that’s for sure. If we make good time through the woods and Ike is on time to pick us up from that carrier raven Chris is sending out, we’ll be back in Zaron before sunset.” Tweek checked that the bags were secure before climbing up after him, taking their usual positions.

“To think we can turn our three day trek into a little over one just shows how much the universe hates us,” Feldspar laughed. Everyone was ready to go now, and there was no time to waste. With a quick pull on the reigns, away they went, speeding away from the village and the monks.

The sun finally disappeared from sight as the travelers dashed through the woods, the moon casting dark shadows from the trees above them. With nothing but a lantern at the front of the party, the group moved in twilight. There wasn’t much chatter this time around as they focused on the journey ahead, ensuring that this time, nothing would stop them in their tracks. About two hours after setting out, the found a spot they deemed safe enough to camp for the night. A quick fire was built, some food and fresh water passed around, and everyone quickly prepared for rest.

“We’re going to need to head out bright and early,” Chris instructed. “Try to sleep the best you can, but prepare for a swift departure in the morning.”

“Thanks, captain obvious,” Stan muttered, laying out a blanket onto the ground of the clearing. Like the nights before, he and Wendy were sharing a bed.

“Cut him some slack, it’s not his fault he’s stupid,” Wendy joked, giving Stan a nudge.

“I’m so glad this trip is almost over,” Chris sighed, rubbing his head. “I need some time _alone._ Preferably with the king and the other royal knights... You know… _sane_ people.”

Tweek couldn’t help but giggle, laying out his own blankets for him and Feldspar. As everyone else began to lie down, he held out his arms to his boyfriend, beckoning him closer. “You heard what Chris said, rest up.”

“Alright, alright, I’m coming,” the thief whispered back, sitting down on the blanket and whipping off his cape. “One cape blanket, coming up.”

Tweek giggled, a hand pressed over his mouth as they snuggled up under it. “Remember the first time we slept like this?”

“You mean like… _that_ kind of sleep or-”

Tweek punched him hard in the gut. “No, dumbass, keep it in your pants, I’m trying to be romantic!”

Feldspar only laughed, eliciting a “Shut up and go to sleep!” from Chris.

Tweek dropped his voice to a whisper, close to Feldspar’s ear. “No, really, I mean when like… we first met. When Jimmy was leading us through the woods and we set up camp. I’ve been thinking about that.”

“How come? It was just us in the dirty woods on the cold ground. I wouldn’t exactly call it romantic.”

Tweek rolled his eyes. “You just don’t get it. Like… what you said to me. We had just shared some stories around the campfire, and I began to talk about…about me being the king and all. You remember that?”

“Yeah,” Feldspar breathed, eyes starting to droop with exhaustion.

“Well… all I can remember is when we laid down together, you told me that whatever happened, you thought I was brave and…and strong. Did you mean that?” Tweek shifted so their foreheads touched, listening to nothing but their breathing and the crackling of the fire.

“Of course I did,” Feldspar said, giving him another gentle kiss. “I promise, no matter what happens, you’ll always be the smartest, bravest, _strongest_ person I ever met.”

Tweek smiled softly, relaxing. “I love you, Craig.”

“I love you too, Tweek.”

With that, the two of them began to drift to sleep in the happiest mood possible when impending doom was just around the corner.

 

* * *

 

He promised himself he would only stay until the candles burned out, but he couldn’t tear himself away. Not tonight. There were only three days left until Douchebag would return, and what then?

“Kyle?”

The new voice made the king jump, looking up towards the door. He had been so distracted he never sensed his counterpart coming down the hall. “Yeah?”

The wizard slowly slid into the room, looking concerned. “How’s he doing?”

“Not good,” the elf king sighed, eyes drifting back to the young man lying in bed. His skin had a slight green tint to it as he lay in feverish sleep. “He still hasn’t spoken a word, and he’s looking sicker by the day. I’m… I’m afraid Douchebag has too strong of a hold on him now. He’s just taunting us, he’s…” He trailed off, eyes squeezing shut in an attempt to stop the tears threatening to form in his eyes. “This is a worse torment than being separated. To know my… _our_ son…”

“…is right in front of us, and we can’t do anything,” Eric finished, a grim expression on his face. He grabbed the spare stool and dragged it closer to the bed, sitting beside the elf. “This is just a waiting game now, isn’t it?”

“Waiting for the heroes, waiting for Douchebag to strike, it’s never ending,” Kyle said, biting his lip. “The worst feeling in the world is when your kingdom is crumbling before your eyes and you can’t dare to move.”

“Hey, come on, don’t be so sad,” the wizard grumbled, trying to hide his distress with his usual aloofness. “We made it through ten years of being broken, I think we can make it through a little more.”

Kyle sighed, leaning forward and kissing his son on the forehead. As he adjusted his blankets he whispered a quiet prayer that he would rest peacefully tonight. “The stakes are just too high this time for me to be so sure.”

 

* * *

 

Just as promised, the second the sun began to peer over the horizon, the group began to wake. Their moment of peace had come to an end- it was day five, and they were nearly home. If they arrived that night, that would leave them two days to plan and prepare for battle.

“Good morning, sleepy head,” Tweek whispered, gently shaking Feldspar awake. “You’d better get up before Chris starts making me bang pots and pans.”

Feldspar rolled over, hands pressed over his eyes. “Jeez, it’s early…”

“We’ve got a long day of riding ahead. Unless you wanna fall off the horse, I suggest you wake the fuck up,” the barbarian scoffed playfully, pressing a kiss to his nose. “Up you go, it’s day _five._ ”

“Day five, damn,” Feldspar mumbled, sitting up. He rubbed his eyes a bit and yawned, struggling to his feet. Everyone else was also waking up except for Chris, who was standing by his horse, ready to go.

“What a fucking show-off, can’t you sleep like the rest of us for once?” Stan grumbled, giving Chris a shove as he wandered into the woods.

“Hurry up and take your piss so we can get on the road,” Chris retorted. “At least _I’m_ ready.”

“Everyone sure is c-c-cranky this mo…morning,” Jimmy commented, preparing his horse. “It’s a-almost like we’re all a-a-adventured out.”

“I’d say,” Tweek laughed, climbing up onto their horse. “Come on, Craig, up you go. We’re trying to reach Ike’s ship by the afternoon. Jimmy suspects that this time we’ll be going with the flow of the water, so we’ll get across faster.”

“That’s good news if I ever heard it,” Feldspar sighed, a happy expression on his face. Once everyone was ready to go they set off, galloping through the trees.

“Aren’t we coming up to sparkleclan soon?” Token asked, looking around. “Wendy, are you…uh… coming with us?”

Wendy sighed, shaking her head. “As much as I’d love to visit Zaron, I’ve got my own business to attend to. My camp needs me, ya know? Once we meet up with them, I’ll be departing.”

Stan was clearly hiding his unhappiness with a fake smile. He’d become rather attached to the other warrior. “You’ll come and visit though, right?”

“If you open your gate, I’ll gladly come chill in your territory,” Wendy laughed, eliciting a glare from Chris. “We can duke it out with some swords- all in good fun though, no need for a to-the-death match… I mean, unless someone wanted to.”

Everyone nervously chuckled, exchanging glances.

In no time at all they were back at the sparkleclan territory, greeted by dozens of cheering women.

“I guess this is where we part,” Wendy said, giving a quick salute. “Good luck with Zaron. I’ve got your back if you ever come this way again, got it? Thanks for takin’ me to the temple. I’m glad I got to see it for myself.”

“Thanks for traveling with us,” Tweek said, unable to help feeling a little disappointed to be parting ways. “You’ve really livened up the journey, that’s for sure.”

Everyone waved goodbye, ready to head back on their way after a quick rest stop under the clan’s protection. It was nearing noon with how the sun was looming, and Ike was supposed to be waiting for them.

“Not much longer n-now,” Jimmy said, pointing ahead. “I can sense they’re pretty close to us.”

“Jeez, I can’t wait to be home,” Token sighed, looking longingly towards the sky. “I haven’t seen the tavern or my wife in over a week. Once we get this battle over with I am _out of here._ ”

“I’m sure we’d all love to return to our normal lives,” Feldspar sighed. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m really sick and tired of all this ‘go do this, go do that, you’re the chosen heroes’ nonsense.”

“Yeah,” everyone echoed at once, causing a few giggles.

In what felt like no time, the ship was within sight as they exited the thick woods.

“Call me a terrible elf, but I’ve never been so happy to be away from fucking _trees,_ ” Stan gasped, extending his arms towards the ocean. “Bless the sea…bless the ship…take me home…”

Chris, despite his usual aloofness, cracked a giggle. “Alright Stan, chill out. We’re not ‘out of the woods’ quite yet…well I mean, we _are_ out of the woods, but metaphorically, we still got long to go.”

The closer they got to the ship, the better they could see the waving children from the deck. A welcoming party didn’t sound too bad at that point.

“Hey, glad to see you didn’t die!” Ike called out, slowly lowering the loading dock. “I half expected you get lost out there. You’ve gotta tell me all about it once you get up here, mates!”

The horses were loaded like their first boarding and taken down below. With no hesitation the ship started off, back into northern territory. Everyone on board released their tension, feeling a tad bit safer. There was nothing they could do now but enjoy the ride back to Zaron and hope it was still put together by the time they got there.

Tweek and Feldspar sat near the front of the ship just like the morning they had arrived on the southern side of the water, hands clasped tightly as they watched the water below them.

“This is nice,” Tweek whispered, watching with a much more relaxed expression on his face. He had soothed his twitching back to his more confident state, hoping it would last.

“In a few days, it’ll be back to just us, like you wanted. We can sit in the barbarian camp and just… you know, do calm, non-adventure stuff,” Feldspar said. “Stuff like… like this!” He quickly smooched Tweek on the forehead, poking at his side.

“You’re a dork,” Tweek laughed, poking him back. His attention turned back to the water, watching as the ship disrupted the calmness into little ripples. “You’re right though. Just you and me.” The thought seemed so close and yet so far away.

A few hours passed before the heavy thunk of the ship hitting land signaled its passengers that it was time to go. The travelers unloaded and said goodbye, a hopeful feeling in their hearts as they began their way towards Zaron’s gates. It wouldn’t be long now until they’d be back in their home kingdom.

“Once we approach the gates into the Elven Forest, I’ll signal for them to open for us,” Chris said, an unusually cheery tone in his voice. “We’ll ride right through towards the northern castle where the kings will be waiting for us. At this rate, we’ll be there by nightfall.”

“Thank the gods,” Token muttered, but he seemed equally cheery. “I mean, when we get there we’re going into battle, but at least we’ll be home.”

“At least we’ll be home,” Tweek echoed, nodding his head. He seemed almost distant, staring far beyond the road in front of them.

“You alright, b-barbarian?” Jimmy asked, almost mischievous.

“Keep your perception to yourself,” Tweek snapped, shooting him a glance.

After a few more hours of riding, the group could see the large wall that surrounded Zaron’s boarder. As promised, Chris began to signal, the large gate opening up for them. Cheering could be heard from the elves stationed at the top of the wall, waving arms and smiling faces peering over the edge. They rode right in, not even stopping as they continued their way towards the castle.

“This is the home stretch,” Stan said, pointing ahead of them. “Just a bit longer; we need to cross the forest into the human faction.” There was silence except for the sound of their horses’ feet upon the ground for the next hour until they decided to take a quick rest in an open clearing. Everyone dismounted to stretch and eat and feed the horses.

“You’re being awful quiet,” Feldspar commented, watching as his boyfriend dug through their supplies. “Something up? I thought you said you were over your whole…issue.”

Tweek glanced up, shaking his head. “Nah…just tired,” he said. “This trip has me worn out. I need some stress relief.” From the supplies he produced his quiver of arrows, holding them up. “You wanna come with me? I’m just gonna shoot at a few trees.”

“Sure, I got nothing else better to do,” the thief replied, swiftly joining his boyfriend as they began to walk towards the edge of the clearing and into the trees. By habit their hands met and clasped tightly, walking side by side until Tweek stopped them.

“Alright, this seems like a good place.” He let go of Feldspar’s hand only to hold it out to him, fingers wiggling. “Can I borrow your knife?”

“Uh…I guess so. You making a target?” Feldspar quickly stooped to his knee, reaching into his boot where he kept the blade.

“Yeah, it helps to have somewhere to aim.” Tweek took it from him, taking a few paces forward to a thick oak tree. With the tip of the knife he hacked at the wood, creating a perfect X in the center. There. With another deep breath, he began to walk backwards, eyes trained on his mark. Feldspar followed him, still right by his side. “Take the knife,” the barbarian commanded, holding it back out to him. “I need both hands.”

Feldspar nodded, taking the knife and watching intently. He could recall just a week ago standing in the barbarian village, watching Tweek perform this exact practice. “Don’t hesitate,” he whispered, glancing at him.

“I’m not,” Tweek replied, voice almost hostile. He quickly pulled an arrow from the quiver, sliding it into position on his bow. “I’m not gonna let anyone down, not ever again.” He stared at the mark, taking another deep breath. His body was tense with determination. “Douchebag has no hold on me. I know the Nagasaki now; I’m just as strong as he is.”

“That’s right,” Feldspar echoed encouragingly.

“I am the king of the barbarians. I am…I am strong.” His voice wavered slightly as he pulled back, almost glaring at the mark on the tree. “And…and I’m gonna shoot this arrow straight into the tree like I’m gonna shoot straight into his heart.”

Feldspar’s expression changed to worry. “You’re stalling.”

“No I’m not,” Tweek breathed, fingers shaking as he pulled the arrow back. “I’m not stalling, I’m-”

The sound of yelling distracted him from his work. He quickly relaxed, aiming back towards the ground as he looked towards the clearing.

“Fuck,” Feldspar breathed, grabbing his hand by instinct and pulling him towards the others.

“What was that?” Tweek asked, struggling to return his arrow into the quiver as they ran. Soon enough they were back in the clearing with the rest of the group. “Why are you yelling?”

“We’ve got a biiiiig problem approaching,” Stan said, eyes focused into the distance. “Look.”

Tweek’s eyes darted towards where he was looking, mouth falling open. Before them stood a hoard of green, undead beings. “C-Craig, is…”

Feldspar squeezed his hand, trying to control himself. “I…I was r-right…he said he was going to attack and he is!” His legs were shaking now as they came closer, making impossibly fast progress.

“He’s trying to fuck with us,” Stan said, pulling his sword out. “Stand your ground; we might have to fight back.”

“There’s too many to fight!” Tweek gasped, pulling Feldspar close. He began to whisper to him, trying to calm him. “Come on, Craig, there was nothing you could have done about it, don’t start freaking out! You’re getting me all weirded out now too…”

“S-sorry,” the thief whispered, trying to keep himself together.

“The barbarian is right,” Chris said, taking a step back. “Everyone, get back on your horses.”

“What?” Stan asked, looking back at him. “Are you fucking crazy?”

“No, I’m not!” Chris shouted back, taking another step. “Just listen to me, okay? If we get back on our horses and charge forward we have a better chance of surviving. Just weave around them and try to get through. We can’t afford to lose anyone!”

“I second that,” Token said quickly, running back towards his horse.

“Craig, let’s go,” Tweek whispered, pulling him along. Everyone seemed equally in favor of the plan, mounting their horses again.

“Follow me and try to stick together!” Chris shouted. “Keep your weapons ready!” With that they began to charge forward into the mass of green. The bodies were spread enough apart to weave through them as Chris had explained. Everyone began to dart this way and that, trying to stay close together.

“Just hold on tight, I’m gonna try to speed up,” Tweek said, pulling Feldspar closer to him on their horse. He yanked at the reigns and yelled out, skillfully dodging a large mass of undead barreling towards them.

“Jesus, that was close!” Feldspar gasped, clinging to him. “At this rate, we’ll-”

Before he could finish their sentence, both of them went flying from their horse. A hoard of Douchebag’s army had slammed into them, sending them rolling.

“CRAIG!” Tweek shouted, trying to steady himself as he flew upright. His bow was immediately in his hands, arrow loaded as he turned to aim at one of the creatures.

“TWEEK!” Feldspar yelled back, pulling his own weapon out of his boot. It was chaos as the beings were upon them, closing in.

The barbarian just stared at its sickly face, starting to tremble. No, not now, not now! His hands shook as he froze, unable to move. His emotions began to well up inside him as Feldspar continued to scream his name, almost begging him to fire.

“I-I’m s-sorry,” he whispered, a single tear falling from his cheek. “I…I can’t do it…”

“TWEEK! HELP!” Feldspar screamed again. All at once, Tweek snapped out of it, head jerking to where the sound had come from. A monster had grasped at each of Feldspar’s limbs, knocking him to the ground.

“NO!” Tweek suddenly shouted, all of his strength returning to him. Not Feldspar, not today! He pulled back the arrow and fired it into the face of the undead in front of him. He then took off sprinting towards the thief, pulling arrows and firing them faster than he ever had before. Monsters were falling all around him until he reached the group attacking Feldspar. Bam, bam, bam, the arrows went flying right into their heads, knocking them aside.

“TWEEK!” Feldspar screamed again as he watched him mow them down, darting left and right and all around just as skillfully as he had prior to the moment that had instilled so much fear in him. The barbarian would not stop to even breathe, the instincts he had struggled to retain all rushing back to him.

“Get out of here, now!” he shouted, grabbing Feldspar off the ground and practically throwing him in the direction of the horse they had abandoned. “Retreat, tell them to retreat!” With that, he took off running towards the middle of the attackers.

“Tweek, Tweek wait,” Feldspar gasped, stumbling to his feet as he watched him go. “Oh my fucking—TWEEK, YOU IDIOT, DON’T DO IT!” He scrambled backwards towards the horse, quickly mounting it and attempting to move backwards. He needed to get out of range despite his urge to run in after him. He began to shout to the others to move backwards, struggling to keep his eye on the barbarian as he weaved between the monsters, still shooting.

“What the FUCK is that dumbass doing now?!” Stan shouted, taking notice.

Tweek was struggling to breathe, his lungs feeling like they would give out at any second. As soon as he felt he was far enough away he let out a heave, stopping in his tracks. He knew the risk he was taking, but it was the only way. He wasn’t going to give Douchebag the satisfaction of winning. He wasn’t about to lose his friends. He wasn’t about to lose Feldspar.

With a gasping breath and a few more tears rolling down his cheeks, he threw his arms up into the air, eyes towards the sky. A deep rumble emitted from the ground as he whispered a short prayer in barbaric. Just as quickly as it had started, he threw himself to one knee, an explosion of smoke filling the entire area. The men on horseback fell to the ground, the undead flying in all directions.

Everything went silent.

Feldspar slowly sat up from where the explosion had thrown him, feeling disoriented. As the smoke began to clear he realized what Tweek had done. The words of the monks came back to him- _if you make a mistake, the magic will leave you too weak to flee._ “TWEEK!” he screamed for what felt the millionth time, taking off running on wobbly feet towards where the blast had come from.

Bodies of stilled green monsters lay everywhere, returned to their dead state. He stumbled and leapt around them, trying to stay focused as tears began to run down his cheeks. “Please, please be okay, _please,_ ” he begged silently, only stopping when he saw the barbarian laying on the ground in front of him, surrounded by bodies.

“Oh my god,” Feldspar gasped, falling down beside him. “Tweek, hey, hey, I’m…I’m here,” he whispered, pulling him into his arms.

Tweek weakly opened his eyes, looking up to meet Feldspar’s blue. A small smile played across his lips, a look of satisfaction on his face. A shaking hand reached up to touch Feldspar’s cheek.

“I did it,” he breathed.


	13. Chapter 13

“Holy SHIT dude! Are you guys alright?!”

Feldspar’s attention was jerked away from his boyfriend, looking back up the hill to find Stan leading their group towards them. Tweek was cradled in his arms, still too weak to move.

“There was a blast and then Feldspar took off running, what the hell were you thinking?” Chris scolded, stumbling as he stopped next to them. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah,” Feldspar said, still out of breath from sprinting through the mass of bodies. “I think he’ll be fine, he’s just really out of it right now. It takes a lot of energy to do the Nagasaki.”

“So I was right,” Token said, joining them. “That was the Nagasaki?”

“Yeah… and it saved all of us.” Feldspar gently brushed a few strands of hair from Tweek’s face, adjusting his crown of thorns. “I knew he could do it.” Tweek just weakly smiled back, too exhausted to do anything more.

“Here, let me see,” Token said quickly, dropping to his knees beside them. “I might have something to help.” He began to dig through the medicine pouch he kept on his belt, searching. “Try this.” He produced a small bottle of purple liquid. “I’m not sure how much it will do, but it might relieve some of the ache.”

Feldspar took it from him and pulled off the cork. “Drink up,” he whispered, putting it to the barbarian’s lips. Tweek quickly drank it down, sighing with relief.

“You had us all w-w-worried,” Jimmy said, staring at Tweek. “I’d advise not p-p-pulling a stunt like that a…again.”

“S-sorry,” Tweek whispered, coughing slightly before looking to Feldspar. “Sit me up a little?”

“Yeah,” the thief said, propping him upright. “Is the medicine helping?”

“A bit,” he replied, breathing still labored. “They weren’t kidding…when they said… it takes a lot out of you.”

“We’re just glad you didn’t chicken out again,” Stan said. Chris smacked him hard in the stomach, giving him a glare.

“H-he doesn’t mean it,” Chris stuttered, looking back to Tweek.

“It’s fine,” Tweek muttered, shaking his head. His eyes began to focus better now, darting around the clearing at all of the bodies. “Are…are they…”

“Yeah,” Feldspar said, following his gaze. “Dead again, like they’re supposed to be.”

“What a mess,” Chris said. “We’ll have to come clean this up later. For now though, we need to focus on getting to the castle.”

“I…Chris, I don’t think that’s necessary.” Stan pointed into the distance, causing everyone to turn and look. Approaching them was a large army of horses, soldiers galloping their direction.

“Looks like the castle is coming to us,” Feldspar said, bewildered. He began to wave his free arm at them, getting their attention. Everyone else began to do the same, watching as they drew closer and closer.

“Hey, fellas!” a familiar voice called out.

“I have never been happier to see the paladin,” Chris sighed, a huge smile on his face. “BUTTERS! OVER HERE!”

The horse rode closer, stopping just before them. The rest of the soldiers followed. “Gee, we didn’t expect to see you guys here,” Butters said, looking down at them. “We headed out this way to take care of these monster things, see, but now they’re dead… how did you do it?”

“The mission was successful,” Chris replied, gesturing to Tweek. “The barbarian and thief have learned the Nagasaki.”

Butters just nodded, a smile on his face. “The kings will be happy to see your return. They’ve been awful worried up in the castle. Things aren’t going too well in your absence.”

“Then we’d better start heading back. It’s getting late,” Feldspar said, looking up to the sky. The sun was getting lower. “We have two days left until the battle… I’m sure they want to start talking strategy.”

Butters nodded again, signaling to his group. “We’ll start heading back- do you all have your horses?”

“We do, but Tweek is injured and Feldspar is a shit rider,” Token commented, eliciting a scowl from the thief. “We need help getting them back.”

“No problem, fellas, we brought a medical cart with us in case we had to fight those monsters. We’ll get you back safe and sound!” Butters waved his arm again and a horse began to pull forward, pulling a covered wagon.

“Thank you,” Feldspar breathed, looking back at Tweek. He was doing a little better, but he was in no shape to ride a horse. “Token, help me get him up, I don’t know if he can stand.”

Token stepped forward, offering his arm. Together, the two of them managed to get the barbarian to a standing position, his arms around each of their shoulders. He was still unsteady on his feet, even with the support. The two of them half walked, half carried him forward until they reached the cart. With a bit of effort they managed to get him inside, lying down on a blanket.

 “You good staying with him alone?” Token asked, taking note of a lack of medical help.

“We’ll be fine, he just needs to rest,” Feldspar replied, sitting down beside Tweek. “Go join the others. The sooner we get out of here, the better.”

Token turned around and closed the door to the cart, leaving them alone. In a few minutes time, the wagon lurched forward. They were finally heading back to the castle.

“You doing alright?” Feldspar asked for what felt the millionth time.

“I told you…I’m fine,” Tweek sighed, still out of breath. He lay on his back, arms folded on his chest. He was in no mood to move. “Just a little…a little tired. It’s getting better though.”

Feldspar smiled at him, a look of relief on his face. “Good, good.” He paused, looking towards the door of the cart as it rattled with their movement. “Was it hard?”

“The Nagasaki?”

“Yeah.”

“N…no, I don’t think so.” Tweek shifted his head to the side so he could see him better. “It just sort of happened. Out of nowhere. I was…I was scared we were…were gonna die. So I ran and just threw myself into it.” His sentences were broken as he took deep breaths between them. “I didn’t really have to…to think about it.”

Feldspar continued staring at the door, hands pulling his knees close to his chest.

“Craig?”

“Yeah?”

“Come here.”

Feldspar let go of his legs, wiggling a bit so he could lower himself to the bottom of the cart. Soon he was lying down beside Tweek, curling next to him. “What?”

“I don’t know. Just wanted you closer.”

Feldspar gave a soft giggle, kissing his cheek. “I’m right here, don’t worry.”

Tweek struggled to move his head, planting a gentle kiss right back. His fingers wiggled as he moved his arm, managing to catch Feldspar’s hand. He squeezed it, staring up at the ceiling of the covered wagon. He couldn’t help but pick out shapes in the discolored wood, trying to keep himself distracted from the ache in his body.

“This is kinda like the carts at home, huh?” Feldspar asked suddenly.

“In the village? Hah…no,” Tweek said, voice a bit stronger now. “Ours are better than this.”

“You think so?”

“The door doesn’t rattle when we travel.” They both fell silent, listening to it shake and jostle about before giggling.

“I wouldn’t have known. It’s not like I’ve ever been in one.”

“Yes you have,” Tweek gasped playfully, arm strong enough to give him a shove. “Do you not remember when we first met?”

“The wagon was stationary,” Feldspar said bluntly, still staring at the ceiling. “I’ve never _ridden in one._ But yes, I do remember that day. You insulted me and pointed an arrow at me, I don’t think I could ever forget.”

Tweek laughed, rolling to his side so he could kiss his cheek again. “Well, that’s what you get from trying to steal from me.” He closed his eyes, letting out another sigh. “When this is all over…and when we get back home… I’ll show you what a _real_ wagon is like.”

Felspar gave him a small smile, but his eyes were full of worry. “Promise?”

“I promise.”

He really hoped they’d get to make it home.

 

* * *

 

He stepped forward into the clearing, shaking his head. “ _Disgusting_. Who knew a stupid, weak attack could destroy my entire _army._ ” He kicked at the ground, watching the dirt fly. “ _Absolutely disgusting._ ”

“That’s an interesting choice of words,” Kenny said, looking around at the mess. She took a bit of her skirt in each hand, daintily stepping around a few bodies. “I told you this was a bad idea. I told you to keep your army at the hideout, but _noooooo, we have to go and tease them._ Now what?”

“Everything’s going to be fine,” Douchebag hissed, gloved fists clenched tightly. His tone of voice said otherwise. He stepped further into the clearing, cape trailing behind him as he assessed the damage to his undead army. “I’m still stronger.” His ominous voice had a hint of worry.

Kenny didn’t say anything, her lips pressed firmly together. She knew that words would only fuel the rage bubbling somewhere below that hood. Instead, she turned her attention back to one of the monsters lying at her feet. The green tint had vanished from its skin, leaving it pale and cold. It was just a normal human corpse now.

“This is just perfect,” Douchebag muttered again, starting to pace. In a fit of frustration he kicked at a body, hands pulling at his cape. “This is just _perfect._ ”

“You don’t sound very confident,” Kenny noted, unable to help herself. “Do we even have enough time to brew up another batch and bring at least some of them back?”

“No.” Douchebag turned back around, head hanging low. “We don’t have time. _We don’t have any time_. We’re going to end up going into this without an army.”

“ _We?_ ” Kenny asked, eyes widening. “I…y-you never said anything about _me_ fighting-”

“If you want to win this, I’m going to need your help!” Douchebag suddenly shouted, pointing a finger at her. “If you had just done what I asked in the first place, if you had kept this a secret from the thief, if you had prepared enough potion to send our army to _stop them from traveling south in the first place,_ NONE OF THIS WOULD BE AN ISSUE!”

Kenny stumbled backwards, hands protectively out in front of her. “D-Douchebag p-please,” she begged, “I just wanted you b-back, I didn’t want any of this, I didn’t want-”

“I told you Kenny, I changed. If you wanted us to just skip on our merry way around the gardens and go back to how things were, you’re dead wrong.” His voice dropped back to normal as he lowered his hand, adjusting his hood a bit before sighing. “Let’s just get back to the hideout before someone sees us out here. The last thing we need is to blow cover.”

Kenny just stared at the ground, a tear trickling down her cheek. She glanced back at the mess of bodies, guilt swelling in her chest. This was all her fault, and now there was nothing she could do to stop him. All she could do was pray for a miracle that Tweek and Feldspar were strong enough to send him back where he came from. With another sigh and a quick brush at her cheek, she turned to follow him back towards the castle.

 

* * *

 

After a few hours of lying together, the wagon came to a rough stop.

“Finally,” Tweek sighed, sitting up. Most of his strength had returned to him now, leaving him able to move about. “Let me out of this bumpy thing!”

Feldspar giggled, offering him an arm. “Come on, the kings are probably waiting for us. The sooner we meet with them, the better.” He allowed Tweek to grab onto his arm before shoving open the door and carefully climbing out of the wagon. The sun was just starting to set now, disappearing behind the trees surrounding the castle. As he turned around, the familiar sight of the large entrance greeted him. It felt like much longer than five days since he had last been inside.

“Hey, Tweek, you feeling better?” Stan called, jumping off his horse and moving over to him. “You’re walking now, at least.”

“Yeah, much better,” the barbarian replied, grinning. The pride of what he’d done was finally able to set in. He’d done the Nagasaki and destroyed Douchebag’s army all on his own.

“Good. Me and Chris are going to escort the rest of you into the castle to see the kings- they’re apparently very eager to see you.” Stan gestured towards the door where the others were gathering. Together, the two heroes continued to link arms as they went to join them. Stan and Chris took hold of the heavy doors, one each, and yanked them wide open. “Let’s go.”

The group entered the castle’s grand ballroom, taking in the familiar entrance. The lights were dimmed low, nobody in sight.

“Where are they?”  Token asked, looking around. “I thought you said they wanted to see us right away.”

The two warriors looked around, equally confused. “I’m not sure,” Chris admitted. “Should I go investigate?”

“No need,” a voice called from the end of the hallway. In came the Grand Wizard, staff in hand. “Sorry I’m late; we didn’t expect you to arrive so soon.”

“Is something wrong, sir?” Stan asked, giving a quick bow. Chris followed.

“Other than the state of our kingdom, no.” He smirked at his joke, despite a lack of laughter. “Kyle will be here in a moment… it took a bit of convincing to get him out of that damn bedroom. I swear he hasn’t left since we got back after the ceremony.”

“How is Clyde doing?” Feldspar asked, worried.

“Not good. He won’t say anything and…” The wizard trailed off, biting his lip. “He’s… looking a bit green.”

Everyone was silent, understanding what he meant. Douchebag wasn’t intending to let go of him any time soon.

“We’re sorry about your son,” Tweek said softly, trying to break the awkward silence.

“He’ll be fine,” Eric insisted, but Tweek could see right through his false confidence. He was terrified under that smug expression.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” came a new voice, now entering the ballroom. The elf king hurried in, unable to hide the distress on his face. The bags under his eyes showed just how little he had been able to rest. Everyone did another quick bow at his entrance.

“Your highnesses, we’ve successfully completed our quest,” Chris said, gesturing to everyone beside him. “The thief and the barbarian possess the Nagasaki.”

“Thank _god,_ ” Kyle sighed, looking relieved. “Do you think it’ll work against Douchebag?”

“Tweek recklessly s-showed us in battle what it can d…do,” Jimmy commented. “It’s strong a-alright.”

Tweek nodded, shifting uncomfortably. “It knocked out Douchebag’s army, so I’d hope so.”

Both kings gasped in surprise. “You mean the army is gone?” Kyle asked.

“It appears so. I took out everything in the area.”

“That’s one less thing to deal with,” Eric said, seeming equally relieved. “With that out of the way, we can focus all our energy onto Douchebag. Did the monks tell you anything of use?”

Tweek tried to think back. They had learned the Nagasaki, and the monks had told them about Douchebag’s story, but he didn’t think that would help at all in battle. “There was a sort of prophecy,” he said, suddenly remembering the glass windows. “It depicted us bringing Douchebag down in battle. I guess that means we have a pretty good shot.”

Both kings seemed much less stressed now, nodding with understanding. “We can only hope,” Kyle said, hands clasped tightly together. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some things to attend to. Help yourself to a meal and your rooms… tomorrow will be a busy day.” With that, he ran back out of the ballroom.

“You’re lucky he even came down here,” Eric commented, shaking his head. “I’ll be back later. Just don’t break any shit, got it?” With that, away he went.

“You heard them, let’s get you all to your rooms. We have a full day tomorrow, and you should be rested.” Chris gestured towards the end of the ballroom.

“W-wait,” Tweek said suddenly, a strange expression on his face. Everyone turned to look at him. “Me and Craig will be up soon. We just need a moment.”

Feldspar stared at him with confusion. “We do?”

“That’s fine, just come up when you’re ready.” Chris shrugged his shoulders and began to lead Token towards the door. Jimmy lingered.

“What are you u-up to?” he teased, catching Tweek’s eye.

“I thought I told you to keep your perception to yourself,” the barbarian threatened, a blush on his face. “Come on, if you know what’s going on, I suggest you give us some privacy.”

Jimmy just grinned, his crutches clicking against the floor as he walked away.

“Tweek?” Feldspar asked again, still incredibly confused. “I… I don’t understand, what’s going on?”

Tweek stepped closer, a soft smile on his face. “I was thinking we could go for a walk outside, just the two of us.” He took both of Feldspar’s hands, giving him a quick kiss. “These last few days have been stressful. I think we need a little time to ourselves, don’t you think?”

“Uh…sure,” Feldspar said, shrugging his shoulders. He mimicked his smile, unable to help himself. “I guess a walk before bed would be nice.”

Hand in hand, the two turned around and walked back out the large double door at the front of the ballroom. The sky was dark now, stars twinkling softly in the sky. A gentle breeze blew through the trees, rustling them as they walked towards them.

“The woods?” Feldspar asked, letting Tweek lead.

Tweek smiled, continuing to lead him right into the forest. “Trust me, there’s a reason.” There was a hint of nervousness in his voice as they walked down a dirt path, the moon above them illuminating their faces. When he felt like they were deep enough he stopped, staring up at the sky.

Feldspar stood beside him, looking up as well. “It’s dark,” he commented.

Tweek giggled. “It sure is, Craig, it sure is.” He paused, starting to tremble, nervousness taking over.

“You alright?” Feldspar asked, concerned. This was really weird. “You’re not acting like yourself.”

“Shh,” Tweek said sharply, shaking his head. “Just… Craig, do you remember that first night after I met you, and you were hiding up in the trees?”

“Yeah?”

Tweek looked at the necklace around his neck, sighing softly as memories flooded through him. Sometimes he wore it, and sometimes Feldspar wore it, but it was always close by. “I walked deep into the woods with the necklace glowing, and you remember where it led me?”

Feldspar didn’t say anything, just staring at Tweek.

“It lead me to _you.”_ Tweek took another shaky breath, trying to steady himself. He reached out and took Feldspar’s hand again, wandering further into the woods. “From that moment, I was stuck with you… but I didn’t mind it. In fact, you helped me realize what I really needed.” They stopped again and Tweek took both of his hands, looking right into his eyes.

“Tweek, I…” Feldspar just stared at him, shaking his head. “What is this?”

“I needed _you_ ,” Tweek finished, still shaking as he stared into his eyes. “When we went into the woods that night in the Elven Kingdom and you kissed me, I just knew that it was true. We were meant to be together.”

Feldspar shook his head in bewilderment, giving a nervous laugh. “Tweek, this is weirding me out…”

“Craig.” They were facing each other now, eye to eye, both hands clasped. “Us barbarian’s believe that when souls are joined together, they’ll always be able to find each other, even after death.” Tweek’s eyes darted to Feldspar’s gloved hands, a nervous smile on his face. Carefully, he pulled them off, one at a time until they were bare. “Just in case if… if something were to go wrong, I want us to be able to always find each other.”

“Tweek,” Feldspar said again, eyes wide. He suddenly understood.

Tweek slowly lowered to his knee, looking up at him. In his hand was a circular ring, fashioned from the thin branches of the trees. “Craig, will you marry me?”

Feldspar let go of his hands, both of them flying to his mouth. He could hardly believe what he was hearing. “ _Y-yes_ ,” he squeaked, unable to say anything else. Tweek held out the ring and he gave him his hand, watching as the makeshift branches slid onto his finger.

“I wish I had something nicer, but it was a bit of a last minute idea,” Tweek admitted, standing back up. Feldspar didn’t care- as soon as he was standing, he threw his arms around him, holding him close.

“I couldn’t think of anything better,” he whispered, kissing him. “I couldn’t think of a better boyfriend… a better _husband._ ”

Tweek took his hand again, the nervousness gone. “I love you so much,” he whispered, starting to lead them back towards the castle.

“I love you too,” the thief replied, having never felt happier.

The two made their way through the trees, meandering slowly until they reached the double doors of the castle. As they pushed them open, they were surprised to find everyone gathered in the ballroom, staring eagerly.

“Um… guys?” Tweek asked, looking around. “What are you doing here?”

“Well?” Kyle asked, a strange glimmer in his eyes. “Did he say yes?”

Feldspar grinned, holding up his hand and proudly showing off the ring.

Everyone began to cheer in celebration.

“Wait, how did you all know?!” Tweek gasped, confused.

“S-s-sorry, my fault,” Jimmy admitted, laughing. “I thought w-we should celebrate.”

“We’re _all_ going to celebrate,” Kyle said, raising his arms. “Tomorrow, we’ll hold a proper wedding. I’d have it in the gardens, but they’re a bit torn up… perhaps the field just behind the castle could do.”

“A wedding?” Tweek asked, still bewildered. “A full on wedding?”

“Well, you are engaged, aren’t you?”

“Your highness, with all due respect,” Feldspar stuttered, “do we have that sort of time?”

“Nonsense,” Eric said, unable to help himself. “We have two days until the battle. The least we can do is lighten up a bit and have ourselves a wedding.”

Everyone began to cheer again, the dreadful mood from earlier that day lifted. If a wedding was possible, so was Douchebag’s defeat. Their confidence skyrocketed.

“W-wait,” Jimmy said, raising one of his hands. Everyone settled down, attention captured. “The reason I g-gathered everyone w-wasn’t just to ce…celebrate.” He stepped forward, awkwardly balancing his crutches between his elbow and his body. His hand seemed to be full as he clutched a tight fist. Once he felt close enough to the happy couple, he opened it. “From me and my li…little bird.”

“Oh Jimmy,” Tweek gasped, unable to help himself from putting his hand to his chest. In the now open hand lay two golden rings, tied together with a familiar scrap of yellow fabric.

“These were going to be f-for us, but…” Jimmy trailed off, a sympathetic smile on his face as he stared at the rings. “Well, w-we all know how t-t-that went.”

“You don’t have to,” Feldspar insisted, equally moved by the gesture.

“No, I want you to h-have them.” Jimmy stepped closer again, grabbing Tweek’s free hand and placing the rings inside. “I’d rather see t-them go to use than s-sit in my bag f…forever.”

Tweek marveled at them, turning them gently between his fingers. They were a beautiful gold, engraved with traditional elven patterns. They were absolutely beautiful. He carefully untied the fabric, letting the rings free. “Thank you,” was all he could say as he looked back to Feldspar. He didn’t need to say anything more. The thief presented his left hand, having already removed the crude, makeshift ring from the woods. Tweek carefully slid the new one onto his finger, then the other onto his own.

“This makes it official then, doesn’t it?” Feldspar asked, staring at his finger.

Tweek felt his chest swell with pride and excitement. “Yeah.” He smiled back towards the others. “It sure does.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) i literally wrote this sequel because of this chapter


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the wonderful feedback! This is the longest chapter so far for either book in the series, and rightfully so. On with the wedding!

  Tweek rolled over in bed, eyes fluttering open to the familiar sight of their castle bedroom. It was almost like a second home now, with how often they’d slept there. He rubbed at his eyes, trying to recall how he’d gotten there- when did they go to bed the night before? His attention turned to the large window, the sun just starting to rise. His memory began to return to him as he sat in silent thought. Ah, that was right. With the exciting news, everyone had a few drinks in celebration.

Tweek slowly looked back to the bed, a soft smile on his face. Feldspar lay beside him, still fast asleep. He had been so tired the night before, he had forgotten to remove his hat before going to bed. The barbarian smiled, gently brushing a few stray hairs from his sleeping fiancé’s face before kissing his forehead. He would let him rest a bit longer. He was likely a little hung over again, knowing his drinking habits. Besides, today was a big day. Extra sleep wouldn’t hurt.

Carefully, he climbed out of the bed, the cold floor under his feet sending a shiver up his spine. Well, if he wasn’t awake before, he sure was now. He tiptoed over to the small dresser on the other side of the room, glancing into the mirror. His hair was a wild mess, paint smeared all over. He really needed to stop wearing it to bed. With a sigh, he picked up a cloth lying neatly on the dresser and began to wipe at his face, glancing every few strokes at Feldspar through the mirror. If they survived tomorrow, this could be their future together. He could wake up beside him every morning, do his paints and head out into the barbarian village, the two of them leading side-by-side. It was a nice thought; perhaps unrealistic given the circumstances, but nice nonetheless. The whole point of the wedding was a safety precaution in case that fantasy never came to be.

Wedding. That’s right!

He jumped slightly at the thought. He was really, _really_ getting married today! He knew it all along, but the realization had truly set in. It was _today._ He scrubbed faster at his face, watching the paint disappear until he was back to his pale, freckled complexion. His hazel eyes looked himself over in the mirror, trembling slightly as he examined his features. Under all of the paint and tough act, he was really just a small, thin, timid eighteen year old boy. This wouldn’t do. Not at all.

He dropped the rag back onto the table, making his way back to the bed and climbing onto it. “Craig?” he whispered, looming over his boyfriend and poking him in the arm.

Feldspar grumbled a response, still half asleep. “Hmm?”

“Do you really, _really_ love me?”

Feldspar opened one eye, glancing up at him. “We’re getting married, dumbass,” he muttered sleepily, rolling back over and attempting to fall back asleep.

“Craig!” Tweek whispered again, more urgent. “Are you _sure?_ ”

“We’re _getting married,_ ” he repeated.

Tweek clicked his tongue, shaking his head as he muttered to himself in barbaric. “Idiot…”

“Pardon?”

“Nothing. Go back to sleep.”

Feldspar didn’t have to be asked twice. There was a moment of silence before the sound of his heavy breathing. Tweek shook his head in amusement, climbing back off the bed. He guessed his boyfriend had a point. Even if he was a mess, he must really love him if he agreed to get married. With that anxiety pushed to the side, he made his way back to the dresser, examining himself in the mirror again as he smoothed down his hair.

The sound of someone knocking on their door pulled his attention away from the mirror again. “What?” he called out.

“Sorry to disrupt,” came a voice on the other side. Tweek couldn’t quite tell who it belonged to with how soft they were speaking, but he assumed it was Chris by the formality. “The kings have prepared breakfast, for when you’re ready.”

“We’ll be down soon,” Tweek stated, glancing back at the mirror. He moved for his bag that he had left in the castle during their journey, pulling out his paints. Oh well. Might as well get started while he waited for Feldspar to wake up. Today was a special day, and he wanted to look his best. Using his index finger, he began to trace the intricate patterns along his cheekbones.

“Already gettin’ all dressed up?”

Tweek jumped, attention turning towards the bed. Feldspar was sitting up, looking a little disheveled as he rubbed at his eyes.

“You always tease me for taking forever. I was hoping to be done before you got up. I thought you were tired.” Tweek continued to paint as Feldspar climbed down, walking over to join him by the mirror.

“It looks different today,” he said bluntly, staring at his boyfriend through the mirror.

“It’s celebratory paints. You know, for special occasions.” Despite his usual shaky nature, Tweek’s hands were perfectly still as he decorated himself. “It’s tradition.”

Feldspar carefully sat beside him on the stool near the vanity, intrigued. “Do me too?”

“Hmm?” Tweek again broke focus.

“Put some on me too, then. I mean, don’t wanna break tradition.”

Tweek smiled at him before quickly finishing up his own face. “Take off your hat, let me see.”

Feldspar quickly pulled it off, brushing his wild hair with his fingers. “Eugh…”

“Here, look up at me,” Tweek said, stepping closer. He gently placed one hand under Feldspar’s chin, tilting it upward. “I mean, you look fine without it, but I could do something.”

Feldspar let a small laugh escape him, closing his eyes. “Do whatever you want.”

“I’m surprised you’re as coherent as you are,” Tweek commented, beginning to paint his lover’s face with the most gentle, steady hands he could manage. “I figured you’d be hung over this morning.”

“Oh no, trust me, I feel like shit,” Feldspar muttered, eliciting a few giggles from both of them. “But I’ll manage.”

Tweek shook his head at him as he finished up, admiring his work. Feldspar didn’t look half bad all done up like this. “Look in the mirror. What do you think?”

Feldspar opened his eyes, looking over at himself as instructed. He didn’t say anything at first, too captivated by his reflection.

“Well?”

“I look like you,” he said, a hand gently touching at his cheek as he turned his head side to side. “I mean, that’s not a bad thing. I kinda like it.”

Tweek smiled. Mission accomplished. “Alright, let’s head down to breakfast then.”

“Breakfast is ready and you didn’t tell me?” Feldspar gasped, giving him a playful shove. “Wow, ruuuuude.”

“Don’t hit your husband,” Tweek teased back, beginning to put his things away.

“You’re not my husband _yet,_ ” Feldspar corrected, standing up and brushing at his shirt.

“You have my ring on your finger.”

“Technically it’s Jimmy’s ring.”

“Whatever,” Tweek scoffed, holding out a hand to him. “Let’s just go eat, okay?” The two of them took hands and exited their room, heading along the long hallway and down the stairs. When they entered the dining hall, they found Jimmy, Token, Stan and Chris already waiting for them.

“Nice paint, Feldspar,” Chris said, eyebrows raised. “I thought that was your boyfriend’s thing.”

“It’s a special occasion,” Tweek said, unable to help smiling. “We thought it might look nice.”

Feldspar surveyed the table’s members. “I shouldn’t even bother asking where the kings are at,” he teased, taking a seat and marveling at the large buffet of food set out for them. They always did feed them well at the castle.

“Well, i-in case you w…want to know, they’re c-coming down soon,” Jimmy said, looking towards the ceiling. “They’re j-j-just getting ready.”

“At least they’ll be joining us this morning,” Tweek said, slightly shocked.  With how they’d be acting, he was surprised they’d be willing to throw a wedding at all.

Just as Jimmy predicted, the two kings came walking down the stairs and into the hall.

“Good morning,” Kyle said, voice sharp but still full of anxiety.

“Your highness,” Stan said, a little surprised, “are you alright?”

“I’m fine, Stan,” he replied, taking his seat at the table. “Just a bit excited is all.” He laughed nervously to himself, shaking his head. “I’ve spent the last week in my dying son’s bedroom; I just needed a distraction…”

Eric shot him a glance, grimacing. “I don’t like it when you phrase it that way.”

Kyle ignored him, trying to keep the conversation going. “I tried to see if I could get him up so he could celebrate but…ah…” He trailed off, lowering his head a bit as his smile faded. He took to quietly eating his breakfast.

Feldspar made an awkward face, feeling the tension in the room. This wasn’t the way he wanted to start the day. The threat of battle and Clyde’s worsening condition was going to put a damper on the celebration no matter how he looked at it. Suddenly he lifted his head, an idea coming to mind. “Can…can I go see him?”

“What?” the kings gasped in unison. Someone dropped a fork. It was silent.

“Craig?” Tweek asked, glancing at him.

“No, I’m serious.” Feldspar looked around the table. “I…I haven’t seen him since we left to find the monks. He was _my_ king… if he can’t come to the celebration, I want to include him somehow- especially if… if things aren’t looking too good for him.”

The High Elf just stared at the table, shaking his head a bit. “I…”

“Please, your highness, does he even know?” Feldspar begged.

“I…I don’t even know if he’s coherent enough to hear me at this point. I didn’t tell him.”

“Then let me.”

The two kings shared a glance. “Fine,” Eric said, gesturing towards the hallway. “If you insist. You know your way there.”

“I’m coming,” Tweek said hurriedly, grabbing for Feldspar’s hand as the thief moved to stand up. “I want to be there too.” He wasn’t sure if Feldspar could handle what he was about to see. They stood up together, abandoning breakfast and the rest of the group to head down the hallway.

“I know he’s a childish pain in the ass, but I can’t help but want him to be okay,” Feldspar said softly, squeezing Tweek’s hand. “He was my king, my best friend… even though the kingdoms are united again, I’m still his thief. We saved him once already. I don’t want that to be in vain.”

Tweek nodded, leaning closer in an attempt to comfort him. “Clyde’s going to be okay, remember? We’re going to kill Douchebag once and for all. We have nothing to be worried about.”

Feldspar just nodded, but his mind was elsewhere.

The two approached the child king’s door. It had been left a crack open, the soft gleam of candlelight just barely glowing inside. With a deep breath, Feldspar pushed open the door, stepping inside.

“Oh jeez,” Tweek whispered, eyes darting the other direction. Clyde lay in the bed, looking horribly green. He was almost no different than the monsters they had defeated outside of the castle. It was hard to look at him like this. His eyes were closed, as if he were resting, breathing slow. Kyle wasn’t exaggerating when he said he was close to death.

“That fucking _monster_ did this,” Feldspar hissed, stepping closer. “I can’t wait until we get the chance to murder him…”

Tweek only patted his shoulder sympathetically. “Me too, Craig… me too.”

They approached the bed, finding two stools sitting beside it, left by the kings. They each took a seat, staring quietly.

“I almost don’t want to disturb him,” Feldspar whispered, voice wavering. “He looks like he’s already dead…”

“We don’t have to do this,” Tweek reminded him.

“No, we’re going to do this.” Feldspar took a deep breath, trying to get himself to calm down. He extended a hand, gently shaking Clyde by the shoulder. “Your highness? Clyde?”

The boy’s eyes slowly opened, but they seemed distant and unfocused as he turned his attention to the thief.

“H-hey,” he said, trying to think of what to even say. “I’m… we’re back, and we have the Nagasaki now. We’re gonna kill Douchebag for you, okay? We’re gonna fix this.” Clyde just stared blankly at him.

“Just keep talking,” Tweek said, trying to encourage him. “I don’t know if he’s going to respond.”

Feldspar took another breath. This was harder than he thought. “I…Clyde, there’s something I wanted to tell you. We wish you could come and see it, but… me and Tweek are getting married.”

For a split moment, Clyde’s eyes appeared to light up as he stared at Feldspar, the corner of his lips twitching into a smile. Very slowly, he extended a sickly hand from under the sheets, reaching it towards him.

“Yeah, yeah… we are,” Feldspar said, a little more hope in his voice. He took the extended hand, smiling. “We’re going to get married before battle tomorrow. Kyle said we can do it in the field behind the castle. Tweek gave me face paint, and maybe he’ll convince me to wear something nice…” Tweek giggled. Clyde almost seemed amused. “Jimmy gave us rings, so it’ll be proper. I thought you might like to hear about that. You always liked parties.”

Clyde only smiled weakly again, still unable to speak.

Feldspar almost didn’t want to let go as he set his hand back onto the bed, watching that look in his eyes fade away. He was back to being so still and quiet… back to being nearly dead.

“I’m glad he at least got to hear that part,” Tweek whispered, leaning his head onto Feldspar’s shoulder.

“Yeah… me too. I just wish he would be able to see it.”

“Maybe after this is all over we can have another celebration?” Tweek’s voice was full of hope. “I mean, a bigger one. Maybe with more people, with more time to plan. One he can watch.”

“I’d like that I think,” Feldspar replied. He hoped they could make it to that point. “Let’s just get through the first one, alright?”

Their hands met again as they stood back up, getting one last look at Clyde before turning and walking out the door. They went back the way they came until they reached the dining hall. Everyone turned to look at them.

“I told you, he doesn’t even respond…” Kyle sighed, staring at his plate of food unhappily. “It’s hard to even talk to him. It’s like he isn’t even there.”

Feldspar nodded. “I… I think he understood me, at least a little. He smiled when I told him about the wedding.”

Kyle looked up, a sad smile on his face. “If only that wasn’t out-of-the-norm, these days…” He sighed, pushing back his seat as he stood up. “Enough of that now. I promised you a wedding, and we’re having a wedding.”

Feldspar smiled, the excitement finally setting in. “What do you have planned?”

“Well,” Kyle said, “we were thinking about that field behind the castle, but… since this is a special event, maybe we should try something a little more… _grand._ ”

“As in?” Eric asked, quirking an eyebrow. “Kyle, don’t be fucking this up.”

“I’m not!” he snapped, shaking his head. “Trust me, it’ll be great. I know what I’m doing.”

“Sure,” he sighed, rolling his eyes. “Where is it, then?”

“I was thinking the village just below the hill. You know, Red Robin? I thought it might be nice to get out of the castle.”

“A Red Robin wedding, huh?” Stan said, considering it. “That would actually be pretty nice.”

“Then it’s settled,” Kyle said, standing up from the table. “I’ll get everything prepared and we’ll have the ceremony at sun down. That gives us the rest of the day to get ready.”

“We have a little time to ourselves then,” Tweek said. “Should we be preparing for battle in the meantime?”

“That should be the least of our worries right now,” Kyle corrected, still clearly trying to distract himself.

“But-“

“Barbarian, that’ll be enough.”

Tweek fell silent, shaking his head in amusement. “Alright, I trust you. Don’t fuck it up.” With that, he grabbed Feldspar’s hand and began to leave the room, relishing in the shocked expressions on the royal guard’s faces as he exited. _That’s right, I just told the king not to fuck something up,_ he thought, grinning.

“Dude, if you weren’t the hero of Zaron, he’d probably execute you on the _spot,_ ” Feldspar said quietly, rushing alongside his fiancé as he was pulled down the hall.

“What can I say? I love abusing my privilege.” Tweek couldn’t help the cocky tone in his voice. With how well things were going, he had every reason to be acting out. It made him feel proud and strong. It was a stark difference from that morning.

Feldspar just giggled, rolling his eyes. “Whatever, _your highness._ What are we gonna do until the wedding, then?” 

Tweek glanced over at his boyfriend, eyes full of mischief as he studied his painted face. “I just thought some time alone might be nice. You know, since the wedding is tonight and the battle tomorrow. We’re gonna be awfully busy.”

Feldspar’s eyes lit up, catching his drift. “I see,” he said simply, realizing that Tweek had been leading them towards the castle bedrooms.

“Well?” he asked, stopping in front of the room, his hand on the door.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Feldspar placed his hand on top of Tweek’s, allowing them to open the door together…

 

* * *

 

“This is looking amazing, your highness,” Stan breathed, looking around the village square, hands on his hips with admiration. The area had been prepared beautifully. The entire place was surrounded by tall, thick trees that had been decorated with lights and flowers. Near the center was an archway, covered in similar florals that cascaded down to the stone pathway. A long rug had been laid on the ground leading up to it, sets of white benches sitting on either side. It was clean and traditional- exactly what the warrior had expected of his king.

The High Elf stepped forward, brushing off his hands on his robe. “I’m not really sure how those barbarians have weddings, so I decided to just go more… simple.” He admired the setup for a moment more before heading towards the arch, standing under it. “I’ll administer the vows myself, of course… I don’t trust Eric to do it.”

“I wouldn’t trust him either, sir.” The warrior placed his hands against his chest, a sympathetic smile on his face. He almost hoped it was him under the archway with his king… or perhaps the beautiful warrior he’d met on his quest. Both options seemed nice. “It’ll be great, I’m sure of it.”

Kyle laughed to himself, looking back at his right-hand man with exhausted eyes. “I remember when I was that young… even at your age, it was fun to imagine what _my_ ceremony might be like. It’s a bit late for that now, though… I didn’t think I’d see something this grand come along until Clyde was old enough.” He laughed again. “Boy, was I wrong.”

Stan shook his head, almost embarrassed to be called young by the king. Sometimes he forgot just how old the elf was. “There’s been a lot of surprises lately, though, hasn’t there?”

Kyle smiled, nodding. He continued admiring the archway, almost lost in thought. “I sent Chris to deliver the word to the kingdom this morning… hopefully we’ll get a decent turnout. It is our last hurrah until the battle, after all. We could all use a little hope right now.” He extended an arm towards the flowers along the arch, plucking one out and sniffing it gently. “You never know what’s going to happen out there.”

Stan remained silent, watching attentively as the king circled the area in a final check.

“I think we’re about ready. Would you mind going back up to the castle and bringing down the betrothed? People will probably be arriving soon.”

Stan nodded, heading towards his horse and climbing up. “Will do, sir. I’ll have them down in no time.” With that, he began to ride the short journey back up to the castle.

 

* * *

 

Tweek looked in the mirror, hazel eyes examining his every feature for the second time. The day had been a rollercoaster of emotions, going from anxiety to excitement to pride right back to anxiety. They had both reapplied their facial paints, combed back their hair, and dressed in the ceremonial robes they had worn just a week before at the celebration that had put their quest in motion. This was real. This was happening. The barbarian played with his black-thorn crown,  trying to calm himself. It was almost time.

“Hey, we’ll be fine,” Feldspar said softly, noticing Tweek’s anxious behavior. He stepped beside him, meeting his eyes through the mirror. “It’s just a dumb wedding.”

“Yeah, but…it’s important, you know? We’re gonna be like… official now.” Tweek closed his eyes, trying to avoid the eye contact.

“I’m gonna be right here with you no matter what happens, wedding or not. You’ve got nothing to worry about.” Feldspar quickly pecked his cheek, stepping back away from the mirror. “You look amazing though, if that’s what you’re stressing about.”

Tweek opened his eyes, a small giggle escaping his lips. “You look handsome, too.” A knock at the door distracted him before he could say much more. “Oh jeez…”

“I got it,” Feldspar said, making his way towards the door. Tweek moved over to the bed, quickly moving the blankets back into a more suitable position to try and focus elsewhere.

“Uh… sorry to disrupt, but everyone is ready down in town.” Stan’s voice caught the barbarian’s attention despite his best efforts. His head jerked upwards to look at Feldspar, holding the door open.

“You ready?” the thief asked, holding his hand out towards him.

“I guess so,” he replied, leaving the sheets and walking over to join his boyfriend. “Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess. And that’s not really, if you’re wondering.”

Feldspar laughed again, pulling him close. “Come on, we got this.” He led his boyfriend down the hall with Stan, right out the front gate of the castle to the horses waiting for them. The two climbed up in their usual position, Feldspar holding tightly to his fiancé as they took off towards the town at the bottom of the hill.

“What’d you think the place looks like?” Tweek asked, trying to distract himself.

“Probably all flowery and stuff. You know, elf-ish.” Feldspar rested his cheek against the barbarian’s back. “Trees and shit. I dunno.”

“You’re _great_ at explaining things, aren’t you?” Tweek teased, giving him a nudge with his elbow. “Is the Elf King doing the vows, too?”

“Yeah, I think so.” There was silence.

“You’re talkative,” Tweek commented sarcastically, rolling his eyes. He pushed his own anxiety aside, glancing back at his boyfriend. “You nervous too?”

“Yeah… maybe a little.” The thief buried his head into Tweek’s cape, embarrassed.

“Hey, don’t worry... I think it’s kinda cute.” Tweek watched as the town came into view. He could just make out the gathering of people. “Oh jeez… there it is.”

Stan took them right up to the edge of the clearing before stopping their horses. “Here we go, you two.” All three dismounted, looking around.

“Well, I guess you weren’t wrong,” Tweek said, admiring the setup. “Your descriptive ‘trees and shit’, I believe it was, is fairly accurate.”

Feldspar blushed, smirking. “Whatever, let’s just get this over with. Where’s Token and Jimmy?”

“Right here,” came a familiar voice. The two turned around to find Token walking towards them, Jimmy following close behind with Butters at their tail end. “You two ready?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think my stomach is,” Feldspar commented, looking at the ground.

“You’re just nervous, dude.” Token patted his shoulder, a sympathetic smile on his face. “I felt the same way when I got married to my wife. You’ll be fine.”

Jimmy stepped forward, holding out his hand. “H-h-here, give me the rings. His Highness w-w…wants to do this properly, s-so I’ll bring them do…down to you during the ceremony.”

Tweek and Feldspar exchanged glances, quickly sliding them off their fingers and into his hand.

“I’ll keep them safe,” Jimmy teased, closing his hand. “Now g-g-go get out there.”

“Yeah, we’re all heading to our places,” Butters said, gesturing towards the crowd of people surrounding the arch. Kyle was already standing beneath it, the crowd at their seats. “It’s time to get started!”

Tweek bit at his lip, his hand grasping for Feldspar’s. “Here we go, then.” The others hurried to their seats as the couple walked towards the end of the aisle that had been created for them. Both family-less, they made their way down the carpet together until they reached Kyle. Everything went silent, the audience staring in anticipation.

Kyle cleared his throat, the happiest look on his face the two had seen in weeks. “Dearly beloved,” he said calmly, “we are gathered here to celebrate the binding of these two souls in holy matrimony- the two heroes of Zaron will become one.”

There was a smattering of applause.

“Would you care to recite your vows?” the king asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh jeez, I didn’t prepare anything,” Feldspar muttered, looking at the floor.

“We were kinda busy doing other things,” Tweek muttered in return, causing Feldspar to give him a glance to shut up. “Fine, I’ll go first then.” He stood up a bit taller, hands shaking as he gripped both of Feldspar’s tightly.

“Craig… we met in the most unlikely of circumstances. You barged into my camp, threatened to kill me, and I almost killed you instead.” There were a few giggles from the audience. “When I looked into your eyes as you sat on the floor of my wagon, I knew there was something different about you. When my amulet kept leading me back to you, I knew that you were going to change my life. It wasn’t the way I expected, but you changed it anyway. In the short time I’ve known you, you’ve helped me conquer my fears, become a better leader, and just… be a better person. I was an asshole because I wanted to hide that I was scared. I’m still scared… but you showed me that’s okay.” He took a deep breath again, shaking starting to calm. “…and I love you for that.”

Feldspar took it as his cue. “And…Tweek, you’ve changed me too. I didn’t think that I was going to find companionship, let alone love when I walked into that camp. I betrayed my orders; I went on journeys I never imagined I’d go on because of you. In the end, it wasn’t about finding the stick or the amulet or any of that other shit we managed to get into. It was about meeting you. I’m glad I did… and I’m glad you didn’t shoot that arrow into my face.” There were more giggles. “I love you too.”

There were some ‘awwws’ and more applause from the crowd.

“Jimmy?” Kyle said, gesturing to him. “The rings?”

Jimmy stood from his seat, the rings sitting on a white cloth in the palm of his open hand. He made his way towards the archway, presenting them to the couple.

“You may exchange them,” Kyle said, watching as they picked up their partner’s ring. With trembling hands, they slid them onto each other’s fingers before glancing back at the king.

“With that, I now pronounce you husband and husband,” he said, grinning. “You may now-“

Before he could even finish, the two threw themselves at each other, embracing tightly as they kissed their first time as newlyweds. The audience went wild with applause and cheers. Soon, they pulled apart, gasping heavily as they stared at each other.

“We did it,” Tweek breathed.

“We did it,” Feldspar echoed, kissing him again.

By the second time they pulled apart, the High Elf had been joined by the Grand Wizard under the arch. The crowd had settled.

“You have both served this kingdom, even in the most unlikely or unsuitable circumstances. For that, Eric and I would like to honor you with the biggest act of trust we can bestow.” Kyle’s tone had shifted dramatically to something more serious.

“Your highness?” Tweek asked, still holding on to his husband, “is everything okay?”

Kyle nodded, but his expression was somber. He reached into his robe, slowly pulling out what could only be the Stick of Truth.

“Sir?” Tweek asked again, staring with confusion.

“We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow at that battle. If Douchebag manages to win, he’s going to get ahold of the Stick to disastrous consequences,” Eric said, refusing to look up from the ground. “In case that happens… we need to destroy it.”

“But…” Feldspar finally spoke, breaking the silence. The entire procession was quiet, unable to comprehend what they were witnessing.

“Please… the risk is too great. The Stick is too powerful. I know we fought so hard to find it, but… it’s better if its magic doesn’t exist.” Kyle held it out to the two of them. “Please. You gave it to us so we could save our son. We want to pay respects to you by allowing you to do the honors.”

Tweek hesitated before taking the object in his hand, now trembling again. “Craig?”

Feldspar quietly placed his other hand towards the top of the stick, both of them holding opposing ends. “Are you sure we want to do this?”

“The kings are right. It’s what’s best for the kingdom.” With grim expression, the two of them pulled from their respective end, firmly snapping the artifact in half. Nothing happened. It was as if it was just a regular piece of wood.

Everyone remained silent, heads bowed in respect.

“…and so it’s done,” Kyle whispered, taking the broken object back from him. “I’m sorry to end this on such a low note. With that, I conclude this ceremony-“

“Not so fast, _your highness._ ”

Everyone froze, heads turning quickly towards the end of the aisle. A familiar figure stood, his blue cape blowing quietly in the breeze, remnant magic swirling around him.

Stan and Chris quickly jumped up, drawing their swords.

“Stand down, soldiers,” the echoing voice teased, stepping forward. Everyone cowered away from him as he made his way down the aisle at a leisurely pace. “You’ve still got one more day… I just came to see the newlyweds for myself.”

“Get away from him,” Tweek snarled, arms wrapping protectively around Feldspar. The thief immediately returned the embrace.

“I’m not here to _hurt you_ ,” Douchebag said, laughing. It rumbled so deep the ground below them seemed to quake. “If anything, you’ve hurt _me._ I’m so upset, you see, that you didn’t invite me to your little party. It’s such a shame. I love parties.” He stopped just before the archway, arms crossed in amusement.

Nobody dared to move, let alone speak.

“I’m sorry I’m so late, though. I heard through the grapevine that the ceremony was going to be in the field behind the castle… but I was informed wrong.” He paused, staring right at them from under his hood. “Feldspar, why did you lie to me?”

“I didn’t tell you anything,” the thief said through gritted teeth, stepping backwards towards the kings. “You’re trying to fuck with me again.”

“Oh no, I remember _very clearly._ Let’s see here…” Douchebag paused, his voice changing until he perfectly mimicked the thief’s. “ _We’re going to get married before battle tomorrow. Kyle said we can do it in the field behind the castle.”_

Feldspar let go of Tweek, lunging forward. “I told that to CLYDE, YOU SICK FUCK!” Tweek scrambled to hold him back, begging him not to listen. “YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE LISTENING!”

“You listen in to my conversations so often in your dreams, I figured I’d return the favor. That boy is such fun to listen through.” Douchebag extended a hand from his robe, curiously curling and uncurling his fingers. “I believe the High Elf knows what I mean. He tells such wonderful bedtime stories.”

“You’re disgusting,” Kyle hissed, struggling to restrain himself. There was nothing they could do with Douchebag so close. An attack of any kind could risk the lives of everyone at the procession. “You get your _disgusting_ hands off of my son and your _disgusting_ ears away from our conversations.”

“Whatever the fuck you think you’re doing crashing our wedding,” Tweek threatened, pulling Feldspar closer, “it doesn’t have an effect on us!”

“Maybe so, maybe so.” Douchebag giggled, almost childishly. “I just thought I’d stir the pot a little... things were getting too hopeful around here. Congratulations on your little engagement. Let’s hope that myth your people tell about souls binding after death is true. I think you’ll need it tomorrow.” With that, he turned sharply, cape fluttering in the wind as his magic transported him away.

The crowd was left in shaken silence, staring at the place where the powerful man had just stood.

“…God have mercy on us,” Kyle whispered, pressing his hands to his mouth. “Please…”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by the end of this chapter (hopefully) all of the previous plot holes will be filled ;))))))) aka its the backstory chapter. Enjoy!!

**_ Zaron, 16 Years Ago _ **

“Alright, let’s see what you got.”

The six year old boy stared at his hands, tongue poking out of the side of his mouth in focus. It had been two weeks since Clyde was first introduced to this new spell, and he was sure that he could do it himself now. His father, the Grand Wizard, watched him quietly.

“Don’t look so nervous,” Eric soothed, stooping down lower to the boy’s eye level. “You’ve been doing so well with all this new stuff; you have no reason to worry.” It was true- for a bit over a year now, the wizard had been passing along his magic to the young boy. Much to his surprise, he was a natural, making astounding progress in such a short period of time.

“Okay,” the boy whispered, relaxing his body. He continued whispering softly to himself, eyes closing as he focused on the energy between his fingers. Slowly, a hint of blue began to spark between them, illuminating the spell tower they were standing in. It grew brighter and brighter until a ball of energy sat in his trembling hands, his eyes still squeezed shut.

“There you go, you got it,” the king encouraged, keeping his voice low. “Now… throw!”

Clyde let out a grunt, flinging the energy towards the opposite end of the room. It bounced off of the wall and went flying right back towards where it had come from.

“FUCK!” Eric shouted, swiftly grabbing the boy in his arms and protectively pulling him close. The magic finally smashed into a bookshelf behind them, potion bottles and pages flying everywhere. The two held close to each other as they slowly turned toward it, mentally assessing the damage.

“S-sorry sir,” Clyde muttered, voice wavering.

Eric raised his eyebrows, almost impressed. “Well, at least you got it that time. Maybe this isn’t the best place to be practicing…” He let go of the boy, standing back up and brushing at his robes. He walked towards the mess, looking it over. “Well, this sure is a disaster. Come on, let’s get this cleaned up.”

There was no answer from the small boy. He had become distracted by what was going just outside of the window that overlooked the courtyard. Far below him in the gardens he could see his cousin, Kenny, running around with Douchebag. The nickname, despite how much he had protested against it, had stuck with _everyone_ in the castle, not just the children.

“Clyde!” Eric said again, snapping his fingers.

“A-ah! Yes sir?” Clyde jumped, turning around.

“Hmm.” Eric stepped away from the mess, staff clicking along the floor as he joined his son by the window. He stared out at the scene unfolding below with his niece and his best knight, intrigued. “I know what we can do,” he said, eyes darting towards the door. “Come along, Clyde. We’re going to the courtyard.”

Clyde looked up at the wizard as they began to walk towards the exit of the tower. “Can you carry me?” he asked, extending his arms up.

Eric froze, biting his lip in mild annoyance. He despised how much the High Elf babied him and tried his best not to stoop to his level… but as he glanced down at the small boy, he found himself nodding. “Fine,” he said, rolling his eyes as he stooped to lift him up. “Only because these stairs are steep and you’ll take forever if I don’t.”

Clyde giggled playfully, trying his best not to grin as they began to descend the long stairwell. Despite his claims, Eric continued to carry the boy once they reached the main floor, making their way down the hall to the double-doors of the gardens. He pushed it open, looking around. “Where’d those kids go?” he muttered, the courtyard appearing empty.

Clyde giggled again, hands pressed to his mouth.

“What are they-”

The wizard didn’t get a chance to finish his thought. Out of the nearby bushes flew the two, screaming wildly. He stumbled backwards, nearly dropping his son as he shoved his staff towards them in defense.

“Ah- wait, Uncle Eric, it’s just us!” Kenny shouted, jumping back.

Eric lowered the staff, looking annoyed. “Goddammit, Kenny, I told you to stop doing that.” His eyes darted up towards Douchebag. “This your idea?”

“N-no, sir,” the knight muttered, trying not to laugh.

“You’re lucky I came down here for a reason or I’d send you off to clean the stables,” Eric threatened, setting Clyde down on the pavement beside him.

Douchebag smirked, glancing at Kenny. “What can I do for you, your highness?”

Eric stepped back, gesturing to Clyde. “I want to see what he can do. Go on, fight him.”

Clyde’s mouth dropped open, eyes wide in panic. “Sir, no, w-wait, wait, hold on, I can’t! I can’t!”

“Sir,” Douchebag said, equally shocked, “I don’t think that’s a good idea. He’s only six, you know, and I’ve been training for far longer-”

“He can match you,” the wizard said calmly, unmoved by their pleading. “If you beat him, _Douchebag_ , I’ll give you a free pass on that threat I mentioned.” He sneered his nickname, almost humiliatingly.

“ _Sir,_ I really don’t think-”

“You either fight Clyde or you deal with horse shit. Take your pick.”

The knight groaned. He _hated_ the stables. “Fine,” he said, brushing at his cheek. “Kenny, move out of the way. Let’s get this over with.” There was no way that Clyde could beat him. It would be an easy win- hardly any effort at all!

Eric and his niece stepped back, allowing the two plenty of space.

“Don’t even think about going easy on him,” Eric called. “Come on Clyde, kick his ass…and stop crying!”

Clyde let out a few sniffles, wiping at his eyes in embarrassment. “Yessir,” he muttered, taking a fighting stance, hands close together in front of him.

Douchebag bit his lip, nervous. He didn’t want to hurt the kid, but he had to do what he had to do. He closed his eyes, letting the magic crackle between his fingers. “Let’s go, Clyde!”

The small boy did the same, eyes flying shut as tears continued streaming down his small cheeks. With a sharp yell he thrust them forward, a huge ball of energy shooting towards his opponent. Douchebag’s eyes flew open in surprise, stumbling out of the way seconds before the blast hit him.

“What the fuck?!” he muttered, quickly summoning his own blast. Clyde had charged up so fast, he hadn’t been ready. The two began to dance in circles around each other, spells flying. The small boy had stopped trembling, his expression of fear turning into determination as his father cheered him on.

“This isn’t fair!” Douchebag shouted, anxiety building in his chest. It didn’t make sense. _He_ was the best knight in the entire kingdom. Besides the kings, _he_ was the most powerful, _he_ was the fastest, the bravest, the-

BAM! A blast of blue magic slammed into his shoulder, causing him to tumble backwards into the dirt. His body skidded along the ground until he finally landed hard into a mass of rose bushes.

Clyde screamed, hands flying over his eyes. “OH NO OH NO OH NOOOOO!” he wailed, frozen in fear.

“Douchebag!” Kenny called, running towards him. The young man was slowly crawling out of the bushes, eyes wide with fear.

Eric was howling with laughter. “OH MY GOD, THAT WAS AMAZING!” he screamed, hands against his chest as he stepped forward. “DID YOU SEE THAT?!” Clyde ran to him, immediately hiding in his robes. “Clyde, holy shit, you knocked him the fuck _out_!”

“That wasn’t FAIR!” Douchebag shouted again, shoving Kenny aside as he stood up. “I don’t know how he did that! He cheated somehow!”

Eric calmed himself, wiping at his eyes and completely ignoring the young boy clinging to him. “What, you afraid he knocked you down a peg?” he teased, shaking his head. “Come on, I told you he could beat you. He’s been learning so much. Kid’s a natural.”

Douchebag growled, stomping his foot. He was too angry to speak.

“Oh my god, what happened in here?!”

Everyone turned to where the voice had come from. In came the High Elf, looking panicked. “I heard a huge blast, is everyone alright?”

“Sir!” Douchebag shouted happily, the smile returning to his face. Kyle would believe him, he knew it.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist,” Eric muttered, crossing his arms, “Clyde and _Douchebag_ here were just sparring.”

“ _Clyde_!?” Kyle exclaimed, hands pressed to his mouth. “Eric, how could you? He’s too young for that!” He marched forward, scooping up the boy in his arms. As soon as he was lifted, he began to wail louder. “You made him cry!”

Eric rolled his eyes, making a face. “He _beat_ him, Kyle, I think he’s just fine. He’s only acting like that because you’re- eugh, stop that! He’s not a baby! You’re not his mother!”

Kyle began to soothingly wipe away his tears, whispering softly to him. “No, I’m not. But we _are_ his guardians, and we ought to be… you know, GUARDING him.” His eyes darted to Douchebag. “Did you have any say in this?”

“No sir, it was the Grand Wizard, sir.” Douchebag shook his head furiously, hands clasped together. “He commanded that I fight him because he wanted to show off. Clyde won by luck.”

“Clyde won because he _won,_ ” Eric corrected, a smug look on his face.

“I don’t care,” Kyle snapped, holding his son closer. “It will _NOT_ happen again, do you hear me?” He looked between the two of them again before marching back into the castle, still carrying his son.

“Whatever,” Eric groaned, rolling his eyes again. His attention wandered back to Douchebag. “I guess you’re heading to the stables.”

“What!?” Douchebag cried. “But…but I fought him!”

“I said you’d be exempt if you _won._ Get going.” Eric turned away, heading towards the castle. Douchebag watched, eyebrows furrowed, until he was gone from sight and the click of his staff couldn’t be heard.

“I…I can help if you want,” Kenny said softly, left alone with him.

“Shut up, Kenny,” he grumbled, turning his back on her and marching away. He suddenly wasn’t in the mood anymore to deal with her. He entered the castle, making his way down the halls and out the front gates towards the stables. It just wasn’t fair! He had no idea how Clyde could have beat him.

He stopped in front of the large barn, shivering. Gross. He pulled his shirt up over his mouth and nose, opening the doors and entering. He hated doing chores. All he really cared about was practicing magic and fighting battles.

And winning. He loved winning.

Douchebag grabbed for a shovel and a bucket, wandering past all the horses. It was hard for him not to love success, especially with where he came from. When he was young, like Clyde, he too had lost his parents. They had died in a barbarian raid not far from the castle when he was ten. The memory alone made him tense up, feelings consuming his mind. His mourning for the loss of his family was only surpassed by the shear _anger_ he felt that he couldn’t protect them. Or himself. It was his hiding that brought him survival, not fighting.

“Never again,” he muttered, dropping the bucket to the ground. A hand extended to pet the nearby horse as he tried to soothe himself. He had a bit of a problem with his anger. He breathed slowly, trying to push it away. This was why he became a knight. He wanted to be strong. Tough. Smart. Admired. He wanted to be able to protect himself and the people around him. The kings adored him from the start- he had shown them his potential. Eric told him that his intense emotions only reinforced his ability.

But he guessed that didn’t matter now.

He moved away from the horse, kicking up some straw on the ground before working on shoveling up the mess. Clyde. _Clyde_ of all people! He’d never been hit like that before… but when he thought about it, he’d always been weary of the boy. Even when he’d play with him and Kenny, there was always nervousness at the back of his mind. The kings had adopted him two years into his training, much to his jealousy. They showered him in love and affection. He picked up magic just as fast, if not faster than Douchebag did.

The kings had no _real_ heir, he reasoned, before Clyde came along. Even with him around, neither of them had a child by blood. They would be looking for someone to take the throne.

Clyde was a threat.

He wiped at his brow, dropping the shovel. There, all clean. He left them where they were, exiting the stable and dropping his shirt. Fresh air, thank god… He took a deep breath, enjoying the cool air. The sun was starting to set. He’d better get back inside.

Douchebag trudged back towards the castle, hoping he didn’t smell too terrible. He carefully shut the doors, listening to the echo in the empty hallways. It was late- the servants and other knights must have gone to bed. He might as well head up to his own room.

Away he went, rubbing at his eyes. It had been a long day, and he was exhausted from his embarrassing fight. He climbed the stairs towards the second floor of the castle, then the third. He was lucky to have a room among the other higher-ranking men. It made him feel proud, being so young.

“I don’t know… it just makes me uncomfortable, and you know that.”

Douchebag froze, attention caught by the familiar voice of the High Elf. His eyes wandered until they settled on the large glass door to the balcony, left just a crack open.

“I told you, he was _just fine._ ”

Douchebag tried to resist the urge, but he found himself sneaking towards the door. Quietly, he pressed against the wall, barely peeking into the glass.

“But what if something did happen?” Kyle continued. He was holding a cup of tea, stirring it anxiously. “If he got hurt because we pushed him too hard, I’d never forgive myself.”

“But he _didn’t_. You should have seen him, Kyle, he had it _perfectly._ Everything I taught him is being executed stunningly. I knew it from the start.” Eric was sitting beside him, excitement in his voice. “That boy has so much potential, more than I thought.”

Douchebag scowled quietly.

Kyle sighed, setting down his tea in his lap. “So what you’re saying is that he’s ready?”

“No, oh no, not by a long shot.” The wizard rolled his eyes. “What I’m saying is that if he keeps working like that, he’ll be ready when the time _does_ come.”

Douchebag raised an eyebrow. _Ready? Ready for what? When?_

Kyle’s expression softened, his body not so tense. “Alright. I trust you.” He looked out towards the sunset, a smile on his face. “I can’t believe he’s been here for only two years. It seems like just yesterday we brought him home… and at the same time, part of our lives forever.”

“Kids’ll do that to ya,” Eric commented, laughing.

Kyle sipped at his tea, finishing it off. “We should go check on him. He’s probably fast asleep by now.”

Douchebag jumped, skittering back towards the stairs and pretending to climb them. As soon as the kings exited the balcony, he called out to them. “Oh, sirs! Your highnesses!”

Kyle turned his head, grabbing onto Eric’s arm to stop him. “Yes?”

“Your highness, Grand Wizard,” he said, stepping up onto the landing, “I was about to go to bed but… I was wondering when our next training session would be? I’m sorry about what happened today. I promise I’ll do better next time. I just need some more practice!”

Eric shook his head, amused. “That won’t be necessary.”

Douchebag froze, confused. “Uh…what?”

“I said, it won’t be necessary.”

“But _why_?” he pressed, the anxiety building in his chest. He didn’t understand.

“I’m… afraid you’ve hit your peak, Dovahkiin,” Kyle said softly, a strange expression on his face as he addressed him by his real name. “We’ve been… we’ve been talking. There’s not much else we can really teach you.”

“I’m focusing my energy into Clyde from now on,” Eric continued. “After what I saw today, I’m sure that he’s ready to move on. He has a lot of things ahead of him, and he’s going to need proper guidance.”

Douchebag’s eyes widened. No, it couldn’t be! Everything made sense now. “…he’s your successor, isn’t he?” he whispered, feeling the tears threatening to spill in his eyes.

“Dovahkiin,” Kyle said again, sympathetically shaking his head. “He’s our son, why wouldn’t he be?”

Douchebag turned his head away, pushing the kings aside as he ran down the hall towards his room. No no no no no no no. This wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true. He’d been working so hard, he’d been doing _everything_ he had to do…

He was humiliated for even _thinking_ he could do it.

He threw open the door to his bedroom, then slammed it shut. He didn’t care if anyone heard. He didn’t care! He kicked over a wastebin before dropping onto his bed, letting out an unhappy howl as tears flowed down his cheeks. His chest seized with fury, his breath coming in short gasps. He was panicking.

This wasn’t happening. This wasn’t happening.

It was all over.

He was nothing.

Nothing at all.

He curled into himself, not even bothering to kick his boots off as he lay in a ball on the bed. That little _brat_ got EVERYTHING without even trying. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair at all! The Wizard had nothing left to teach him, huh? There had to be something more he could do. Someone else could teach him!

He froze.

Someone else could teach him.

The thought echoed in his mind for a moment, silent tears tricking down his cheeks. Yes, that was the answer to his problems. Someone could teach him the magic he needed to _really_ impress the kings. If he did that, he was sure they’d change their minds.

He slowly sat up on the bed, wiping off his eyes. There was no one in this kingdom at least that was stronger than the wizard. He would have to go somewhere else. His crying quieted, the young man slid onto the floor, tiptoeing to the door and pushing it open. Not a sound could be heard.

Perfect.

Douchebag made his way back down the stairs to the first floor of the castle, then down the halls to the spell tower. He knew he shouldn’t go up alone, but he was dying for answers. Surely the wizard kept some sort of information up there! With a heaving sigh, he began to ascend the hundreds of spiraling stairs to the top. By the time he reached the wooden door into the room, he was out of breath.

“This is it,” he told himself, pushing it open. Inside it was pitch dark, save for the moonlight streaming through the window. Next to him lay a mess of broken bottles and destroyed books. Someone must have forgotten to clean their mess. He carefully stepped around them, squinting in the dim light at the books lying around.

If he were a wizard, where would he keep his books on other kingdoms? Douchebag continued to snoop around until he settled on a book with a green cover. He flipped it open, shuffling through the pages. Spells for explosions, spells for sleeping, spells for reanimating the dead. Useless. He threw it aside, picking up the one underneath it.

“The South!” he shouted excitedly, flipping it open. There were kingdoms to the south! They had to have something. He quickly thumbed through the index, moving closer to the window so he could read better. “No, no, no, no…yes!” There it was! Monks. There were monks in the south. He turned to the page, eyes skimming the pages.

“Southern villages… large temples…powerful magic…didn’t see visitors after the disaster…unknown if any remaining survivors.” He dropped the book in annoyance, huffing. If he traveled that direction, it would have to be both in secret and at a major risk of turning up empty handed.

It was worth it, he decided.

He left the book on the floor, marching back down the stairs to the main floor of the castle. If he wanted to go, he had better leave soon. The kings couldn’t know what he was up to or else they’d be angry with him. He’s have to be careful… he needed a disguise.

Turning back towards the main staircase, Douchebag ran up to the third floor bedroom and began to rifle through his closet. The only thing of use was a long blue cape, a bit tattered from his last adventure. It would have to do. He secured it around his shoulders, pulling it over his head. It hid his facial features well enough. Now nobody would be able to recognize him. Satisfied, he snuck back down the stairs and out the door to the stable. He’d never go there willingly, but he was going to need a method of travel. He picked out a random horse and mounted it, riding down the hill due south.

Three long days of traveling lead him up to a tattered village, barely held together. Whatever disaster had struck this place had absolutely wrecked it. He pulled his hood tighter around his face, hopping off his horse and tying the reigns to a post on the makeshift fence. He began to make his way on foot towards the temple at the top of the hill, ignoring the strange looks from the locals. One offered him a place to stay. He declined.

He stopped before the doors to the temple, staring at the sign placed neatly in front of the door. _Do not disturb. No visitors allowed._

“No visitors my ass,” he muttered, pushing the sign aside and slowly pulling open the door. If there could be no visitors, there could be people inside. He walked down the candlelit hallway, looking around. It was strange how empty it was inside. There was nothing to be seen but another door at the end of it.

Douchebag pushed it open to yet another strange sight.

His eyes traveled upward as he took in the huge room. It was filled with books and other odds and ends, but it was the large glass windows that had caught his attention. The first one depicted two familiar children running away from a knight. The next was a picture of the little boy holding a stick, a crown on his head. He was surrounded by other people, like a celebration. The next frame showed him sitting on a throne, a familiar knight kneeling beside him. The fourth frame showed the castle, a rainbow above it in blessing.

Douchebag pushed away the sinking feeling in his chest, turning away from it. He didn’t know why such pictures were there, but he knew exactly what they depicted. He marched over to the bookshelves, beginning to pull them out and look through them. If this place was empty and nobody wanted to teach him, he would teach himself. He read each cover to himself before throwing it to the floor. He needed something _perfect._ These wouldn’t do at all, it had to be-

Time travel.

A book about time travel!

Douchebag laughed in surprise, holding the book close to his chest. Finally! Yes! This was the key to his future. He flipped it open, looking through the pages. An idea began to form in his mind. He could use it to go back in time to when these monks were still open for business. If he learned from them, the kings would surely be impressed! He found the spell and began to read, getting the gist of it. It was worth a shot!

His attention was diverted by the sound of footsteps coming down the hall. “Stop, buddy!” someone called.

Oh _shit._ He had to hurry. Douchebag ripped the paper out of the book, holding it close to his face and uttering the words on the paper. He focused his energy to his chest, eyes squeezing shut. The footsteps were coming closer, closer, closer-

And then everything stopped.

His eyes fluttered open, trying to take in his surroundings. He was sitting under a tree in a meadow, all alone. He looked to his left and then to his right, shocked by what he saw. Just below him was a bustling village, beautiful and full of people. He almost couldn’t believe he had done it. He had traveled before the disaster!

With a gleeful cry, Douchebag ran down the hill and straight into town. Just as he planned, he met the monks, became a follower and began to study. Like the kings, the monks found potential in him and began to work with him personally. He progressed quickly through everything- a transportation spell, a spell to float and fly, even the Nagasaki. _This_ had to be his real peak, not whatever the kings had been talking about. He knew _everything_ now, and he was ready to show it off.

Without a word to the monks, he traveled back to the present day castle as if nothing had ever happened. He retired the hood to his closet and went down to breakfast like normal.  Everyone greeted him as if he’d never been gone.

“Good morning, Dovahkiin,” Kyle said, quietly sipping his tea.

“Good morning, sir,” Douchebag said back, a small smile on his face. “Where is the wizard?”

“In the courtyard with Clyde. Why?”

“Oh… I just wanted to see if Clyde wanted to spar again. I thought it might be good for him, you know… with an equal.” Douchebag smiled sweetly, trying to hide his plan. If he could get both kings into the courtyard and kick Clyde’s ass, they’d take him for sure!

“Oh?” Kyle looked up, setting the cup down. “Are you sure? Eric said you were sore about yesterday, I didn’t expect you to…sorry.” The king trailed off, scooting back his chair and standing up. “Sure, I guess I’ll allow it. Eric and I had a good conversation last night about Clyde… he’s swayed me a bit.”

Douchebag grinned even wider, the two of them making their way down to the courtyard. Eric stood in the middle with Clyde, the two of them throwing magic back and forth. He laughed to himself. It seemed like child’s play compared to what he’d been working on.

“Eric,” Kyle called, “Douchebag wants a rematch.”

“Does he?” The king laughed, hands on his hips. “Sure, whatever.” Clyde protested, but he hushed him before stepping out of the way.

“Come on Clyde, it’ll be fine,” Douchebag said, getting into position. “You got me yesterday, right? It’s just for practice.”

Clyde’s expression lifted. “R-really?” the six year old asked, a little more hopeful. “I guess so…”

“Come at me!” Douchebag called playfully, hands out in front of him. He waited for Clyde to close his eyes before throwing his arms forward, a huge burst of energy knocking the boy to the ground. Immediately he began to throw spells despite the child’s screams.

“STOP! STOP!” Kyle shrieked, running towards his son. Distracted, Douchebag was knocked to the ground by Eric, pinned firmly.

“What the FUCK are you DOING?!” the wizard shouted, hostility in his eyes. “WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!”

Douchebag glared up at him, the courtyard silent besides Clyde screaming bloody murder.

“I don’t know what you’re pulling,” Eric hissed, his arm against Douchebag’s throat, “or where you learned something like that, but if you _dare_ touch our son again, I’ll fucking _kill you._ I suggest you think of an AMAZING explanation before tonight or else you’re _off_ the royal guard, you hear me?”

Douchebag continued to silently glare until Eric stood up, he and Kyle taking Clyde back into the castle. He wiped at his nose, his chest seizing up again. He had failed. He had _failed._ The monks promised to make him powerful, and what did it get him?

Humiliation. Pain. The possibility of losing his knighthood.

Douchebag stood up, fists shaking with rage. They’d pay. They’d all pay! In a burst of magic, he threw himself back in time to the village. He marched up to the temple, barging inside and walking into the large room full of books. He stared at the stained glass windows before him, eyes brimming with tears.

They had changed.

The first picture depicted him playing with the children. The next, Clyde on the throne, but no knight beside him. The third, a lonely man sitting below a tree. The fouth… his grave.

The tears slid down his cheeks. It was the monks, he decided, that had changed his fate. He would ruin them! His fists closed tightly, energy quaking through his body. They had a disaster, huh? He’d give them a disaster. Flying far above, he began to blast the village to pieces, the monks unable to stop the surprise ambush. As soon as it was in shambles he moved to the next village, then the next, until everything in the south was nothing but fire and rubble.

Douchebag landed on the ground, still trembling. He didn’t know what else to do. No matter how he looked at it, as long as Clyde was part of the picture, he’d never be able to beat him.

_…but what if he wasn’t?_

Douchebag’s fists opened as he turned his face to the sky. That was his answer. The problem had been with _Clyde,_ not the monks, not the kings. It was the boy toying with his fate. If he got rid of him, everything would be perfect! His attention diverted back to what Eric had said earlier. If he touched Clyde in the present day, there was no way he’d be considered.

Unless.

Unless Clyde never came to the castle in the first place.

Douchebag quickly focused his energy, placing himself just a bit forward in time. He landed in a familiar village, the buildings still standing tall. He wandered about, peering into windows until he saw the familiar sight of a newly 4-year-old boy sitting with his parents by the fire.

He’d destroy the village and destroy the child.

Douchebag flew himself into the air, letting out the most powerful spell he knew. The Nagasaki ripped through the area, crumbling everything in its path. The house containing the small boy crumbled.

He grinned. That should do it.

With another burst of energy he went back to the present day, brushing his hands off on his pants. He went up to his room, put on his blue cape, and went back downstairs. He felt great! The kings had no reason to be mad at him for hurting their son if they didn’t have a—

_Clyde._

The small boy stood at the end of the hall, completely unaware. Douchebag just couldn’t understand, frozen where he stood. He should be dead. He killed him! He was _sure_ he killed him! In a fright, he turned back the way he came, bolting back towards his room. He had to check. What went wrong? What the hell went _wrong?_

Again, he traveled back to the rubble, watching quietly. Everyone was dead, he was sure! Nobody had survived the Nagasaki before at such a close range. The sound of horses approaching caused him to dive and hide, listening quietly.

“Horrible,” came the High Elf’s voice, “nobody can even tell who did it.”

“It’s weird,” Eric replied, “really weird…”

They continued talking, searching the rubble until Kyle cried out again.

“It’s…It’s a child!” he exclaimed.

Douchebag’s entire soul crumbled. By trying to destroy him, he’d inadvertently created the very event that allowed him to be found. He let out a sob, letting his emotions get the best of him as he threw another burst of magic and went back to the past. He stormed into the rubble of the destroyed temple, entering what remained of the large, circular room.

The stained glass windows remained, the wall untouched. This time, the last three images were completely blank.

“Please,” he whispered, pulling at his hair, his face. He was creeping into insanity as he dropped to his knees before the windows. “Please, _please,_ what do you want from me? What do I need to do? How do I change this?”

The wall did not speak. It was just a wall.

Douchebag stood back up. He was hopeless. The only thing he could do was go back to the castle and hope that he could retain his place on the royal guard. He’d have to figure out another way- there had to be another way! He’d altered fate before, if the windows proved anything. He could do it again.

Douchebag sent himself back to the present for the second time that day, walking down the stairs and towards the meeting room where the kings were waiting. He made excuses and apologized profusely, lying through his teeth about his emotions getting the best of him and not understanding what he had done. To his surprise, the kings believed him and gave him a second chance.

He walked out of the meeting, trembling. All he had left to cling to was his knighthood. He couldn’t lose it now. He’d have to tread carefully. He made his way down the hallway towards the garden. It always calmed his mind to be among the flowers. He pushed open the doors, taking a deep breath of the fresh air.

Instead of silence, he was met with screaming children chasing each other through the flowers.

“Douchebag! Hey! Douchebag!” Clyde called, running towards him. “Come on, come play!”

Douchebag flinched, staring at him. He couldn’t bear the sight of the boy in front of him. He wanted nothing more than to murder him right then and there.

“Douchebag? Come on, I wanna play a game! You wanna play a game?”

His fingers twitched, his lips pressed firmly together.

“Douchebag-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” he screamed, lunging at the child, fists balled in front of him. “I told you to shut UP you DISGUSTING little BRAT!”

“Stop!” Kenny begged, running closer and trying to step between the two. Clyde was sobbing. “He didn’t do anything! What’s wrong with you lately?!”

“It’s all YOUR fault that this happened!” Douchebag continued, ignoring her as he pointed a finger at the child. “YOU’RE the reason everything is RUINED!” He began to laugh wildly, shaking his head. “You want a _game,_ Clyde? You want a FUCKING game? I’ll show you a game alright, I’ll show you a FUCKING game. I’m going to take EVERYTHING from you, just you see! If you even DARE tell the kings about this, I’ll…I’ll…”

“I said STOP!” Kenny begged. Douchebag softened, stepping back. Clyde ran crying out the door, leaving the two of them alone. “Dovahkiin…”

Douchebag scoffed, flipping his hood back over his head until he couldn’t be seen anymore. “It’s _Douchebag,_ remember?” he turned on his heels, magic swirling around him. His lip twitched into a sneer and he walked back into the castle. Oh, he’d give that little boy a game, alright.

He’d play the best game he could possibly imagine.

And he’d _win._


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter yall <3 This one was a doozy. Over 7000 words!!

Everyone was frozen in place as silence consumed the square. The wind didn’t shake the trees. The horses they’d arrived on didn’t move. Nobody in the procession made a sound.

The joyful feeling that had fueled their celebration had completely disappeared.

Tweek continued to cling protectively to his newlywed husband. It was the only thing he could do as he stared at the aisle; the remnants of smoke from Douchebag’s exit were slowly curling up towards the nearly-darkened sky. His fingers shook as he dug them deeper into Feldspar’s arms, jaw locked tight. Everything he had been trying to keep inside was threatening to spill. His eyes twitched. His body quaked.

The one thing he had been looking forward to was now destroyed.

“I’ll kill him,” he whispered, voice catching at the end with a high pitched squeak. His chest was aching with anxiety. But how? Tomorrow was the only shot they had. The Stick of Truth had been destroyed as a failsafe. There was no time left. He felt unprepared…

“The only thing we can do right now is get back to the castle,” Kyle said softly, breaking the silence as he addressed the crowd. “We need to rest… and to discuss the matters at hand.” Without waiting for a reply from anyone else, he stepped away from the archway, making his way down the aisle and towards the horses.

“Sir,” Feldspar called out, extending an arm towards him.

“We should have never been so foolish as to waste our time celebrating,” he muttered, eyes still focused ahead of him as he mounted the horse.

Feldspar blinked in shock, a hurt expression on his face. He was suddenly hyper aware of Tweek’s nails digging into his skin through the sleeves of his shirt and the heavy feeling of the ring on his finger. Today was supposed to be the best day of his life.

Now it was just the hours before doomsday began.

“Craig,” Tweek whispered, voice still trembling, “I…please take m-me… to the horses…”

His attention jolted back to the present, shaking his head as he mentally scolded himself. He needed to focus on Tweek and the problem at hand. It wasn’t about the wedding anymore; it was about survival. “I got you,” he replied, gritting his teeth as the nails sunk deeper into his arm. He ignored the feeling the best he could as he guided his husband down the aisle, watching the shocked expressions of the remaining crowd pass by.

“We’re fucked,” the barbarian muttered, head low as they walked.

“No…no we’re not,” Feldspar assured him, voice full of empty hope. “Things are going to be fine, okay? We’re going back to the castle now. We’re gonna sleep, and then in the morning we’re going to get out there and do the Nagasaki.”

Tweek didn’t say anything, too mentally drained to speak. Feldspar helped him up onto their horse, climbing on behind him. The barbarian shakily took the reins, and with a quick kick, they were off through the trees.

Feldspar didn’t dare to look back at the village square. As much as he wished they could have celebrated and had a proper end to their ceremony, they had more pressing matters to worry about. His eyes wandered towards the sky instead. It was night, perhaps around ten o’clock with how the sun had just set. Douchebag had delivered his initial message at about noon a week ago. That gave them fourteen hours, more or less, to prepare themselves for battle.

“Goddammit,” he muttered out loud, forehead pressing into Tweek’s back in frustration. The seconds had been ticking while they were questing, but this was a totally different feeling. He was consumed by dread.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he replied, tilting his face so he could kiss Tweek’s shoulder instead. “Just thinking out loud.”

“Mmm.” Tweek fell back into silence, watching as the castle appeared in their sight. The remainder of their ride was spent in quiet before Tweek stopped them just outside of the stables. They jumped off and Tweek took the reins again, leading the horse into his stall. His expression was blank, eyes unfocused. He didn’t seem to exude any emotion whatsoever.

Feldspar only observed, the sinking feeling in his gut continuing. With Tweek acting so aloof, he had no choice but to mimic his silence. The horse was put away and the two of them walked back towards the castle, entering the gate and ascending the stairs to the second floor bedrooms. As ritual, they entered the same bedroom they had been sleeping in.

As soon as the door was closed, Tweek paced over to the table near the mirror and set his hands down, staring blankly at the grain. His eye twitched, but otherwise, he was still.

Feldspar took a deep breath, closing the door behind himself and walking towards the bed. He kicked off his boots, dropped his cape on the floor, and finally flopped onto his back in the soft sheets. He stared at the ceiling with the same blank expression, his eyes picking out patterns in the cracked cement. It was hard to focus on anything when the only thing to think about was battle.

Tweek let out a strange noise from across the room, head lifting to stare into the mirror.

“Tweek?” Feldspar asked, breaking the silence. There was no answer as the barbarian began to pace the floor, hands pulling at his hair, his footsteps echoing in the otherwise quiet room. Feldspar grimaced, biting his lip as he tried to ignore the agitated feeling building in his head.

Step. Step. Step. Pause. Step. Step. Step. Pause.

“Tweek!” Feldspar shouted suddenly, bolting upright. “Would you fucking stop that?!”

The barbarian jumped, hands scrambling from his hair to his chest. His eyes were wide as he stared at his husband, fingers digging harshly into his robes.

And then he began to cry.

“H-hey, fuck, wait--” Feldspar gasped, quickly leaving the bed and practically running to the barbarian’s side. “Tweek, oh my god… I’m sorry, please...”

Tweek’s whole body shuddered as he collapsed into Feldspar’s arms, face pressed harshly into his chest. His fingers scrambled to grip as he began to shake violently. He had tried his hardest to keep it bottled up, but everything was coming out now. He was twitching and sobbing and screaming, the tears staining Feldspar’s robes.

All the thief could do was hold him tight, eyes squeezed shut. He could feel his husband’s pain in his chest; just hearing him break was enough for a few tears of his own to slip down his cheeks. The longer they held each other, the smaller he felt. These were potentially their last hours and all they had was each other and their echoing cries in the castle bedroom.

Tweek slowly lifted his head, a hand releasing its hold just long enough to wipe at his eyes. He was still shaking terribly, but his sobs had calmed. Feldspar just stared at him until the barbarian dared to look up. their eyes meeting in silent agreement. Slowly, they walked back towards the bed, removed their ceremonial robes and climbed under the sheets, huddled together in the darkness.

“Thirteen hours left,” Feldspar scoffed softly, staring at his husband as he drifted to sleep against his chest. He shifted into a more comfortable position, eyes starting to close. “What an ironic number.”

 

* * *

 

_He focused his attention into the mirror, eyes brimming with tears._

No no no no no no no its ha p p e n i n g

_Shaking fingers began to trace the features of his face, nearly gagging at the sight. His skin, his jawline, his hair, even the shaking eyes he was meeting in the mirror were fluctuating with every passing second._

Why why why why why why did you do this why why why you moron why why why

_His nails dug into the hollow of his cheekbones as he stumbled backwards, unable to keep looking at the reflection. He’d been noticing it for years now- the subtle changes had been easy enough to hide with the hood of his cloak, but now… now he’d really done it._

You’re an idiot you’re an idiot you’re an idiot

_He raked his fingers down his face, eyes falling to the floor. This was the end of everything. He’d looked though that book thousands of times. He thought he’d been careful… but now the timelines were merging, and the paradoxes were catching up with him. Everything he was and everything he could have been were combining into one being. The culmination of his power had come with a sacrifice he wasn’t prepared to face. With a sob, he grabbed the sheet off his bed and threw it towards the mirror, hiding his reflection in one swift movement._

It’s over it’s fucking over look what you’ve done

_He stared at where the reflection had once been, trying to calm his body with deep breaths. Trembling hands flipped the hood back over his head, pulling it tightly around his face. Nobody could see this. If anybody figured out what he’d been doing, everything he’d been planning would be for naught. He had three days until Clyde’s twelfth birthday. His strengthened perception gave him the feeling that something big was going to be happening soon… something he could take advantage of._

_He wasn’t about to let that slip through his fingers._

Stop crying before this gets any worse stop stop stop stop you fucking coward stop crying

_He took another deep breath, brushing at his eyes with his fingers. He was going to make that boy pay, even if the sacrifices hurt._

 

* * *

 

Feldspar grimaced as his eyes fluttered open, the sunlight peeking through the window right at his eye level. He rolled the other direction, hands flying over his eyes. He could feel the leftover face paint from the day before smear as he rubbed at them.

“Fuck,” he muttered, accepting his fate and sitting up in bed. He yawned and stretched his arms. What time was it? His attention immediately diverted to the matter at hand. Today was the battle… they had mere hours until they’d have to face down Douchebag. He climbed out of bed, trudging over to the mirror. His face was a disaster. He didn’t understand how Tweek managed to stay so tidy all the time.

He grabbed for the rag on the table, wiping the remaining paint from his fingertips and his face. “Tweek,” he called gently, looking back towards the sleeping boy. He had curled himself up in the sheets, hiding away like a cocoon.

“What.” There was a mumble deep inside the blankets.

“We should be getting up now,” Feldspar replied. Tweek was usually the early riser, so he wasn’t sure what else to say.

There was another whine from the bed before Tweek sat up, hair sticking wildly in all directions. His facepaint was equally smeared. There was tension in his shoulders as he climbed out of bed and walked towards the mirror with wobbly legs.

“You good?”

“Mmmh.” Tweek stopped beside him, forehead pressing into his shoulder. “I’m fine.”

Feldspar knew better than to prod. Instead he just rolled his eyes, offering the towel. “You wanna clean up?”

“Y-yeah…” Tweek grabbed for it, shifting away from his side long enough to remove the paint from his face. “Just give me a few minutes to fix this… is there breakfast?”

“Hell if I know.” Feldspar walked back towards the bed, searching for the clothes he’d discarded the previous evening. He began to dress himself, brushing at his hair with his fingers in an attempt to look presentable. He wished they had packed more with them on their initial trip to the castle. Of course, neither of them could have ever guessed they’d be staying as long as they had been. “They’re probably already down there… planning shit.”

“There’s not much to plan,” Tweek muttered, grabbing for his paints and beginning to decorate his face. “It’s not like they can send in an army after him. That would be…” he paused, shuddering.

“Hmm?”

“You know. Like… mass murder. Nobody stands a chance against him.”

Feldspar nodded to himself, finishing with his hat firmly on his head. He felt strange without it. He turned and sat down on the edge of the bed, fiddling with his ring as he waited for Tweek. “I mean… unless you’re us.”

“Unless you’re us,” Tweek echoed, setting down his paints and wiping his fingers on the dirtied towel. He stared sternly into his reflection, eyebrows rising and lowering, lip curling in determination.

“Practicing your war face?” Feldspar teased, glancing over and catching Tweek’s eyes in the mirror.

“No, dumbass.” The barbarian couldn’t help but giggled nervously. “I’m just… trying to make sure I don’t look too scared.”

“I think that’s the same thing, _dumbass,_ ” Feldspar commented, flopping backwards on the bed. “Besides, it’s fine to be afraid.” It was tough words coming from someone who had been crying right along aside him the night before.

Tweek didn’t say anything, stepping away from the mirror with a sigh. Satisfied with his paints, he began to put on his shoes and walk towards the door. “Come on, we should go find the others.”

Feldspar climbed off the bed, unhappily searching the floor for his boots. “I guess so.” His voice wavered so he bit his lip, trying to keep his cool. He didn’t know how Tweek managed to stay so calm all the time. As soon as both shoes were on his feet he hopped over to the barbarian’s side, taking his hand. It wasn’t much, but some of his spirit had returned. Maybe… just _maybe_ they had a fighting chance.

The two descended the familiar stairs down into the dining hall, but to their surprise, nobody was present.

“Are we the first ones up?” Tweek asked, looking around.

“No, I don’t think so.” Feldspar closed his eyes, listening closely. “I…I think I hear voices nearby.”

Tweek nodded, leading the way. They continued their path out of the dining hall towards the hallway where the gardens and Clyde’s bedroom where. The voices grew louder and louder until the stopped outside of another set of large, double doors.

“This is it,” Feldspar said, pushing it open. Inside they found everyone sitting at a large table covered in breakfast items.

“Thank _god_ you’re finally here,” Token said urgently, gesturing towards the table. The kings were sitting at both head seats, the other heroes and royal guard sitting in the remaining chairs. There were two left beside each other for the newlyweds.

The two swiftly took their seat at the table, grabbing for the offerings in the center. “Why didn’t someone come get us?” Tweek asked.

“We thought you might need your rest,” Kyle said, eyes glazed with worry. “Also I’m… I’m sorry about what I said last night. I didn’t mean to be so inconsiderate.”

“It’s fine,” Feldspar said, “we’re all a little on edge right now.”

Kyle relaxed a little, a slight smile on his face. “Okay… well then, since we’re all gathered, I think it’s time to begin discussing the plan.”

Everyone nodded.

“It’s about eight in the morning right now,” Eric said, interrupting. “We have about four hours until Douchebag strikes.”

Kyle glared at him before continuing. “There’s not much we can really do other than support Feldspar and Tweek on the journey to the kingdom square. Once we arrive and Douchebag is present, the only thing we can do is stand back and allow the Nagasaki to take its course.”

“Once the Nagasaki has been completed, is there anything we can do to help?” Stan asked, looking towards the two. “I mean… is backup necessary?”

“No,” Tweek said firmly, feeling his shoulders jump in surprise with how quickly he’d answered. “When we were with the monks, the prophesy wall depicted someone shooting Douchebag down. It’s gotta be done by me.” With all the uncertainty in the air, he clung tightly to that fact. It was all he had. “We’ll strike with the Nagasaki together and I’ll kill him while he’s weak.”

“What if he tries to Nagasaki right back?” Butters asked. “Isn’t he stronger?”

“We have twice the strength between the two of us,”  Feldspar corrected. “If he tries anything, we should still be able to overpower him.”

“Without the threat of the undead being part of the attack, we can focus our attention on Douchebag,” Chris continued. “Stan, Butters and I will accompany the heroes as far as we can. Their survival is paramount.”

Tweek shifted uncomfortably, curling around himself. _Their survival is paramount._ The thought of being that important in any respect was… new. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it. He began to shut out the conversation, lost in his own mind.

“Eric and I will be close behind,” Kyle said. “I…I really wanted to stay here with Clyde, but I need to be there when he gets taken down. I…I want to see him suffer for what he’s done to our son.”

“We’ll all m-make…make him p-p-pay,” Jimmy said confidently, pressing his hands into the table.

“I…” Tweek softly spoke, arms crossed in thought. He stared at the table in front of him. “I’m… curious about something.”

Everyone went quiet, attention diverged.

“…what is his _deal_?” he asked suddenly, lifting his head. “Why is he doing this?”

The silence remained. Nobody knew how to answer.

Tweek sighed, shaking his head. “I mean… nobody pulls this sort of stuff without a reason. I know he’s fucked up and he likes games, but something isn’t sitting right with me.”

Feldspar placed a hand on Tweek’s shoulder, attempting to comfort him. “Don’t worry about his motives. He’s just a piece of shit, we’ve concluded that before. We don’t need to know why; we just need to get rid of him.”

Tweek frowned, eyes still focused on the table in front of him.

“There’s still one more problem we need to think about,” Eric said suddenly, putting the conversation back on track. “What about Kenny?”

Everyone glanced around the table uncomfortably.

“Well?” the wizard asked, a hint of aggression in his voice. “She’s going to likely be nearby when Douchebag attacks. I know she’s working as his accomplice, but first and foremost she’s my _niece._ I need to return her home safe to my half-brother or I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“ _Eric_ ,” Kyle warned, shooting him a look.

“Does that mean we need a separate team to safely retrieve her?” Stan asked, a shocked expression on his face. “Sir, with all due respect, that’s the very suicide mission we’ve been trying to _avoid._ ”

“I don’t care,” the wizard replied, crossing his arms. “I already brewed up a reversal potion to get her back to normal. I’m not wasting my time here.” Like usual, he was using his hostility to mask his concern.

Feldspar nodded. The Grand Wizard didn’t need to say it, but he knew that he was worried about her. “We’ll figure out a way to get her back safe, sir. What if Stan, Butters and Chris moved in once me and Tweek have Douchebag distracted?”

“Oh jeez… I suddenly don’t want nothin’ to do with this,” Butters muttered, shrinking into a similar position to Tweek.

“It’s risky, but we might have to take it,” Chris said. “Once we escort the heroes to the front line, we’ll swoop around the perimeter of the central square to wherever Kenny is located. Once she’s out of the way, we can give a signal for Tweek and Feldspar to stop stalling and let off the Nagasaki. We can attack Douchebag without worrying about any unnecessary casualties.”

“Excellent work, Chris,” Kyle praised, completely unaware of the glare on Stan’s face. “That will be our plan of action then.”

“I’ll figure out a distraction for Feldspar and Tweek,” Eric said, nodding.

“Is e-eh…everything covered then?” Jimmy asked. Everyone glanced at each other in thought. “Anyone?”

“I think it’s settled,” Kyle said, eyes closing in satisfaction. “To recap- we will all ride down to the central square together where Douchebag is waiting for us. While Feldspar and Tweek distract him, the royal guard will retrieve Kenny and bring her to safety. Token and Jimmy will have Eric’s antidote on hand- if Douchebag has control over Clyde like this, he might have a hold on Kenny. We need to remove that potential threat _immediately._ Once that’s completed, the Nagasaki will be performed, and Tweek will shoot him down while he is weak. Is that clear?”

Everyone nodded in agreement.

“Then this meeting is adjourned,” Kyle concluded. “Stan, Chris, Butters- the three of you need to group up and plan for your mission. The rest of us will prepare ourselves as necessary-”

He was cut off by the sudden slam of the door into the meeting room being thrown open. There, clinging to the doorframe stood Clyde, an alarmed look on his face.

“Oh my _god_!” Kyle cried. Everyone scrambled from their seats towards the door in complete panic.

“How did he get down here!?” Eric asked, bewildered. Kyle was beside him now, practically holding the young king up. His face was still sickly and green, but much more alert than they had seen him the day before.

“I don’t know!” Kyle shouted back. His hand took his son by the chin, tilting his face upward. “Clyde, what’s…how…?”

Clyde clung to his father, their eyes meeting. “He’s…c-coming…” the boy muttered. “He’s c-coming…and I…I know…why…”

“Douchebag is distracted,” Feldspar concluded quickly, rushing back to the table and dragging over a chair. “Quick- he’s weak, but not completely under his control right now!” The High Elf quickly helped his son into the chair and everyone crowded around in complete silence, listening to what he might have to say.

Tweek stepped forward, a confused look on his face. “Clyde… what do you know about Douchebag?” Perhaps now he would be able to get the answers he had been thinking so hard about. “Why is he doing this to us? To you?”

Clyde leaned back against the chair, hands turning white with how tight he was gripping the sides. “I could h-hear…hear his thoughts…the whole time.” His eyes closed in pain as he let out a whine. “It’s all my f-fault…it’s my fault…”

“Clyde, no, it’s not your fault,” Kyle begged, stooping lower beside him. “Just tell us what he’s doing, we’re going to fix this!”

The young king let out another whimper, conflicted. “If I tell he’s…he’s gonna k…kill me!”

“No he won’t! We won’t let him! Please, just tell us before it’s too late!” Tweek cried. “Clyde, _what happened?!”_

Clyde took a shaking breath, his eyes opening again. “He’s jealous,” he muttered. He was losing strength. “He’s jealous of…of me. Of us. The kings. He wants to get back at me. He…he wants to be…in charge. And…he’s scared…”

“Scared?” Tweek asked. The room went completely silent. “Scared? Scared of what?”

Clyde shivered, eyes looking unfocused again. “The…the mural…” he whispered before his eyes drifted shut again, body limp against the chair.

“Fuck,” Kyle muttered, grabbing for his wrist. He felt at it for a moment, his hands trembling. “He’s…he’s still alive, but barely. We need to get him back to bed… and we need to head to the square. He said Douchebag is already on his way. We need to beat him there.”

“What about preparation?!” Stan begged, distressed. Kyle and Eric were helping Clyde up, practically dragging him out the door.

“No time!” Kyle called back, exiting the room.

With that, the remaining heroes were left in the hall alone.

“What are we gonna do?” Butters asked, hands clasped together in worry. “We don’t have time, the king said so…”

“We’re just going to have to do the best we can,” Chris said.

Tweek just pulled at his hair, staring at the floor. What did Clyde mean, ‘the mural’? The only thing he could possibly think of was the prophecy in the monk’s temple. It was just glass windows… what frightened him so much about it? Was he afraid that it would come true? How did he know about the windows in the first place?

“Tweek?” Feldspar asked, gently touching his arm. “Come on, we need to go upstairs and get your bow.”

Tweek shook his head, blinking a few times. No, now wasn’t the time to think about that. He needed to focus. “Got it,” he muttered, grabbing onto Feldspar’s hand. The two of them left the hall and headed towards the stairs.

“You’re really distracted this morning. What’s going on?” Feldspar prompted, leading him up towards their bedroom. “I…I know you’re freaking out, but… this is unlike you.”

“Sorry,” he sighed, his free hand rubbing at his eyes. “I’m just thinking is all. I wish we knew more about Douchebag before we head out there. He might try to pull something- what if we’re unprepared? I still feel like we’re going in blind…” He trailed off as they entered their bedroom. “We don’t know the extent of his power. We don’t know what he’s willing to do.”

“I already told you, the only thing we can do at this point is put faith in the Nagasaki and hope for the best.” Feldspar closed the door behind them, taking a deep breath. “I wish we knew his motive better too, but we don’t have enough time to figure that out.”

Tweek sighed again, making his way towards the corner of the room where they had been keeping their bags. He quietly scooped up his bow and quiver, playing them on his back. Feldspar was right- there was no room for those thoughts right now. What he needed to be thinking about was the task ahead of him.

“You’ve got this, okay?” the thief soothed, standing beside him. The two took hands by instinct, standing quietly together in the bedroom. It was their last moment together before they’d head towards the central square.

“Okay,” Tweek whispered, biting his lip. He ignored the terrible feeling in his chest just long enough to smile at his husband. “We’re good, right? We’re good.” He was assuring himself more than anything, but the thief might like to hear it too.

“We’re good,” he echoed, giving him a quick kiss.

Tweek was silent for a moment, eyes stuck on the floor. “Is that goodbye?” he finally asked, forcing another smile. He wanted to cry instead.

“No,” Feldpsar corrected, giving the same expression. “Just…good luck.”

“Then kiss me again,” Tweek demanded, making the move himself. This one lasted a moment longer before they pulled away, tears pricking the corners of their eyes. “We’re… we’re going to need it.”

Without another word they took hands and headed out the door, down towards the main ballroom of the castle. They needed to meet the others and begin their journey towards where it had all began.

It was time to face their greatest enemy.

The others were waiting in the ballroom as they expected. The royal guard was clad in armor, prepared for their mission, while the others had changed into more suitable clothing. Token held the wizard’s potion in his hands.

“Are we ready to go?” Kyle asked, looking at each member in turn. “After this, there’s no turning back.”

Everyone just nodded their heads, afraid to speak.

“Aright. Let’s head out.” With the kigs at the lead, the party exited through the large doors and out the gate towards the stables. Their horses were mounted, the knights took the lead, and down the hill they went.

Feldspar took another shaking breath as he clung to his husband, watching the trees and scenery pass by as they hurried towards the center of the kingdom. They had two hours until noon- and even then, Clyde said Douchebag was already on is way. Nobody spoke the entire ride. The danger levels were too high to make unnecessary conversation.

After nearly an hour of riding, the group stopped their horses at the top of the hill. As they looked down at the square, the familiar sight of the hooded man stood in the center, arms crossed impatiently.

“There he is,” Feldspar breathed, anxiety shooting through the roof. His legs felt shaky as he climbed off the horse, Tweek following after him.

“Alright men… time to put this in action.” Eric took the lead- after all, battle was his area of expertise. “Stan, Chris, Butters… take Tweek and Feldspar down the hill. As soon as Douchebag notices them, start to circle.”

“What’s our distraction?” Tweek asked, raising an eyebrow.

Eric laughed to himself, reaching into his robe. He produced a singular branch from a tree. It wasn’t exact, but the shape was similar to the now-broken Stick of Truth. “If he wants the stick, perhaps this might fool him long enough.”

“He fell for that once already, remember?” Tweek said, taking the branch. “I’m not sure if he’d accept it again.”

“It’s worth a shot,” Eric sighed, shrugging. “Speaking of distractions…”

“…Does anyone see Kenny right now?” Token continued, squinting as he peered down the hill.

“No, o-o-only Douchebag,” Jimmy replied. “But I se…sense she’s nearby.”

“Stan, Butters, keep your eyes peeled,” Chris whispered, locking eyes with each in turn. “The faster we grab her, the faster we can set off the Nagasaki.”

They nodded. “Come on, you two, let’s get going,” Stan said, looking down at the newlyweds. “Make your way on foot, we’ll take the horses. It’ll be easier for us to get to Kenny that way.”

“Got it,” Tweek said, adjusting the bow on his back. Hand in hand, the two heroes began to descend the hill with their escorts. It didn’t take long for the hooded figure to take notice.

“Ah…hah. There you are,” the echoing voice said, filling the square. The guards took it as their cue to disperse, leaving Tweek and Feldspar alone.

The barbarian felt his heart skip a few beats, legs wobbling. No, now was not the time to freak out. He had to be strong. He was strong…

“Did you bring me what I asked for?” Douchebag sneered, stepping forward to meet them. His attention was fixated on the branch in Tweek’s hand. “It only took you a week. What’s _wrong,_ did your little quest fail? Did those stupid monks _die_ before you could get to them?”

Tweek kept his mouth clenched shut as Feldspar squeezed his hand.

“Aww. Not talkative today, are we? That’s too bad. I mean, this _is_ worthy of celebration.” Douchebag stopped moving, the opposing sides mere feet apart.

Tweek’s eyes were trained on the horses circling the area, keeping careful attention for the signal. “You promise you’ll let Clyde go if we give you this?” he asked, continuing the act. He needed to stall just a bit longer.

“That was the deal,” Douchebag replied, extending a hand. “We’ll make this a peaceful exchange. You give me what I want, I let Clyde go, and everything will be fine. I’ll take my _rightful_ place in the castle, and you can go about your useless lives.”

Tweek scowled, hesitating. Where was the signal? Was Kenny really that hidden away? “…And,” he continued, hoping to negotiate, “we want Kenny back.”

Douchebag paused, considering the offer. “Oh?” he asked, amused. “Does the Grand Wizard miss his wittle niece?” He laughed, the ground trembling below them. “Whatever. He can have her. She’s been little use to me anyway.”

Tweek’s eyes darted back to the circling horses. “I want to see her before I hand this over.”

“I guess so,” Douchebag sighed, turning to look behind himself. “KENNY! OUT!” he shouted, his booming voice impossible to ignore.

As soon as the princess was visible, the horses made a mad dash.

“WHAT?!” Douchebag cried, fingers flickering with magic. He threw his hand behind him, but just missed as Stan grabbed her around the waist and hoisted her onto his horse.

“GO GO GO!” the knight screamed, taking off in the opposite direction.

“YOU IDIOT!” Douchebag wailed, stepping backwards. “YOU CAN’T DEFEAT ME! _I’M_ THE STRONGER PLAYER HERE! YOU CAN’T FOOL ME THAT EASILY!”

“We’ll see about that!” Feldspar shouted back. Their hands still clasped tightly, the two heroes began to raise their arms, the familiar rumbling engulfing the area.

“No!” Douchebag cried again, mimicking them. “You can’t! You won’t!” His voice was trembling as badly as the ground. “You… can’t!”

“Tweek! Now!” Feldspar cried, the two of them meeting eyes. Just as quickly as they had started, the two of them threw themselves to the ground, Douchebag following immediately. The entire area erupted into blinding white light, the force of the three Nagasaki throwing their casters backwards. The two heroes grips on each other released, sending them in different directions.

Tweek’s face slammed into the ground, skidding as his body finally came to a stop at the edge of the square. He hissed in pain as blood dripped down his cheek from the freshly formed wounds. Where was he? Where was Douchebag? His Bow? His vision was still too blurry from the impact. Even if he wanted to move, his entire body was overcome with the familiar weakness and ache as the first time he’d cast the spell.

Ignoring the desperate screaming from his muscles, the barbarian strained to lift his head, trying to focus on his surroundings. He could just make out the blue blob in the distance, lying on the ground.

There he was.

With a harsh grunt, his fingers clawed at the ground, forcing himself to a higher position. He couldn’t help letting out a scream as he pulled himself forward towards another familiar blur. His bow had skidded just a bit in front of where he had landed. It was all up to him now. It ended here.

With what little strength he had left, Tweek dragged himself towards the bow, gripping it with his left hand. His vision was a bit clearer now as he lifted it, placing it over his shoulder. Now all he needed to do was get close enough to shoot him. Feldspar was crying out for him somewhere to his left, but he pressed on. This was his destiny. The monks had told him so. He was going to finally prove his worth. No more cowering, no more fear, no more anxiety.

He slowly pushed himself to his feet, stumbling forward. He could see the caped figure perfectly now, curled up in a ball on the ground. The closer he got, the more he swear he could hear…

Crying?

He froze a few feet away, struggling to stand. No, he was sure that was crying. It echoed like Douchebag’s voice, but not quite as loud…

 No.

He shook his head. Now was not the time for sympathy. His fingers scrambled for his bow and an arrow, loading it up and pointing it towards the figure.

“I’m going to kill you,” he whispered, voice still as weak as his body. “This is over.”

“Please,” came the smaller-than-usual voice, “d-don’t…”

Again he froze, overcome with a strange feeling. The figure struggled to roll over, his hood catching on the stones below him and dropping from his face. All that Tweek could see was the myriad of shifting faces, flashing eyes brimming with tears.

“Don’t,” the voice whimpered again, lips barely moving. He scowled, but his eyes were begging.

“No,” Tweek said, trying to restrain himself. His fingers were shaking as he continued to hesitate.

“Please!”

“No!” he said again, nearly shouting. His hands were trembling violently, his knees threatening to give out. Why now? Why was he doing this again? “It’s over!”

“STOP!” Douchebag screamed, using what little strength he had to thrust his arm forward. From his fingertips flew a blinding white light, aimed for Tweek’s face. By instinct, the Barbarian’s fingers released, the arrow flying from the string.

 

 

And then… there was nothing.

 

 

His vision blurred for the second time as he stumbled. All he could see was pure white surrounding him. His bow clattered to the non-existent ground, wide eyes searching the unfamiliar place.

What happened? Where was he?

Tweek let out a shaking breath, trying to make sense of the situation. It was almost as if he was back in the mindscape again. His body had stopped the terrible ache from the Nagasaki, just like when he had been practicing. It didn’t make any sense. Confused, he turned on his heels, finally daring to acknowledge the feeling that someone was with him.

Just behind him sat a boy, not much older than he was. His hands were pressed firmly to his face as he sobbed, the blue cloak abandoned beside him. His body trembled with each hiccupping breath until he dared to look up.

Their eyes met.

“I…I’m…” his voice whispered, tears streaming down his unwavering face. “I’m… s-sorry…”

Tweek jumped at the sight, stepping back. “What…” He was almost certain of what he was seeing now, but he didn’t want to believe it. “Who are you? Where are we?”

The boy sniffled a few times, scowling. “You already know,” he whimpered, rubbing at his eyes. “You already fucking know…”

Tweek’s body relaxed, suspicions confirmed. This was the mindscape… and that was… “Douchebag?” he asked softly, stepping forward again.

“Dovahkiin,” the boy muttered, still rubbing at his eyes. “It’s Dovahkiin. That’s just my stupid nickname.”

Tweek continued his quiet approach until he was beside the boy. He couldn’t help but feel his vulnerability; there was nothing either of them could do to hurt each other here. With false security he sat beside him.

The boy sniffled again, turning his face the other direction. His body tensed as he tried to curl up further. Tweek took a deep breath, sensing his hostility. There had to be a reason they were here. He had to speak to him.

“Dovahkiin,” he said gently, feeling his voice waver, “what happened to you?”

Douchebag shuddered, a few more tears slipping down his cheeks. His lip trembled as he stared into the distance. “I don’t know,” he muttered, fingers sliding from his cheeks to his chest. He dug at his shirt, almost anxiously. “I don’t know… it wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

“How so?”

The boy perked up slightly, eyes daring to glance at Tweek. “Everything. _Everything_ went wrong.” He curled back up again, bringing his knees close to his chest. “My parents died. I wasn’t strong enough to become the king’s successor. I misused my magic and now…” he trembled again, expression twisting as he tried his best to hold it in.

“…now you’re trapped?” Tweek finished, looking at him curiously.

“…I’m _scared,_ ” he whimpered, fresh tears coming to his eyes. He dropped his head to his knees, weeping quietly to himself. Tweek just stared at him in silence, unsure what else to do. Here he was, talking to their enemy with a strange sense of sympathy. Somehow, he couldn’t help but feel the same.

“Dovahkiin,” he said, placing a hand on his shoulder, “I… I understand.”

Again, the boy lifted his head, sniffing. “You do?” he asked softly, bewildered.

“Yeah.” Tweek scooted closer, biting his lip. “We’re kinda the same, you know? We lost our parents. We…we wanted to be strong. We wanted to prove ourselves, right?” He glanced over, watching Douchebag nod. “And we’re both scared. We just made different choices to get where we are.”

Douchebag’s head leaned to the side, resting on Tweek’s shoulder. “I hate it,” he whimpered.

“I know…” Tweek sighed, the image of his husband coming to mind. No matter what, he’d always comforted him when he was sure that things were over. “…but it’s okay to be afraid.”

“I just wanted Clyde to pay,” Douchebag hissed, pressing harder into his shoulder. He growled to himself, the angry tears still flowing. “He took everything away from me. I tried and tried and _tried…_ but no matter what, I couldn’t change my destiny. It’s all his fault…”

“No, it’s not,” Tweek corrected. It was clear now why Clyde had mentioned the mural. It had depicted so many terrible things for Douchebag- of course he had wanted things to turn out differently. The words of the monks suddenly came back to him. “You’re the deciding factor in how your story ends, though. The mural doesn’t mean anything unless you want it to. You can still make a different choice- a better choice, even.” Tweek paused, looking over at him. “How do you want to finish this?”

Douchebag just stared into the empty void, silent.

Tweek closed his eyes, taking another breath. He suddenly understood why he was here. He gently wrapped an arm around the other boy’s shoulders, bringing him down until his head rested in his lap.

Douchebag let out another small whimper. “I don’t want to go back to the real world. It hurts… the magic, and… and being half-dead…”

Tweek nodded, fingers running through the boy’s hair. “You don’t have to, if you want.”

“Is it weak of me to let go?”

“I don’t think so,” Tweek said, “but it’s your choice.”

Douchebag was quiet, his tears having stopped. “Then… then I think I’d like to go back to sleep now,” he whispered. “Just tell Clyde I’m sorry, okay? That he didn’t deserve this. He was a good kid.” He gave another shiver, his eyes closing. “…and Kenny. Tell Kenny that I’m sorry, too.”

“I promise I will,” Tweek whispered back, fingers brushing against his hair again. He could feel the boy relax against him.

“Thank you.”

Tweek smiled back, satisfied. The weight on his shoulders felt like it was lifting. “Rest well,” he said gently, watching as the life faded from the boy’s face. “Perhaps I’ll see you again someday.”

Slowly, the mindscape began to dissolve around him. He was back in the square, Douchebag’s head still on his lap. An arrow was pierced through his chest, right where Tweek had aimed.

“It’s all over now,” the barbarian whispered. He lowered his head in respect, taking notice of Douchebag’s face. Just like in the mindscape, it was unchanging… and peaceful.

“Tweek! Holy shit, you did it!”

The others were crowding around now, Feldspar in the lead. He was stumbling, still weak, but he could stand.

“It’s alright, everyone,” Tweek said softly, laying the boy to the ground. “He’s alright now.”

The kings exchanged confused glances, but relief swept the group regardless.

“We’re glad it’s over,” Kyle sighed, moving to help Tweek up. Kenny, now looking much less green, came beside them.

“I knew you could do it,” she said, a huge smile on her face. “I’m sorry for what I did. I thought I was helping, but I just made everything worse…I hope you can forgive me.”

“Don’t worry,” Tweek replied, rubbing at his wounded cheek. “Douchebag—I mean, Dovahkiin… he told me to tell you sorry as well.”

Kenny’s lip trembled, her hand over her chest. “I’ll always forgive him,” she whispered, stepping back with the others. Their mood had lifted significantly.

Everything was going to be okay.

 

* * *

 

With the battle finally out of the way, the group went back to their horses and traveled up towards the castle once more. To their surprise, Clyde was waiting at the door for them, right back to normal. There were lots of hugs between him and his fathers, and Tweek delivered Douchebag’s message.

Everything returned to normal.

As promised, Tweek and Feldspar journeyed back to the barbarian village where they threw a second, much grander wedding. Nearly everyone in the kingdom attended the festivities, and to Feldspar’s delight, they managed to finish on a higher note.

The castle gardens were soon repaired and replanted, the roses looking just as beautiful as they had when the children were young. Douchebag was given a proper burial beside the fountain, the unbroken statue moved to make his grave.

A few months after things had settled down, the two newlywed heroes were invited back to the castle for one more celebration. The kings asked them to be honorary members of the royal guard, and they accepted. Tweek, Felspar, Token and Jimmy were all knighted.  As the last brick was removed from the wall that had once separated Zaron, the kings passed their duties onto their son. Like the ones before him, Clyde led with kindness and grace, bringing prosperity and happiness to a kingdom so long plagued with fear.

 

* * *

 

“Yeah, but _then_ what happened?”

Tweek paused, raising an eyebrow at the little girl in his lap. She had long brown hair and deep eyes, just like the others in their village, her tiny face decorated with the same swirling patterns. The only difference was that he had adopted her as his own. “I’m not done yet,” he laughed, poking her in the stomach. “You’re just like your father.”

“Cool?” she asked, a mischievous grin on her face.

“Craig is the opposite of ‘cool’. The answer is _impatient_.” Tweek shook his head at her, calming his laughter so he could finish his story. “The kingdom of Zaron was finally at peace. The two heroes got everything they wanted… a happy life, and a happy family.” He held his daughter closer, eyes darting towards the opening of their tent. He could see Feldspar just outside, his dark hair complimented by the thorn crown on his head. It was everything he ever wanted.

“And they lived happily ever after?” she asked, patting his shoulder to get his attention back. “Come on, say the words!”

Tweek grinned as he turned back to her, his hazel eyes shining. “…and they lived happily ever after.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your support while writing this series. It's kinda a bittersweet feeling to end it ;u; I hope you enjoyed <3


End file.
